


Damocles' Sword

by Angelscythe



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Asexual Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Blood and Violence, M/M, Mercenary Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Black Eagles Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Sylvix Week (Fire Emblem), no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:34:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 54,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26579158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelscythe/pseuds/Angelscythe
Summary: When he was just a little boy, Sylvain swore something to Felix: I’ll follow you everywhere.And he did.Years and years after, he followed him to Garreg Mach, betrayed their Kingdom together and stepped against their family. When Felix decided to give up his title and his grounds, he followed again.Almost five years after the War, the peace they have fought together is about to be dismantled so what else could Sylvain do except work hand in hand with his husband to defeat another enemy?
Relationships: Background - Glenn Fraldarius/Holst Goneril/Miklan, Felix Hugo Fraldarius & Glenn Fraldarius, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Sylvain Jose Gautier & Miklan
Kudos: 7
Collections: Sylvix Week 2020 Fic Collection





	1. Prologue: Your voice on this rainy day

**Author's Note:**

> H... Hi!!  
> Here is my Prologue for my Sylvix week!!! It'd be... 20 chapters because I can't write short? I worked hard on it so thank you for looking it up!!!
> 
> I wish you a fantastic day and to feast with the love of those beautiful idiots for this whole week!!!  
> Don't forget that you're awesome, you matter and you are loved!!! I believe in you and your project (even if it's just chilling all day long!!) and also, wear a mask, wash your hands and hydrate yourself!!

It was raining.

It was raining so hard that, coming here had been one of the biggest ordeals of his life. Not harder than losing his brother but certainly more than supporting the vision of Dimitri’s face every day for one year.

Almost one year…

His father was supposed to be so happy to see him come back after having followed Glenn’s path. And yet, he was coming back, one month too early, on Sylvain’s favorite horse. Wouldn’t Sylvain hate him if it arrived something to his mare? He loved her so much and the white of her coat was now stained with gray and brown.

“FATHER!!” he yelled.

The barriers in front of the mansion immediately opened and two guards let him come inside. Even under the hood trying to save him from the cold and violent rain, you could recognize his face. He was shivering under the coldness…

The big door opened across the garden Felix was crossing, leaving the horse in the entry.

“Felix! What’s happening?! What’s wrong?!”

For a solid second, Felix thought he would add ‘with you’ but he didn’t. The man was standing under the threshold of his entry; Felix’s face was hit by the cold rain. Yes… it was Faerghus…

“Father…”

Felix pushed down the hood, grabbed the knife at his thigh and cut his hair as close of his scalp he could. Thin hair fell, scattered, the length chaotic but so short.

Rodrigue’s eyes widened. He saw his son cutting his hair one time and it was after Glenn’s death. He had removed his length of hair he had almost never cut, removing that long braid he was so proud of.

“Father… I’m leaving the Kingdom,” Felix said, kneeling to present him the hair.

“What are you saying?”

“I can’t pursue like that. This path isn’t my path and I saw Dimitri doing too many horrible things to accept what you want from me. You want me to serve him? To die for him like Glenn died for him? I can’t father! This isn’t my path!”

“And what will you do?” Rodrigue asked. “Going to the Alliance?!”

Felix shook his head.

“Sreng?”

New shook.

“Duscur?!” the man hiccupped in horror.

“I thought this belonged to the Kingdom,” Felix said, looking directly at him.

But not in the eyes. The only glance of his father he got when their eyes met made him shiver.

“I will leave to the Empire.”

“The Empire?!” Rodrigue hiccupped. “They are our enemies!”

“I thought your beloved King had made an alliance with them, marrying the Queen of…”

Rodrigue slapped his hand, making fly the hair Felix was still holding out to him.

“Don’t you dare using Lambert for your filthy thoughts. Since that day Glenn died…”

“You told me you would have preferred me to die instead of your wife that damned day I came in this horrible World! Would you have preferred me to die instead of Glenn?”

“How dare you?!” Rodrigue growled.

His hand dashed in the air.

Felix didn’t move. He deserved it. He shouldn’t have betrayed Glenn’s name.

But the blow never came?

“Never touch him that way,” a very cold voice said.

Felix blinked and turned his head. He hadn’t recognized his voice… Usually, his voice was so warm, so tender. How could it lay so much poison, coldness in this loving voice…

“Sylvain?” he whispered, looking at his friend who held his father’s wrist.

Sylvain let go of Rodrigue, looking at him with such coldness in those eyes so usually full of love. When Sylvain held out his hand to Felix, Felix naturally moved his fingers to his palm and he was so surprised to feel the warmth he loved that much. He expected it to be cold, stiff…

“Come, Fe’…” he whispered.

He caressed the hand he was holding and brought him toward the entry. He removed his vest and passed it above Felix’s head, protecting him from the rain. And he moved his hand to take it again, but the one from the other side, almost hugging him as he wanted to protect him from… everything.

Felix didn’t need that.

But he accepted it gladly.

“Felix!” Rodrigue yelled.

Felix turned his head but he couldn’t see anything.

“If you leave, if you betray your King, never dare come back to me!”

“Fe’…” Sylvain whispered.

Felix walked toward the white mare and the stallion Sylvain had taken to come here.

“How have you managed…?”

“When you left that fast, saying nothing and Ingrid had no ideas where you were, I thought I knew it. And when I realized you had taken my Lobelia, I was sure…”

Approaching the white horse, he gently caressed her and grabbed Felix by the waist to help him climb on it. Felix didn’t need that, neither, but was glad he did that. And glad he was making him go on Lobelia and not the big dark horse with a red mane. It was way too big for him to manage to climb on him.

“You told me I could ride her when I needed it.”

“Yes. I’m glad you did.”

Sylvain climbed behind him and grabbed the reins. He looked at Rodrigue who was staring at them. Something in his attitude showed that he wanted Felix to stay, that he could dash to grab Felix’s hand, asking him to stay.

But he wouldn’t do it.

Because a Knight wouldn’t do such a thing to his opinion…

“But how have you managed to…”

“You’re not a good rider, Fe’. And I took a horse I trusted and could make use some shortcut. So here we are. Are you covered enough from the rain?” he asked, moving the vest above him.

Felix glanced at the big horse.

It was Miklan’s horse…

“Who cares about that?” he said, turning his head toward Sylvain.

“Me.”

Sylvain pressed his heels in the side of Lobelia, making her move and he whistled after Miklan’s horse.

“Have you heard what I said? I leave for the Empire!”

“Felix!” Rodrigue called.

“Keep going,” Felix whispered.

“I heard,” he said, making the white mare leave the Fraldarius’ property. “And I will come with you.”

“You will come with me?” Felix repeated with surprise.

“What were you expecting me to do, Fe’… If you leave the Kingdom, I have no reason to stay there neither.”

“What about the Gautier’s dominion?! What about…”

“And what about Fraldarius?” Sylvain said. “I never wanted it, Felix. I prefer being with you… Wherever you’d go. The Empire? I’m in! The End of the World? Still in! You won’t get rid of me, Felix… Unless that’s what you want?”

Felix shook his head.

“Say, Fe’…?”

“Yes?”

“Do you still want to marry me?”

Felix hiccupped.

“What?”

“When we were children, we swore we will die together. Since then, I dream to hug you the day everything will be over.”

“You have strange dreams, Sylvain. And that’s why I still want to marry you.”

Sylvain ruffled in his uniform. And then let out a cuss taking back the vest he had put on Felix to ruffle in those pockets.

“Sorry. I will give it back to you soon.”

“I don’t mind the rain,” Felix said.

Sylvain removed a tiny box from a pocket and opening it in front of Felix. There were two rings there.

“I… I asked Hilda to make those for us, I hope you fine with it.”

Felix stared at the ring composed with two rings intertwined. A blue and a red.

“Since when do you have it?”

“Remember the Ball? When you allowed me to dance with you?”

“Hm-hm…”

“Asked her the day just after. She gave it to me one month after and… I just wanted to ask you.”

Felix looked at him.

“Of course, I do… Leaving the Kingdom without you was tearing my heart in pieces. But now…”

Sylvain smiled.

“Felix Hugo Fraldarius, we are just here, you, the rain, the stars, the Moon and me… No one to see our love except Lobelia and Dumbass? But who cares because you’re here. You’re everything I need.” He caressed his cheek tenderly. “I promise to cherish you in sickness or health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse for now and beyond the grave… So, tell me, do you want to take me as husband?”

“I do,” Felix replied. He couldn’t help smiling when Sylvain slid gently the ring at his finger. He intertwined their fingers. ”Sylvain José Gautier, I give you my hand, my heart and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live and beyond the grave. I promise you to cherish our union, to love you a bit more every day and to adore every of your default as much as your quality. I will always trust you, always be by your side, in sickness or health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse and so regardless of the obstacles we may face _together_. This is why I’m asking you, do you want to take me as husband?”

“Fe’… I do,” Sylvain tenderly replied.

Felix held out his hand to take the ring in the little box and then Sylvain’s hand, sliding the ring at its place, bonding their lives even more than what they already were.

“You know what they say,” Felix whispered. “Rainy wedding day…”

“… happy marriage,” Sylvain cut short, tenderly. “Now, you shall kiss your Sylvain.”

Felix smiled and tugged on his cheek to join their lips.


	2. The path we will take

Six years later

Fhirdiad…

Fhirdiad in flames…

Bodies everywhere.

What have he done?

He couldn’t breathe anymore… Everything was violently coming back in his mind. How they invaded little by little every territory; how they took over Derdriu to have the Alliance under Edelgard’s thrall; how they slaughtered Seteth and Flayn as well as Shamir and Aloïs to keep the Monastery even though it didn’t belong to them; how they killed… How _he_ killed his father and saw Sylvain forced to kill Ingrid to protect him. He still remembered her last words, she thought about Glenn, she would join him… but this idea didn’t ease Dorothea’s heart who still cried just before this combat. He remembered how they went on the Tailtean Plain and he slaughtered Dimitri despite Dedue’s effort to protect him. They killed Mercedes, Annette… Ashe…

What had he done?

“FELIX?!”

Felix felt hands on his elbows and he stared the floor.

“What have we done, Sylvain?” he whispered. “We betrayed our countries, our beloveds…”

“There is nothing but you in my heart and I will never betray you,” Sylvain swore.

“You killed Ingrid because of me,” he said under his breath.

“I was supposed to let her slay you down?”

Felix was an excellent fighter, better than Sylvain. But when she mentioned Glenn, Felix froze and to this day, they would never know if she really believed the words she threw at him or if she tried to win over him. No matter what… And of course it worked on Felix: she threw this to his face just after that Rodrigue told him he considered him as a mistake, said he would kill him to wash this affront…

“Ingrid is dead, the Boar is dead… What have I done?” Felix asked. “I should have been by their side, I should…”

“No, Felix,” Sylvain protested. “You shouldn’t have died. You are right to have followed your path.”

“BUT LOOK AROUND! Look around…” he shivered. “Look at what we did… Fhirdiad is… Fhirdiad is no more. Remember when we were children and we played here? We always did huge hide and seek game and… and Glenn would always find us when he played with us… Do you remember the laugh of Ingrid? Of… Dimitri?”

“You couldn’t stand anymore what Dima had become, what he would do if he had the reins of the Kingdom. And you were right! You hadn’t done this. Edelgard hadn’t done this!” Sylvain protested, showing the ruins of Fhirdiad. “The Church did that… That fucking Church… Rhea…” He looked down. “Seiros… They lied to us since so long,” he whispered. “And now, with Edelgard, Crests won’t matter anymore… That’s… That’s what I needed. That’s what I wanted, Felix.”

Felix stared at him and moved his hand, gently cupping his cheek, brushing a freckle with his thumb.

“Then I’m glad to have taken this path.”

“Fe’…”

Sylvain pressed his hand over Felix’s.

“But I can’t… I can’t stay here. I can’t become the Duke Fraldarius? How could I face…”

He looked down, his fingers twitching. Sylvain caressed his hand.

“What do you want to do?”

“Don’t ask me that!” Felix protested.

Sylvain stared at him with surprise.

“Don’t always act like my decisions and my feelings were more important than yours! This is what you want but you didn’t follow me because you wanted to embrace your convictions!”

“I wanted to embrace my convictions! And my convictions are to always stay with you. You are the hand, the voice, the smile…” He gently smiled. “That makes me keep going. My place is by your side. No matter what.”

“So it is for me,” Felix whispered. “What do _you_ want to do?”

Sylvain shrugged.

“Frankly…” He ruffled his hair with a sigh. “I don’t know… I didn’t think we were supposed to take back our Dominion? I’m fine without the Gautier’s Territory… I don’t like this place, so cold… So full of memories I don’t want to remember about…” he whispered, looking away. “I can’t live there.”

Felix looked at him and wanted to snuggle in his arms but he couldn’t.

Not now…

They were behind a wall and for now no one could see them so it was fine but the Black Eagles would appear at any moment and he refused to let them see his weakness.

“Edelgard needs people she can rely on for ruling Fódlan. She made us Generals because she trusted us and she expected us to take back our title and Dominion. She asked me if I wanted to rules over the Galatea’s territory…” Felix said. “This is something I can’t stand.”

“Then _we_ will abandon our title…”

“Are you sure this is what you want to do? Perhaps you can go with Edelgard, from somewhere else, from here? With your view of the Crests…”

“Are you trying to divorce to me?” Sylvain asked.

“What?! Never!!!!” Felix protested, deeply outraged.

Sylvain took his hand, smiling as he leaned to kiss the ring.

“Fe’… I’ll follow you everywhere. I’ll follow you to Hell. I will walk by your side no matter what… Are you afraid? From taking the wrong decision?”

“For you,” Felix said. “I’m afraid _you_ might take the wrong decision. I’m forcing you to…”

Sylvain put his knee on the floor, staring at him with love and adoration.

“You aren’t forcing me to anything. You are my life, Felix. I refuse to live a life where you aren’t here. It’s up to you what we would do as long as I can see you, hold you in my arms because… because, without you, I wouldn’t be alive anymore. It’s because of you I manage to come outside this well when I was just a child; it’s because of you I came in Garreg Mach; it’s because of you I have the courage to wake up and to smile. I will never regret anything! Not with you… You are giving me all I want. You give me the only thing I only wished…You love me no matter what. You love me despite my Crest, you love me truly… For you, I will keep going. For you, I will see as many sunrises as you want. For you… I’ll do anything. As long as you love me back…”

“I will always love you,” Felix whispered. “I’ve been cursed the first time I saw you. Can’t stop loving you, no matter what.”

“Then I will follow you…”

Felix caressed his cheek with a sad smile.

“Dumbass!” Sylvain said.

Felix closed his eyes. “I hate Miklan… why he called his stupid horse that way?”

“Mother said he received him as a foal the day I was born. So I guess that’s why!” Sylvain laughed.

The big black horse walked toward him, moving his head and his red mane danced in the air. From the other side of the wall, you could hear Edelgard talking to the troops, congratulating them, being so relieved… There had been a moment of confusion when Byleth didn’t talk, move, but this moment of confusion was done and now everybody was so relieved…

It was over.

Over of the Church as such.

Over of the Supremacy of Rhea, or Seiros since it was who she really was…

The Crests wouldn’t be a matter anymore, the division of Fódlan under three Nations, plenty of little Dominions… It was true Edelgard hadn’t been able to join Holst about the Fódlan’s locket and she couldn’t blame him. Why would he help her when her troops killed his sister? She was just worry because she heard that Almyrans were now entering in Fódlan but perhaps she could ask Claude to deal with that? He was in her debt…

Sylvain stared at the wall, knowing Ferdinand was there, cheering with the others.

“Say Felix…”

“Yes?” Felix said, turning toward him.

Felix was just in front of Dumbass and he seemed to think how he could climb on that horse. He wasn’t that good as a rider, having refused to learn because he wanted to be so different of his father… And Dumbass was so tall, how could he climb on his back.

“There is something I would like to do before we leave for whatever the Wind will carry us…”

“Sure, anything you want,” Felix replied.

Sylvain smiled and approached him. He crouched, placing his hands to allow Felix to climb on Dumbass, following his movement.

“Is it going to pick up Lobelia?” Felix wondered anyway.

“Yeah, we totally should do that too.”

Dumbass was a better horse when it comes to War, he had been raised that way and he had carried Miklan for so much battle, he had carried Miklan to the Conan Tower and Sylvain was sure it wouldn’t have been that easy to strike his brother down if he wasn’t on foot… Sylvain loved Lobelia but he couldn’t bring her to war. Anyway, they would need another horse sometimes and he really didn’t want to let the mare at Garreg Mach.

“So…” Felix wondered.

“You’ll see,” Sylvain winked, climbing on Dumbass behind his husband.

Felix should have hit Sylvain when he told him ‘you’ll see’ that way. But he tried to avoid hitting Sylvain, first, and also he trusted him. He didn’t need to know where they were. As long as they were together, it would be okay…

As long as they were together, they could go across anything.

After a couple of hours riding across the plains and when they traversed a river at a low level, he recognized the horizons. They were entering in the Gautier’s territory. For long, the Dominion was quite tiny and it was spreading from this river separating the Blaiddyd, The Fraldarius and Gautier grounds to the forest, a few kilometers away. Lucas Ernest Gautier had been so delighted when Rodrigue and Lambert took weapons against Sreng to extend his territory. He wasn’t a tiny scion anymore. He was the ruler of a prestigious Dominion.

And Sylvain knew that about him.

He knew how he conquered Sreng, how he kidnapped the Princesses of Sreng after having slaughtered the King and the Queen while Rodrigue protected Lambert from the Warriors of Sreng. Sylvain knew how his father managed to blend the blood of the Kingdom to the blood of the Royalty of Sreng by the wedding and how he had been horrible to his first son because he was nothing… His first son looked like his mother but uglier, he had no Crest he was just… just good to be the heir of a Realm he wanted to see die. And then… he got what he wanted but nothing changed. Not the coldness of his being, not the coldness of his mansion, vibrating with his energy. Lucas Ernest Gautier couldn’t love… He could only gather things that made him feel alive. Even if he was turning people around him into walking dead…

“We’re soon here, isn’t it?” Felix said, guessing why they were in that Dominion.

“Yes.”

“Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Sylvain replied, determined. “I just… I need to take a last decision,” he confessed. “But in any case, would you agree to be by my side?”

“I am by your side, Sylvain. You don’t have to ask.”

“Thank you.”

Sylvain closed his arm around him, pressing his head against his neck. He pressed a kiss under his chin, one of the only little area not covered with skin and he loved it. Felix moved his head, laying it against his shoulder so Sylvain could have the entire access he needed. So Sylvain could drag energy, courage from this little portion of skin at the mercy of his love.

“Sylvain…” he whispered.

“My Felix…” Sylvain smiled.

“Sylvain… Do you know if your father is still alive?”

Sylvain groaned.

“That’s such a cock-blocking move. You mean.”

“Sorry,” Felix replied.

“I don’t know,” Sylvain honestly replied. “Knowing him, he could be just locked in his Mansion, waiting for all of this to be over.” He closed his eyes. “You remember how he sent your father and Gilbert to fix Miklan’s crap?”

“Yes…”

Sylvain pressed his forehead against his neck.

“You can kiss if you want to…”

“I’m so glad to have married you,” Sylvain said, kissing the skin again, closing his eyes.

He felt Dumbass reluctant but for a few seconds, he didn’t want to think. At all. Just hugging the love of his life. Just forgetting everything, forgetting what they have done, what blood was spreading on their hand… He didn’t want Felix to feel sorry about this, guilty about this but he remembered Ingrid’s face, he remembered her words… He knew everybody was in joy that the War was over, that Edelgard had reached what she wanted more than anything but he knew he will never have fun with Ingrid and Dimitri again.

Leaving to be just with Felix was, in fact, a delight because he could just… forget.

Forget all of this.

His life was Felix and he didn’t want anything else… He just wanted to have him in his mind, in his heart. He intent to keep going with him, thank to him…

Sylvain gulped as he saw the outline of the city starting to appear in front of their eyes. Soon, he will reach the mansion of his parents…

He felt fingers on his hands, gently pressing on them. Sylvain couldn’t help smiling then and intertwined their fingers. His head still lying against the broad’s shoulder, Felix stared at him.

“It’s going to be alright…”

Sylvain replied with a groan.

He hoped…

He really hoped so.

This hand on his, their fingers intertwined, it was giving him all the courage he needed. Like those kisses from earlier, his skin, his eyes… everything was helping him. Every little things, every little details was making him move forward the big Mansion. They had crossed the whole Capital of the Margraviate and the more they grew closer, the more Sylvain needed to drag energy in that hand. He could feel Dumbass walking slower, protesting to keep going but Sylvain managed to lead him to the edge of the property. Sylvain caressed the mane of the big horse and forced himself to pull away from Felix. Sylvain jumped from the back, snatched the Lance of Ruin from the saddle and moved his head toward Felix. Which passed his two legs in the same side and let Sylvain lay his hands on his waist to help him to come down.

Felix circled Sylvain’s shoulders with his arms, allowing himself to an instant of tenderness, kissing Sylvain in hop to give more courage to his husband. Sylvain replied to him, passionately kissing him back, holding his tiny body in his arms and being so glad Felix allowed him that way to… feel useful, loved, unique, strong and more important than anything… to live through him.

As he put him down, he groaned.

“Dumbass! Where are you going?!”

“I hate your brother…” Felix whispered. How often he had thought Sylvain was suddenly insulting him? “It’s fine, let him do… He’ll come back, no?”

“Yeah… at least he is less stubborn than his owner…”

He sighed and forced himself to step away from Felix, not wanting to force him to be cuddling and charming in front of his parents. Felix followed him anyway as he walked toward the big doors and when Sylvain violently knocked at it, he prayed the Goddess to be on his side for once.

Please, don’t reply…

He _had_ to come, sever the bridges one for all but he didn’t _want_ to be there…

The door opened.

The servant in the entry opened surprised eyes.

“You… You are the young Master,” he said.

“Yes… Are my parents here?” Sylvain asked.

“Sir Gautier is at a council…” Sylvain smirked. “And Lady Gautier is there. Do you want to see her?”

“Yes.”

Sylvain moved forward. The servant hiccupped.

“You can’t enter!”

“Why?”

“Sir Gautier said…”

“What he said doesn’t matter,” a melancholic voice came.

Felix looked up at the Lady that was coming toward them wearing a skin-tight top with a turtle-neck and long sleeves. Except there was a whole around the shoulders and every edge was covered with fur. A bustier-dress was passed above it and there was an energy coming from her.

Nobility.

More than Nobility.

And she walked toward them. Felix bowed in front of her and she passed her arms around Sylvain, hugging him.

“What are you doing there?” she whispered.

“The Kingdom fell. Fódlan belongs to the Empire now.”

“I know,” she sadly said. “Your father left for a council. He is amongst the last Nobles of the Last Age and they have to decide what they will do…” She stepped away to touch his cheek, looked at the blood on his armor, on his skin, even on his hair… “Sylvain… Your father won’t agree to see you here. You left without a word and I don’t blame you; they said you were there the day Rodrigue died…”

Sylvain didn’t reply but looked down.

“I don’t blame you,” she said. “But your father will blame you. I just want to take care of you before it is too late. You will leave, isn’t it?”

Sylvain nodded.

She glanced at Felix.

“You will take care of him?”

“I promise it, Lady Gautier. I would give my life for your son.”

“Thank you,” she said. “I suppose you don’t come just to say goodbye… Especially because you didn’t six years ago.”

“How I was supposed to tell to father I betrayed the Kingdom? You know what he would have done… No,” he whispered. “No, you didn’t know. I can’t even imagine… Can you?” he whispered.

She stayed mute.

“Last time, I didn’t want to come because…” He looked at Felix. “I didn’t know what my future was making me walk toward,” he confessed. “Today… Today, I know I won’t come back here. Not like that. Not to suffer his anger… Today, I came because of this.”

He moved his hand to show the Lance of Ruin he was still holding. Felix approached him. He didn’t touch him but just having him by his side… Just having Felix by his side, Sylvain felt his strength grow. The words he never had been able to say were coming out of his lips. And still, there was this little voice telling him ‘you wouldn’t say it to your father. You’re a coward’.

And it wasn’t that wrong…

“I don’t want it. I never wanted it.” Sylvain stared at the lance. “I wielded it because… “ He pinched his lips. “Because when I removed it from Miklan’s dead hand, I thought I was following my own path. But I always did what father expected to me. I always tried to please him in a way. But I won’t. Fuck his Crest, fuck his Lance of Ruin and fuck his Dominion! Let it die. Give it back to Sreng if you can but he won’t control my life anymore.”

He held out the Lance, presenting it to his mother.

“I will pour a bath for you.” She moved her hand to brush Felix’s cheek. “To both of you. Then you can leave. Never come back… But try not to forget me, Sylvain,” she smiled.

And she closed her hand on the Lance, removing it from Sylvain’s hand. From his life.

Sylvain stared at the bath.

Despite the room being filled with steam, attesting the warmth of the water, everything seemed so cold here.

He felt like a weight had left his shoulders, his heart, and yet… Yet being here, he felt so oppressed.

The bath was only waiting for him, to wash the blood of their friends, of those he would have preferred to hug rather than killing; ready to wash the mud and the sweat but… But he couldn’t. And not only because deep water, even in a bath, was always making him uneasy. Thanks to Miklan, he could barely wash himself unless the water level was so low or Felix was by his side; thanks to Miklan, he panicked when it was too dark around, or too closed around him, unless one tiny hand would gently hold his. But this wasn’t this because he wasn’t alone. Felix was there, having already removed his coat and the little puffy vest alongside his gloves. He couldn’t help staring as Felix untied his hair and he approached him, passing his fingers in them in awe.

Felix looked up at him and then passed his hand around the left armored epaulet to remove it. His fingers quick and steady, betraying how much he was used to do this. Sylvain wanted to stop him but he could only stare, letting him undo the knots of the arms cover. His fingers brushed his muscles through the fabric of his vest. The right elbow protection was removed, falling with the other in a cold and dry sound then the forearm was free from the metal. Felix removed the gauntlet and then the gloves, kissing the sore hand, his lips brushing the fingers so tight for having gripped that damn Lance too often. He glanced at Sylvain and smiled when the hand came along his cheek. Sylvain leaned over him and pressed their forehead together. Felix stole him a very quick kiss and removed the armor from the other arm. When removing the glove, he allowed his fingers to caress the ring, blue and red still intertwined at the testimony of their love… He kissed that finger, that ring and caressed the palm, landing his lips on his sore flesh a million time.

Sylvain watched at him with adoration.

While the last things he heard from Garreg Mach was the fear of so many Monks without a Goddess to adore, Sylvain wasn’t worry. Since his childhood, he had a God to worship and he still couldn’t believe he was allowed to let his hands brush him, his lips discover his skin… The Goddess had always hated him and he stopped praying her so young but this God, his King, his Universe… he could never…

Felix passed his arms around the broad shoulders and undone the discrete knots. He didn’t want to pass on his back and stop seeing his face. His fingers were swift enough to deal with that while feeling the warmth of his forehead pressing on his skin.

As his fingers untied the armor, he could slide them under the metal and remove more knot, gently caressing his spine, making him gently shiver.

Sylvain smiled against his lips and, at the second the armor fell on the floor with a loud sound, he tugged him against his chest and hugged him, joining their lips. Felix replied to the kiss and let him lift him from the floor. He passed his legs around his hips, his arms around his shoulders and his fingers slid in his hair.

“Sylvain…”

“Felix…” He rubbed their nose together. “My treasure… My everything.”

Felix pressed their lips together. He caressed lovingly his throat.

“How do you feel?” he whispered.

“Fine… Fine… I… I would like to do something else.”

“To do something else?” Felix repeated, tightening his arms around him.

“I wanted to give back that Lance, I wanted to start _our_ life. Without Crest, without anything. But now that I am here… I need to reply to some questions… I wonder if I can find the reply to the question in my mind,” Sylvain whispered.

“What is your question?” Felix wondered, frowning.

“Did _he_ love me? Just a little… at some point?”

“Sylvain…”

Sylvain laughed as he gently put him down.

“This is silly, I know. How someone like him could love anyone. How someone like him could love me? Right? How anyone could…”

“Stop this!” Felix said, firmly. “I love you,” he whispered, taking his face in his hands. “I. Love. You. You deserve love and those who don’t are just idiots.” Felix kissed him. “Come with me…”

He took gently his hand then tugged on it, making him come outside of the bathroom. Felix led him to a room that hadn’t been opened since almost ten years. Just once, a few years ago, and since then, it was locked again. Felix had no problem to open the door anyway, as if it had been unlocked, and he gently tugged Sylvain inside.

Sylvain was surprised to find… nothing.

There was a bed with blankets looking very rough. Not much decoration. Just the basic of furniture. A wardrobe, a chest of drawer on which there was belonging he remembered very well because he was wearing that, the day he died… There was the armor on a mannequin and it was still dirty. But there was also this vest on the chest of drawer, just next a big chandelier. Everything was covered with dusts. Some spiders were running around and you could see webs everywhere.

“It is so tiny…” Sylvain said.

He touched the vest then moved to the bed, brushing the wooden frame.

“Your room was his room before. The Gautier Dominion was so tiny, the friendship with Uncle Lambert so special, it was fine for him not having a Crest. Until you came to live. Well… that’s what Glenn told me,” Felix whispered, looking away. “Lucas threw him here after… And to reply to your question, the first months, he loved you. For three years… he was carrying you around everywhere. I’m sorry you don’t remember it. I’m sorry you haven’t felt this bliss of having a big brother to care for you, to love you as you deserved it. But you have been loved. And I love you. I will love you for everyone that is dumb idiot not to love you.”

“I’m blessed to have you,” Sylvain whispered.

He grabbed his hand, tugging him toward him, pressing their forehead together. He caressed his cheek, slowly brushing his lips with his.

“We shouldn’t do that in his room… Let’s go back to the bathroom… and we need to have this bath,” Felix said.

“Who knows when we will be able to have another one,” Sylvain smiled.

Felix nodded and he stepped toward the door, holding his husband’s hand. Which followed him but tugged on his hand to stay a little more in this room. How was it possible he never noticed this? At some point of his life, he had tried to search in his brother the protection he needed, the protection Glenn would always provide to him and to Felix. But Miklan was so bitter and he had tried to kill him so often that, slowly, he just closed on himself, believed he deserved all of this. If he suffered from Miklan’s side, if his father hated him that much, if the girls requested his attention but attacked him as soon as he showed he didn’t want it, if he didn’t received the love he asked to everybody then it meant _he_ was the problem. He deserved being hated.

And at some point, he just started to be okay with it…

And at some point, he just started to believe it was the way people might show him interest? After all, his father expected a lot from him and lead so much hope within him; after all Miklan never killed him actually and he was still convinced that, if he really had wanted it, he would have done it yet; after all, Ingrid always insulted him and tugged so harshly on his ear; after all… the love of his life had a sharp tongue and might push him away, insult him but truly inside, loved him deeply…

So… how not hoping that all this hate wasn’t a kind of love? How not dreaming he was secretly loved…

“Sylvain? Is it something wrong?”

“What will we do? We go across the World but what? You’re a good hunter, we can survive like that easily, we can live outside, in the caves we’ll found or just be under the stars… But what if sometimes, we can’t?” Sylvain wondered.

“I don’t know,” Felix said. “Perhaps we can make money for the hard time, for when we can’t hunt or it’s too cold to stay outside?”

“How?” Sylvain wondered. “At some point I thought we should go to I don’t know… Brigid when we reach the cold time? But I’m not sure it’s the solution neither…”

“It can be a solution but it’s oversea so we need money.”

“Chivalry and Knighthood never have been for you, isn’t it?” Sylvain whispered.

“There was a time… it was my dream,” Felix said under his breath. “I wanted to be like father.” He let out a laugh full of disdain. “I wanted to be like Glenn. But he died… and I understood this was all shit. How this thing could be good if it took my brother away from me…”

Sylvain caressed some loosen strand of dark blue hair.

He knew it.

He pressed a kiss on his cheek.

He sadly knew it…

“What I mean is… I know you will get bored if you do nothing. I know you’re always like ‘I need to fight’ and…”

And he knew why. Felix tried to numb his mind by swirling, dancing with his blade…

He had let go of his lover’s hand, moving toward the chest of drawers.

“What’s in your mind?” Felix asked, crossing his arms.

“What about this?” he asked, pressing his fingers on the vest.

“Pillaging?” the Fraldarius let out. “Robbing people? I’m against Chivalry and I’m always up to piss off my father but isn’t it a too big contrast?”

“I don’t think I want to be a bandit, you, in contrary, you’re pretty good at it.”

“Me,” Felix smirked.

“Yes because…” Sylvain, holding the coat against his chest, took Felix’s hand, kissing it gently. “You stole my heart,” he winked.

“Idiot,” Felix snickered.

Sylvain kissed him on the nose, caressing his cheek.

“You always had been fascinated by the Teacher’s course. Mercenary… does it look interesting for you?”

Felix tugged him outside the room and pressed a finger on his red lips adorned with a light shade of lipstick.

“You are doing way too much for me. Think about yourself.”

“I might be a bit selfish because your happiness make me in bliss,” Sylvain smiled.

He lifted him and made him swirl in his arms.

“Sylvain!” Felix protested, closing his arms around his shoulders with a laugh.

“Felix!” he smiled. “And now… we go wash ourselves, isn’t it?”

Three years and half later

“Sylvain!!!”

Water splashed all around and Sylvain let out a groan.

“Idiot!” Felix said.

The water was turning dark as Felix’s long hair spread in the hot water. And the fact that his dark make up was diluting there didn’t help neither. But Sylvain said nothing. Dark water would anguish him in general but not today. Not when he was with his Felix… In that surface, he could easily see himself, the face constantly unshaved, the crazy strands because he could only shave and cut his hair with a knife when he got time. In contrary, Felix didn’t cut his hair at all, because he wanted to give back to Sylvain every love and attention he held for him. And he knew how much he loved long hair…

Felix passed his arms around Sylvain, snuggling in his arms and pressing kisses on his rough cheeks.

“I’m always an idiot with you. But at least, I’m your idiot!” he smiled.

“Yeah.” Felix kept kissing his cheeks. “You’re my idiot and I love you so much,” he whispered against his lips.

“Thank you for sticking with me,” Sylvain whispered at his ear.

He felt so well with him.

Whatever if the weather was clement or rough, whatever if they needed each other to stay warm; whatever if they were sleeping with the stars as witness or with a roof above their heads…

Three years and half later… No, Almost ten years later… No! Twenty-six years later they still loved each other. They still needed each other to be happy. And together, they could overcome any obstacles, any ordeal on their lives…


	3. Chapter 02: The Whisper of the Wind

“Sylvain! Stop it!”

Even though he was laughing, Felix tried to push away Sylvain who had his arm around Felix’s thin waist and landed kisses all over the pale face, scraping Felix’s cheeks with his unshaved face. Sylvain wanted to tease him more and he could have because he knew, if Felix would really have desired it, his husband would have knocked him down Dumbass. Especially since Sylvain had to bow so much to hug him that way.

But he complied.

Of course he did.

He let his fingertips brush Felix’s cheek but forced himself, with great regret, to sit correctly on Dumbass’ saddle.

Of course Felix wanted him to stop: the outline of the town was already drawing in the horizon and they would be within it in a couple of seconds.

Despite their love, despite almost ten years of marriage, Felix was still uneasy to display any kind of affection around people. He looked vibrant of laugh, so full of love Sylvain was barely able to handle it without blushing or wanting to kiss him all over his soft skin… but they were in public so he would never dare a caress, never a hug or a kiss…

“You are insufferable, Sylvain.”

“But that’s how you love me,” he smiled.

“Hm…” Felix groaned back.

Sylvain held out his hand to gently tug on Lobelia’s reins and made sure she wouldn’t leave the path. Felix threw him a knowing look, squinting, because in three years and half, Felix was still such a pitiful cavalier. To be honest, most of the time, they were both riding Dumbass, Felix snuggled between Sylvain’s arms while they rode. Lobelia was dashing behind and when she hadn’t a weight on her back, even though it was as light as Felix’s, it was easier for her to follow the rhythm of the huge horse who had no problem to carry two people at once.

But they were entering in the town and Sylvain had helped Felix to get on Lobelia’s back a few kilometers away…

It was over of their contact.

Not that it didn’t happen often: after all, sometimes they had to go on foot and while Felix was tinier than him, he always had been faster and Sylvain couldn’t expect holding his hand. But on the other hand… he didn’t have to crave love with Felix. Felix might be cold and distant in public, or very good to share food or hold hand but he would always snuggle in his arms to sleep at night.

And this…

This was the blessing of his life.

Sylvain still wondering how someone like him, raised by a father who only loved his Crest; disdained by a brother who only hated his Crest; and supporting the obliviousness of his mother who tried her best; how someone like him could be loved by Felix. How someone like him could deserve the pure love of anyone, of an Angel.

Probably an Angel of Death according to his abilities to slay down any enemy. But an Angel anyway.

They approached the town quickly.

“Do we stay in town tonight?”

They had taken a room in an inn in the other side of the country almost one week ago and they could have washed correctly, enjoyed a warm and correctly cook meal. They weren’t bad at cooking but for Felix, cooking was throwing meat in the fire and vegetables in a pot with some starchy food if they had managed to get some. If Sylvain let him cook, they would have stew every day at every meal. But they hadn’t really much provision to eat correctly. Sylvain wasn’t cooking way better and even if he tried, he wasn’t sure he would be able to.

Honestly, stew was a good way to have correct meal and be able to stand their hermit life, to stand their wanderers life…

And, well, according to Sylvain ‘it’s was still better than Faerghus food’.

“Do you want to stay in town?” Felix asked.

“Do we have money for that?”

Honestly, none of them needed good bed and luxury. They had known that for so long… But they also knew the worst, both of them having known the bite of the frozen mountains of Faerghus.

And more.

“We need to buy some blankets, vegetables and rice,” Felix stated, “but I think we can allow a bed to ourselves.”

“We need a bit of food for those brave steeds,” Sylvain reminded, caressing Dumbass’ mane.

“It was counted in the vegetables,” his husband replied. “If you want a good night in an inn, let’s go.”

“I especially want you to rest yourself.”

Felix smirked at him.

As if it will change something. No matter if they slept outside, with the veil of night for roof or if they were rolling in warm blankets, he would always keep an eye open and be ready to jump on anyone risking endangering the life of his Sylvain.

Felix always slept with a knife under his pillow, one at his thigh and sometimes with a knife in the hand. That wasn’t the most efficient for cuddling but dear Sothis, Sylvain loved him so much.

Though, he really hoped Felix could rest correctly.

Just one day.

Sylvain had the feeling in place of those wrinkles his father had earned with the years, Felix was just growing dark circle. Yes, he was wearing a very dark and spread make up that allowed him to vanish in the blackness, being just a shadow, the extend of Death’s hand but Sylvain knew, once the make up removed, his eyes still seemed to be adorned with it.

He just wanted him to rest.

Sadly, Felix trusted no one but his husband.

He would always stay on his guards.

You never knew…

They entered the town with the sound of the hooves echoing around them. Sylvain pressed his heels on Dumbass’ side, making him walk in front of Lobelia, not only taking less place in those streets falling into disrepair but also taking the lead. Lobelia would follow. Sylvain felt bitter when they rode across the houses about to fall in dust; amongst the stall made with different board of wood, some even seeming to come from the house themselves…

“Do we have lot of money left?” he asked.

Felix didn’t reply, his hands on the reins.

Sylvain frowned and turned his head toward him.

“Fe’?”

Felix looked up at him, looking befuddled.

“You alright, Fe’?”

Felix nodded slightly and his hands closed a bit more on the reins. “We have lot of money. Why? You want to do it free again?” he asked.

“Yes,” Sylvain replied, still worried for him.

“Fine. I’ll hunt tomorrow. We will have to dry the food if we want to spend winter,” he warned anyway.

Sylvain nodded. “We just can’t take their money…”

Felix approved with a movement of the chin. He wouldn’t talk back. It had needed so much time to Sylvain to affirm what he wanted instead of just following Felix’s decision that his husband refused none to little things.

If it was silly, if it was impossible, or anything with sex, he would say ‘no’. Sylvain might insist if that was something ‘impossible’ because he thought ‘impossible’ wasn’t a word in his vocabulary. Especially when it came to something he could do to please Felix…

For him… he would take the stars out of the sky; he would make the time stop; he would change the Fate and make sure that Felix was happy, eased… For him, he would make the impossible possible…

“Though…” Felix said.

“Yeah?” he asked, looking above his shoulder.

“We are here since three years now and they still suffer from that War that occurred three centuries earlier… I don’t mind working for them without receiving money from it. There is still plenty of Noble we can offer our services to if needed. But I wondered…”

“If Fódlan is still suffering the impact of the War?” Sylvain completed.

He knew him more than no one.

He knew him by heart.

“Yes…” Felix said under his breath. “That’s stupid. Isn’t it an inn there?” he asked, to change the discussion.

“It looks like… ready for another night under the sky?” he smirked.

Indeed the inn had an old sign telling what it was and it was the only thing that could allow you to know it because though it was a big building, half of a wall had fallen, just a sheet covering it; the roof was half-destroyed; one door was missing…

“Always if it’s with you,” Felix said. “But… we should leave Mach,” he pursued. “I don’t know where to go but… this World of ruin…”

“We can leave,” Sylvain replied. “We can go to Brigid? Going to say ‘hi’ to Petra? Finding someone who would hire us…”

“Brigid?” Felix repeated. “Yes, of course. There, anywhere… as long as you’re here,” he whispered.

Sylvain looked at him.

He hadn’t heard what he said after ‘of course’ and wondered what the sound of the hooves had covered…

But he didn’t insist.

He would never.

He knew Felix sometimes needed to say things not those things to be actually heard. It was more… letting his heart talk while fearing what it might brought.

It was fine.

He loved him for that too.

For his insecurities and for his strength; for his doubts and for his certitudes; for his fear and for his courage. He loved him.

Wholly.

Since that day when Glenn Victor Fraldarius knelt and introduced his baby brother to him…

Just in front of the inn, Sylvain came down the big horse, caressed the rump and made sure Dumbass would be installed at the shadow and be able to move freely. Then, he turned toward Lobelia. Toward Felix.

Who didn’t move at all.

“Eh, Fe’?” he asked, approaching him.

He saw the hands so tightened around the reins. Slightly shaking.

“Fe’!” Sylvain called. “FELIX!?”

Felix turned his head toward him, shaking.

“Syl… Sylvain. We are arrived?” he whispered, befuddled again.

“Yeah…”

Sylvain moved toward him and passed his arms around his waist. He only closed them when Felix slightly nodded and then he brought his leg on the other side of the mare, letting his husband helping him to come down the horse.

“Are you sure it’s fi…”

“I’m fine,” Felix replied, pressing his hand on the broad pectoral to force him away.

Sylvain didn’t resist but immediately followed him inside the inn, letting Lobelia freely move. Inside the inn, there was no sound. No one, just dusted tables with chairs turned on the round surface and, in a corner, in front of a door, a very old counter with splinters appearing here and there.

All things considered, Sylvain wondered if the building was truly open…

He looked at Felix then walked to the counter.

“Excuse me? Is there anybody here?”

Felix approached the counter as well. He looked at the door that opened on an old man who groaned and nodded to them.

“Sirs,” he said.

“Sylvain…” Felix whispered.

“What can I do for you?” the landlord pursued.

Sylvain turned his head toward Felix who closed his hands on his ears.

“Felix!”

Without thinking a second, Sylvain grabbed him in his arms and brought him against his chest, pressing a kiss on his temple. No, not _one_ kiss. A million kisses. A million kisses as soft as the breeze, as warm as the Valley of Torment…

“Er…” the man said behind his counter. “You wanted something?”

Sylvain had completely forgotten about him and, honestly, it was hard to even care about him when Felix was shivering in his arms. Sylvain moved his hands, pressing them over Felix’s. He felt his husband’s pinkies passing above his fingers while the pale face was pressing against his broad chest, hiding himself to the dusty air of the inn.

“Sir… not that I’m busy…”

Busy for what?

Sylvain gently rocked Felix in his arms, only to feel him tense more. He pressed a kiss in the long dark blue mane.

“We wanted one room, please,” he replied to the landlord.

He took the little purse at his belt and threw it on the counter, spreading the golden coin all over the counter.

Since he had moved his hand, he felt Felix shiver even more and he swept him from his feet. Instinctively, Felix pressed his head, his ear, against his husband’s shoulder, passing one arm around the wide shoulders, his hand tightening around one of them. And he hid his head in freckled neck as well…

“Everything is fine, Fe’, my Felix,” he whispered in the hook of his ear. “You’re with me, all his fine. I’m taking care of you. I love you. I love you so much.” He turned his head toward the man. “Where the room, where the key?”

“No key.”

Perfect, Felix will probably make appear a fourth knife by magic to protect them.

No key…

“Take the room you want upstairs. There is no other customer.”

The man shrugged.

Sylvain smirked.

He knew the situation of Mach, he knew the situation of most of the towns here. Either they were able to reconstruct and it was flourishing or it was towns crashing under the weight of the past violence. They were dealing with that and he understood but at this exact moment he was a bit annoyed.

Very annoyed.

But as long as he could take care of Felix…

Holding him in his arms, he moved to the stairs and quickly climbed them. Each step moaned under his weight, splinters falling… He was almost sure he will pass through it but he kept moving to the upper level. Still holding him, he walked to the closest room, still having that certitude the wood would be unable to handle his weigh…

He leaned Felix on the mattress with much care, even though it was covered with dirty and dusty grey blankets. Pretty light…

“Felix…”

He saw the look on his face.

What could he do?

It happened so often but usually…

Sylvain closed his hand on the sheets, feeling so helpless…

Felix hiccupped, pressing his hands on his ears, closing his eyes. Sylvain leaned over him, kissing his forehead.

“Felix… Felix, focus on me… I’m here, I will love you no matter what.”

“I… I know… but…” Felix hiccupped under his breath.

Sylvain lied next to him despite the horrendous stench coming from the bed and he grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him in his embrace. He pressed another millions kisses on his face, in his hair…

“My Felix… I love you so much. My Felix… it doesn’t matter… Their words have no sense… Their words are empty. I know your true self…”

“I know but…” Felix seemed to fight. “If you knew…”

“I don’t know,” Sylvain approved. “Where is Glenn?”

“Gone!” Felix hiccupped. “I just… I just want this to stop…” he whispered.

“Miklan,” Sylvain groaned between his teeth. “Do something!!!”

“He tries…” he said under his breath, through his tears. “He really tries… He said he isn’t made to protect…”

“Fuck!” Sylvain groaned.

It wasn’t the time to have an argument with the man, with the ghost of his brother… He wanted to take care of Felix. He had to do something… He had to do something against the ghosts surrounding him.

Sometimes…

Sometimes, Felix would wake up in the middle of the night, in panic, because his hands were tainted by blood, because he was seeing people already dead, because… Because he was just like the Boar he was so afraid. He became his worst nightmare. Even if he tried to avoid spreading it, he was calling blood with his blood. Sometimes he would yell, panic or puke because the memories of the first War he saw, added to the one he had to live, were swirling into him and his reality was switched away. And he saw ghosts…

Not in the same way, thought…

Glenn never left his side, except sometimes like now, he still could see some people he had cherished, he could see Miklan and, of course… he was seeing his comrades he betrayed… And his father…

For some reason, he never saw his mother.

Did she just run away or there was something else beyond that veil of death?

He didn’t know.

All Sylvain knew was that… Glenn was away… and Felix heard them, he saw them… His father, Ingrid, Dimitri…

“Please, Rodrigue! Uncle Rodrigue, I beg you!” Sylvain said to the void. “Leave him alone! Would you let him be like that?”

Felix shivered in Sylvain’s arms. He didn’t want to ear, he didn’t want to see.

He had tried to hide this secret for so long because he was afraid… When it was just Glenn, it was easy. When Miklan came, it became harder but Glenn could calm him and Miklan stopped to torment him to reach Sylvain after a few months… But when they started to kill their beloved… It was impossible to hide.

When for the first time, Glenn couldn’t protect him; when for the first time, Felix had yelled that strong because of the poison burning him from inside, he had to confess his secret to Sylvain, to his husband, hoping he would understand. Hoping he wouldn’t abandon him…

And… gladly, Sylvain never did…

“Are you proud of what you’re doing to your own son?! Is it what you want?! Ingrid! He is your best friend! Your childhood friend! You are supposed to love him not hurt him! Dimitri! I know you’re still a good man deep inside! How could you do that to Felix? I know he used to be so harsh with you but he doesn’t deserve this!!” Sylvain clenched his teeth and the muscles of his arms, hugging Felix closer, caressing his long hair with a hand so soft in comparison. “If you continue… If you keep hurting him like that… That would just mean we made the right decision since the beginning!” Sylvain roared.

Felix pressed his hand on Sylvain’s chest. He couldn’t push away the image. He couldn’t even try to breathe or train or anything else because… how would you be able to black out something that had their own will?

“Sylvain…”

“Yes?” he eagerly asked.

“Can you smile?”

“Smile?” Sylvain repeated, dumbfounded.

Felix nodded. “Please, can you smile?”

How the hell he wanted him to smile in such a situation? But he would make the impossible possible for him, right? He pressed their forehead together, cupping his thin and pale cheek with his free hand, covering his ear. And smiled to him. Probably not the purest and most beautiful smile he could have because those were only existing for their happy moment but he was so used to fake smiling… Fake smiling for Felix was so weird. An affront…

Felix’s fingertips brushed his husband’s cheek covered with stubble with a shiver and barely smiled back to him.

“Thank you…”

“You’re welcome… Is it fine?” Sylvain whispered.

Felix nodded slightly. “I just want to look at you. I want you to be the only thing, in front of my eyes, in my life…”

Sylvain smiled a bit more but still painfully and he leaned toward him to kiss his temple, caressing his hair.

He couldn’t help thinking it was a bit ironic how tensed Felix could be to show his feeling in public, _when they arrived in town_ , but… weren’t they always in public in a way?

Sylvain didn’t judge.

He didn’t ask.

He just accepted him as he was. He just found that really funny. Where was he drawing the line exactly?

“I will be there, Fe’… I will always be there…”


	4. The one holding his heart

Emotionally, Felix must be really tired because he fell asleep in Sylvain’s arms. And this despite the awful smell around and the cracks you couldn’t stop hearing, as if the inn was about to crumple on itself. It was pretty cold here and Sylvain knew they certainly wouldn’t have a warm meal or somewhere to wash themselves.

But Felix was sleeping…

So it was a good thing anyway.

He didn’t dare to move, didn’t dare to remove his hand, afraid Felix would wake up if he allowed them to reach him.

He just wanted to protect him from his inner demons.

From the demons surrounding him.

From everything…

Sylvain couldn’t sleep.

He watched him. He watched his sleep… He had to be there for him. He had to be his protector, his shield… probably to thanks him for being his beacon through his own darkness…

As he gently looked at him, he felt something cold ruffling his hair.

“Glenn…” he whispered. “Glenn? Is that you?”

The cold passed in his hair again. Gentle and tender.

“I’m glad you’re here. Felix has suffered a… how you’d say that? A crisis? Have you managed to get them leave or something? Wait… is this Miklan?”

Again this gentle cold, a bit weaker.

“No matter whom it is, it’s fine… You don’t have to make effort for me, you know.”

He felt the coldness on the tip of his nose.

Glenn.

“Okay… I will sleep with Fe’…”

Sylvain closed his eyes, hugging tenderly Felix, rubbing softly his back and he smiled when he felt him snuggling in his arms.

He could rest now.

They could rest.

And it remained this knife under the pillow anyway…

When he woke up in the middle of this pestilence, Sylvain groaned.

He wanted to be away from here. This must be the worst inn they never have been in!

With his hand, he searched the warm body he loved so much… But there was no warm body… He forced himself to open his eyes and was immediately harassed by the heavy light. How was it possible knowing how dusty and dirty where the windows?! You would expect them to work as natural curtains…

He noticed Felix, checking their bag and what they had inside of it while talking in a low voice. He had still some make up on his face. He had tried to wipe some away and it just looked like he had fallen in a very dark mud puddle. He looked at him and thought about those six years they have passed together, married, happy but facing the War, chaos, flames, tragedy… For six years, for almost seven years in fact, he didn’t know about Glenn’s presence. How often Felix had to hide this… a moment with Glenn.

He loved his brother so much.

He could have him again thanks to this morbid power but he had to hide it, to repress this joy because of him…

“Hi, mon amour…”

Felix got a little jolt and turned his head toward Sylvain. He walked toward him and sat at the edge of the mattress, making jump dust in the air.

“Hi,” he whispered, kissing gently his lips.

“You’re beautiful, like always.”

“Stop saying stupidities.”

Felix got up and went back to the bag and finish to prepare everything.

“That’s not stupidities! You are still the one I find the most beautiful. At any moment.”

“Yes, yes,” Felix replied. “Everything is ready. When you’re good, we can leave.”

“Yeah. Is there any restroom here?” Sylvain groaned.

“No. Just pee outside before we leave.”

“You’re still so adorable. We live in the woods so _this_ wasn’t the problem. Not as if I wasn’t used to,” he laughed.

“Oh…” Felix let out. “Well… Keep the room a bit more and I will prepare the horses.” He approached him again and cupped his face, caressing it with his thumb through his mittens. “Then we will have to talk.”

“You wanna break up?” he gasped.

“Very funny,” Felix smirked. He leaned and kissed tenderly his lips. “Here, to think about me…”

“I always think about you…”

“I know. Sorry not to be able to give you more.”

“You’re giving me everything I can wish for. That’s why you will always be my most beautiful, my most tender fantasy and I don’t need more… Because I want your happiness and I have enough with your contact, your smile… seeing you.”

“I love you…” Felix whispered. “I always loved you and I always wanted the most… The only one I can trust. My true love…”

He caressed his cheek and passed his arms around him to gently kiss his lips. Sylvain hugged him, pressing their forehead together.

And he still couldn’t believe he had him in his arms.

He was married to him.

He deserved his love?

He heard Felix’s voice echoing into him.

He deserved his love!

“Dumbass, come here!”

Felix pressed his head against a wooden pillar and was sure this one was about to just… crumple and bring the whole inn with it.

“Felix, I’m sorry…”

Felix turned his head toward Glenn, standing at a few pace from him.

“Sorry for what?” Felix asked under his breath. “It’s fine… We wanted to leave anyway.”

“But you should take your own decision…”

“I am. And if Sylvain refuses to go back to Fódlan, it would be my decision. Even if you expect me to go back there…”

Glenn nodded.

Felix was surprised because of the sadness he could see in his eyes.

What was happening?

“Glenn…”

His brother shook his head and moved his hands to cup his cheeks. It was so cold, always so cold and Felix had to fight against his shivers.

“It’s fine. I will protect you, every day, every second, no matter what. This is your life and I expect you to live it as you want and not as someone else want it. I never want to see you follow the orders and the decisions of someone else. Except your husband, as long as it’s shared opinion, of course,” Glenn said.

“Of course,” Felix replied. “Thank you…”

He folded his arms, gently pressing his fingers around the vest Sylvain gave him. So warm… Not only his body but his heart as well…

“Thank to you for considering…”

“Here, Felix,” a grave voice echoed.

Felix turned his head toward the big black horse with a red mane. On his side, there was the hand of Miklan, leading him back.

“I don’t know why this horse hates me,” Felix groaned. “Those horses,” he added glancing at Lobelia who was standing a few paces away, eating grass.

And refusing to have the saddle on.

She was showing a very good behavior as soon as Sylvain was around and he could mount her easily but he still was feeling way better when he could be in Dumbass with Sylvain, honestly.

“Dumbass doesn’t hate you. He is just hard to tame,” Miklan replied.

“He hated me too,” Glenn smiled.

“Dumbass didn’t hate you!” Miklan protested.

Glenn smirked back and turned his head to the entry when they heard the inn’s door whining. Definitely… this building was just about to collapse and they better be all very away from here when it will happen.

“Sorry for having making you wait,” Sylvain said.

“It’s fine… not like I was alone anyway…” Felix said under his breath.

Sylvain approached him to brush his cheek. He wouldn’t do more. They were in a city and he didn’t want Felix to suffer from his boundaries being crossed…

“I… Glenn would like us to come back to Fódlan,” Felix announced.

He was talking under his breath, under the whisper of the wind…

“Fódlan?”

Felix nodded.

“He says… there is something happening within Adrestia. He was…” Felix looked at Glenn. “He didn’t tell me everything and I think the situation is off-hand even for him or he would have told me more. Honestly… I don’t want to have anything to do with Adrestia after everything that happened… I had to step away from the Boar, from my father and I don’t know if we did the correct thing. We joined the Empire because the professor was there and she asked me a few times to join me. But should we have gone with Claude? Should we have just… run away? I think about it all the time… And now, there is something happening in Adrestia?”

“Something?”

“He doesn’t know more. But… Edelgard is probably not in Enbarr… and he doesn’t know where she is. He said… perhaps Fódlan isn’t in danger. But he highly doubt about it. He said it wasn’t our duty to fix this problem. To fix something very personal for him on the same time, but he is my brother and I love him. However… you are in right to say ‘no’ and we continue to do what we want. I just see it as another mercenary job… Except, it’s not paid.”

“Glenn protected you when you were a baby. He is protecting you now from the ghosts you fear while I can’t do anything…”

“It’s wrong. You do so much. yesterday, it was you and only you.”

“Yes… I’m glad to be a bit useful,” Sylvain whispered, looking down. “But he is always protecting you… And… I owe him so much. He protected me too… I could bear the fact Miklan was around too because he was there. I have a life debt to Glenn… I won’t say ‘no’. Anyway… it doesn’t matter where we are. As long as we are together…”

Felix looked down. His heart was racing.

He tried not to show it but it was hard… They were in town… he couldn’t throw himself at his neck and tell him how much he loved him…

There were no one in the streets but the windows were there…

He approached Sylvain and this one smiled, whistling Dumbass. The horse was so big… you couldn’t see anything when he was there, between them. Between the World and them. Felix passed his arms around his broad shoulders, linking his wrists and kissing him tenderly. Sylvain hugged him, feeling his warmth, feeling his passion… knowing every of his secrets but loving feeling them again… The knife at his thigh, the little hollow at the bottom of his back, that little bump above the left shoulder, the scars dancing on his skins, those he could feel and those he couldn’t… The Fraldarius Crest around the navel; the scars on his arms looking like lightning because he used too much magic…

He knew everything.

But he loved discovering it again and again, and again…

And he loved having him against him.

“But…” Sylvain asked against his lips. 

“Yes?”

Felix tugged on his collar to kiss him. He couldn’t have enough of him. And sometimes, he wondered if it wasn’t selfish to ask him to follow his boundaries for kisses, hugs and… not giving him more. He didn’t want to force himself for anything and Sylvain had always been comprehensive what making him love Sylvain even more.

But he was afraid.

So afraid that, one day, he would have enough of it…

“Do we have enough money to cross the Ocean? How long will be the journey? I don’t remember…”

“I think we have enough money,” Felix replied, pulled away to walk toward Lobelia and the bags he had tied there. “And we needed something like three weeks to cross the Ocean two years ago…”

But it wasn’t to go to Mach. They went to Brigid first, with Petra. They had met her by hazard at a hunting festival where they hoped winning a prize and have enough money and meat beside the mercenary work they were doing. She had offered to them to follow her and they took the royal boat with her. They stayed a few months in Brigid, and also a few months in Dagda. Then, life pushed them toward Mach and its desolation.

And now…

Now they were going back to Fódlan.

“Is it fine?” he asked to Glenn.

“I can’t ask you to go faster so, yes…It’s fine,” Glenn said.

“Me or?” Sylvain wondered.

“Sorry, not you.”

“’kay…” Sylvain watched him as he was ruffling through the bags to find the one with gold inside of it. “Say, I had a question?”

“Yes?”

“Is it your reply?” Sylvain smirked.

“I have a knife at my thigh. Do you want to taste it?”

“I know you wouldn’t,” he laughed as he approached Felix. “I just wanted to know if it was Glenn who caressed my hair yesterday. I’m almost sure it was him but…”

Felix nodded after having heard his brother replying ‘yes’.

“And he says that he gives ‘a kiss on your prickly cheeks for your care, tenderness and everything’.”

“Aaaaaaw!” Sylvain smiled.

“Tell him I kiss him too!” Miklan said.

“Uh… Miklan kiss you too.”

Felix handed him the bag with money in it.

“Oh…”

Sylvain closed his hand on the dark fabric. It still felt weird because… through that death, they tried to bond, they tried to find back what they couldn’t when they were both alive… Miklan had understood his past and what was worming his way in his guts, what was destroying him… They tried to work through their issues, to fill the void Miklan and his hatred had created but since they could only talk through Felix, it was hard…

“I… yeah, I kiss him back? I kiss them back…”

Sylvain got a hiccup when he felt something _so cold_ around him.

“It’s Glenn,” Felix said. “He is hugging you.”

He bit his lower lip and smiled lightly when Sylvain glanced at him. He was tensed and Felix felt bad for him. What could he say? Obviously, Sylvain saw nothing and could only be overwhelmed by all those ghost-things, even when he was doing his best to process everything.

And honestly… he was doing so well…

Sylvain tried to pat the air and then moved away, looking in the bag. He started to look how much they had. He knew they had enough to live through the Winter of Mach but would they be able to come back to Fódlan. To cross this Winter?

Sylvain wasn’t ready for that.

But he had never been ready for the heat of those Islands.

It was really… too much for him.

He didn’t know what he wanted, frankly. So being by Felix’s side was enough.

“I think we will have enough…” Sylvain said, counting the coin. “I don’t know how we will survive on the other side, though, because it might ask us everything we have.”

“We have a bit of meat, we have blankets… We can hunt and we can take more mercenary work…” Felix pulled backward. “Can you help me?” he asked, showing him Lobelia.

“Sure.”

Sylvain walked toward him and helped him to climb on the saddle. He gave him back the money, knowing it was safer with him even though they were two good fighters. The redhead approached Dumbass to install himself on the back of the big horse. He grabbed the reins and made him move forward. He perfectly knew they would need a good week to reach the shore of the country; the Marina where they could find a boat that would bring them to Fódlan. Perhaps they even could a Noble with money that could hire them for a quick amount of time…

The map in hands, Felix tried to understand it. If he was right, they were hallway from the Ocean. They had only needed two days to do so but they will have to cross a rolling land, come down the paths, cross hills and pass by gravel landscapes. Dumbass would be able to cross that without problem but Lobelia could have more difficulties. And it would bring some inconvenient for the bivouacs. Where to put the fire? The tent? How not to worry for the bandits that could come around and try to slaughter you in your sleep for a few coins. Not that they have only a few coins…

They were working hard to gather this money.

“You are here,” Glenn said, pointing at a point.

“Fraldariuses are that bad with orientation?” Miklan groaned. “You are here! And the shortest path…”

“Have you found or you need help?” Sylvain smiled as he walked toward Felix.

Felix looked up at him and smiled, seeing him half-naked. The heavy and ragged coat resting on Dumbass who ate cold grass by Lobelia’s side.

“I don’t know…” Felix frankly replied.

He usually believed Glenn more than anything but he had to agree with Miklan that if Glenn thought the same as him in a matter of orientation, he was certainly mistaking himself.

“Are we here or here?” he asked.

Sylvain passed behind him, embracing him with his strong arms covered with freckles and moved his fingers, as well peppered with freckles, above the map.

“Here,” Sylvain said, showing the second proposition.

Miklan’s proposition.

“So now, we should go there?” Felix asked, following a path coming through the mountain.

“Y… Yeah. You’re becoming good at that!” Sylvain congratulated.

“Well…” his husband whispered, gently brushing the fingers.

Fingers that intertwined with his.

“What?” Sylvain smiled, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“That’s what Miklan said.”

“Oh… Nice one, Miklan. That road looks very good,” Sylvain pursued. “I will trust him for the itinerary!” he smiled.

“Very well,” Felix replied.

“Thank you,” Miklan said.

“He said ‘thank you’.”

“You’re welcome! Fe’…”

“Yes?” he asked, folding the map.

“Can you come with me?”

“Yes but why?”

“Because the river is deeper and faster than I thought…”

Felix moved his hand to caress his cheek, the tiny hair rubbing his palm and giving him a feeling of warmth.

“You should have said it immediately…”

“You were all busy with the map. Waiting isn’t the worst, you know. Especially for you.”

Felix frowned. “But are you feeling alright?” he asked.

“Yes, don’t worry.”

“I will worry. It’s not the moment neither to catch a cold.”

“Ah! But the water is sooo cold! I got the time to splash myself a bit and brr!!!”

Felix nodded. When his husband approached him, he was enthralled, captivated by those droplets. The droplets that were allowed to run through the muscles that were now tenderly pressed against his back.

And as he was thinking about this lucky water, he couldn’t help hearing Ingrid’s voice. Not the real Ingrid because Glenn would make sure she wouldn’t disturb him but when they were still friends…

How could he…? How could he find Sylvain so attractive and seductive but not wanting _more_ than hearing his heart beating against his chest, that smelling his perfume, not matter if he get the chance to have a bath or not.

Sometimes, he wondered too…

He followed Sylvain to the river and when they arrived by its side, he started to remove his clothes while his husband stared at the water as if it was made with a corrosive liquid.

“Sylvain… Looking at you, I was wondering…”

“How can someone be that beautiful and perfect?” Sylvain smiled.

“Yes, that too,” Felix replied with a slight smile. “But especially… Don’t you regret?”

“Leaving Fódlan? Well…”

“Being in love with me,” Felix cut short. “Always seeing me… sometimes like that, not wearing anything, and knowing… you won’t have more.”

“As you said, I _love_ you. Of course, I desire you too but what do you want me to do? Force you? Take what I want even if you say ‘no’? If you love someone… fuck! If you’re a decent Human, you don’t do that! I will never touch you against your will! I will never touch you if you don’t give me a clear ‘yes’… and I will not even touch you if I know you don’t want to give it to me but you’re afraid I’d leave or I don’t know… I love you, Felix. For who you are. Not for the opportunity of having sex with you? I…” Sylvain approached him. “I don’t even understand you worries,” he confessed. “Because I love you and I don’t understand why you’d think I could make a mistake by loving you…” His fingers brushed his cheek, gently moving to his hair to remove the deadly weapon that was holding the very long mane in a thick bun. Removing it, he released a beautiful fall, way more beautiful than the waterfall a bit above the river… “If the question is ‘do you desire me’ then the reply is ‘yes’, without hesitation. But if the question is ‘do you regret to love me?’ or ‘do I have to fear your desire?” the answer will always be ‘no’. I love you. _I love you_ , Felix! So much it hurts! I crave you! I craved you so much but… but not sexually. A bit, perhaps, but what I want is your smile, your happiness, your presence… And certainly not hurting you. I have my imagination, my hand to ease that thing… And I will never ask you anything. I want to protect you, not to make you feel unsafe. I want to cherish you… and by that, it also means accept our difference. I love you… and seeing you smiling at me worth everything. Not being able to touch you _that way_ is a very little ‘sacrifice’ if we have to call it that way, in regard of the blessing you offer me every second…”

Felix couldn’t help the feeling of love to seize him and hug him as softly as those warm arms around him.

“I love you, Sylvain…”

He caressed his neck, brushing the jawline.

“But you’re doing so many efforts… You are always doing so many efforts…”

“Aren’t you?” he asked, bringing him against his chest. “Did you want to come take a bath right now?”

“No but I certainly needed it.”

“You never let me have a bath alone because you know how afraid I am, you check place that might be too tiny before I’d go. You make me this…” He moved his hand to show his wrist where there was a little bracelet made of tiny bones were a crystal with a little thunder was sizzling. “… so I will never have to be in the Dark…”

“You have lived trauma,” Felix groaned. “It’s normal to…”

“You have one too. I know how much War had destroyed you… You know how much life had destroyed me.” He bit his lower lip. “How much my parents and Miklan had destroyed me. And you’re there, reminding me _all_ the time that we love each other, that I deserve your love. I love you. I love who you are and I want you to be happy. Safe. You shouldn’t be afraid, shouldn’t worry because you don’t have those desires people think it’s more natural for you to have… They don’t understand you but I do. And when I with you, sometimes, I think you’re the one who is right? Where is the utility in those desires when you really fulfil me with a smile, a laugh, a caress of your hand? I always have thought that way but you make me discover… more. So much more. Yes, I will always have this _unattainable_ desire and I don’t care. You matter more than anything. I will stick with you until you will be bored of me and ask me to leave you alone…”

“Then, I have a bad new for you,” Felix whispered, closing a bit more his arms around his neck. “I will never get bored of you, Sylvain, my dear Husband and only one…” he whispered.


	5. A glimpse from the other side

Three weeks later

The breeze was so cold…

Ah!

You could feel they were going back to Fódlan. The place was so cold… He almost forgot about it but… in fact? He welcomed this coldness. He had lived at the frontier of Sreng, unable to cross the mountain to get back to his homeland, even though… technically, they already were in Sreng? His mother always acted as if, at least. And he truly believed she was right to do so. So for him this coldness was welcome. Better, in fact… And he was so glad to bend by the barrier along the boat bringing them back to the Chaos they had left.

He wondered if it will like Mach, though…

Will they see the scars of what they down furrowing the landscape of Fódlan?

“Eh…Miklan?” he whispered, looking at the cold waves under the boat. “A… are you here?”

Sylvain suddenly felt coldness against his nape, almost making him yell. It sure was Miklan. It was such a dick move!!!! Glenn would never do that!

“Let go! Let go!” The coldness stopped and Sylvain swore he could hear him laugh. “Dumbass!” he let out.

He pressed his elbows on the wood and let out a long sigh.

“How do you feel about going back home?” He closed his hands around the barrier. He listened the sound of the waves, the sound of the silent because of course, he couldn’t hear him. He could just… pretend. “You weren’t even forced to come with us. And I don’t understand why you bothered yourself to follow us here… Perhaps you wanted to leave that Hell, you too? Or perhaps…”

He couldn’t help a light smile. Could he whisper his secret? Wouldn’t he get his hate again? They were starting to go better… they were starting to bond in their very sick way…

He wanted to reach but he was also afraid. So perhaps it was better to talk to someone who couldn’t talk back to him? Couldn’t hurt him… with words or gestures. He looked the vast stretch holding out at his view. Water, waves and sky, keeping away the frightening vision of the banks of Fódlan.

“It’s not your kind to be a coward.”

Sylvain had a jolt and turned toward his dear husband, walking in the cold wind coming from the North.

“I always have been a coward. Who are you married with?” Sylvain smiled.

“Idiot,” Felix sighed, approaching him to snuggle in his arms.

Sylvain sat on the barrier and hugged him dearly, pressed his head on the black hair and a million kisses on his forehead.

“You always have been the most courageous person I ever knew…”

“You say that but I always saw you walk toward danger,” Sylvain replied.

“But I never feared it. I know my strength. There are little fighters that can overcome me. The professor used to but they lost their strength with their Crest and…” Felix looked on the side and Sylvain pressed more kisses on his forehead.

“Glenn was the strongest…”

“I know. But he died.” How weird it was to see him every day. To have started to become older than him. To look like the older brother now… “And this isn’t the question, anyway. What are you fearing?”

“Lot of things,” Sylvain smiled. Sadly. “Losing you, for example.”

He leaned to tenderly kiss him but Felix pressed his finger on his lips.

“Sylvain…” He moved his fingers to caress his cheek. “You know I can talk to deaths?”

“Yes, of course, I kn… oh…”

“Yes,” Felix replied. “Unless you didn’t really wanted to talk to him and then he would be a bit confused but you would earn hugs, at least.”

“And the best hugs,” Sylvain whispered. “… Wait! We are talking about your hugs, right?”

“Yes,” Felix said with a light laugh. He cupped gently his face, love vibrating through him, and he allowed himself to give him _one second_ an eye contact. “In more or less three years, you never really tried to bond with him. Not that I know, not that he told me…”

“I tried…” Sylvain said under his breath. “Not much, I recognize…”

He had tried. A little. Enough to know Miklan was willing to act better; enough to know now that he was dead and _knew_ the suffering he was passing through because of the Crest and their father, having been the testimony of it for almost seven years, Miklan wanted to be more than a persecutor; enough to know he wanted to have with Miklan the same relationship Felix had with Glenn… not that it was really new.

But he never tried to get a conversation.

It was like always.

He hid the truth behind a smile and laugh…

“I’m not forcing you. We’re not forcing you but Miklan thought you really wanted to talk.”

“But if I talk with him, what will you do?”

“The bridge,” Felix replied, surprised. “You can’t hear him? See him?”

Sylvain let a light laugh come from his lips before pressing them against Felix’s forehead.

“I can’t. But you can’t stay there, just doing the parakeet?”

“I can. For you. I can give you kisses and cuddle,” he pursued. He pressed a kiss on his throat. “I’m here for you… you know it, right?”

“You’re always here for me,” Sylvain replied. “I just… don’t like to put the burden I carry on your shoulders…”

Felix shook his head. “You’re not… I married you. Because I love you and because you owe my trust and because I want to help you. You always help me… just by your presence…”

“Your sole presence is the blessing of my life,” Sylvain whispered. “If it wasn’t for you, I would never have left the Well, if it wasn’t for you, I would…”

Sylvain looked away, knowing the violence of his words.

“When Miklan died, I was sad…” Felix said.

Sylvain hiccupped in surprise. “What?”

“I was so sad because I knew I would have to see him. Everyday. Trying to hurt you, telling you bad things… “

“Oh…”

It made more sense.

“I was sad because I couldn’t handle to see more hatred thrown at you. But… you were in shock that day. And I wasn’t the only one to notice it,” he said under his breath.

“You told me he never totally hated me. Not the first three years…” Sylvain bit his lower lip. “ _He_ told it to you, right?”

Felix nodded.

“Why? I want to understand… I want to understand why he always hated me and now… And now…”

He couldn’t move his arms away, couldn’t let go of Felix because he had the feeling he would let go of the reality as well but he could feel the contact of his nape. Not cruel… full of mischief, not of hatred.

It was so… unfair!

“When I turned into a Monster, I couldn’t control myself… It was only pain. Pain. Only pain. And when I died…” He glanced at Glenn as a mocking sound came from his scarred lips. “… first thing I heard was your voice. Calling me ‘my brother’. First thing you did was crying in Felix’s arms! Crying in Felix’s arms… as if you cared for having killed me…” he said under his breath. “Then, without anyone asking you anything, you took care of Dumbass and even of my crew when the moment came. You made sure they wouldn’t be hurt more than reason when Lucas asked you to kill them. You could have! After everything I did to you, after the hatred we poured in Gautier and Fraldarius’ Dominion because I just wanted to piss off Lucas and Rodrigue. The more I saw, the more I realized you were… just an idiot! Damn, Princess! How could you? How could you keep caring that much for an asshole that tried to hurt you?! You had nothing to reach! Who cared if you looked nice, worrying what I’d think if I knew how much Lucas used me?! Do you think I didn’t know? I just wanted a scrap of it… I just wanted a bit of what was supposing to belong to me. I couldn’t believe it was true and I hated you even more! I tried so many things to have you killed in those fucking battle fields. To the point Glenn threatened to throw me in the Void! He would have done it, he would throw his best friend and more in there, for his babies,” Miklan smirked toward Glenn.

“Quit with it! You deserved the Void more than ever! I should have thrown you in there at the second you died!”

“You did it after five minutes,” Miklan said, his smirk growing bigger.

“You deserved it,” Glenn mumbled, looking away.

Miklan, still a feral smile on his lips turned his head toward Sylvain and his expression turned softer.

“I saw what was your life as a Crested idiot… I saw the girls running after you. People blaming you to chase and hurt them when they were coming at you and you were pushing them away. I saw every of them thinking you were hitting on them when you were complimenting them. Even when you had your fucking head in Felix’s lap. I saw… I saw the scars on your body. I know the difference between scars you would have on the battlefield and those you have when an asshole with a Crested ring hit you. I knew his works. I heard you words… And I was one of the only one who could understood it wasn’t your thing to hit on people like they believed it. I thought you had everything I never had. I thought you were loved and I failed protecting you when you came crying in my pants. You begged for my help and I only hurt you more… and you… you kept seeing what were good in me. You are an idiot… The biggest idiot of Fódlan… I know why you don’t want to come back to Fódlan. But don’t worry, Glenn isn’t the only one who can interfere with Living World. I’ll make sure Lucas is dead before he could even touch you. From now on, I’ll protect you, Princess.” He glanced at Glenn and then held out his hand, pressing it on Sylvain’s hair, making it warm and not cold… “I’ll protect you, baby bro’…”

Sylvain had a jolt, a hiccup of surprise and looked at Felix who gently nodded before repeated everything. Alone, he wouldn’t have been able and Glenn made sure to help him say as much as possible from those words Miklan’s heart said. It was important for Sylvain to hear them…

Sylvain couldn’t stop himself from tears as he heard those confessions…

He didn’t want to cry but he could only cry, hearing those words he would have wanted to heard from his brother’s voice.

For so long, he just had wanted to make peace with him, to tell him his suffer, to tell him how he hated his Crest. And Miklan had learned about it. Miklan had forgiven him to be _him_ , to have been granted the Crest he wished… and was ready to protect him?!

He couldn’t dream about that.

It looked so fake…

Felix was gently kissing his face, caressing his cheeks, his flaming hair… and those kisses were keeping him in the reality.

It had to be real…

Yet, it remained hard to believe it.

“Princess,” he let out with a laugh. “That’s cute… You had always so much hatred in your voice when you called me that way…” he said under his breath. “Did he…?” he suddenly added to Felix.

Which his head.

“It was very soft. And you deserve those words… You deserve this kindness.” He looked at him with all the tenderness he owned. “You have always kept such a loving heart despite everything happening to you. I know you hided it to others but never to me. You deserve to receive the love you craved the most…”

“After yours,” Sylvain whispered, pressing the heel of his palm under one eye then the other, wiping away tears.

Felix smiled and gently tugged him toward him to kiss his lips.

Sylvain pressed their forehead together, replying to his kiss, caressing his cheek.

“Thank you for coming, thank you for telling me all of this…” He looked in the void. “Miklan… thank you too.” He kissed tenderly Felix, as if he was dragging strength from his pale lips… “You wanted to know why I cared? Why I still care? Because I knew… I knew you hated me because of the Crest, because the society, our family, put yourself into disillusion… You thought having a Crest will give you love. And you couldn’t see those who loved you… _I_ loved you…”

“And I managed to make you hate me… You, with your so kind heart; you, who cares for everyone despite what father did to me… I hated and you loved…”

Felix repeated, word for word. It was easier, knowing that these sentences were way shorter.

“You said it… you hated, I loved… I never hated you, Miklan. Always tried to put myself in your shoes, always tried to understand you and reach you. I may have said I hated you but… It’s like I said I loved girls or was feeling so good!” he said with a nervous laugh. “I was trying to protect myself because… because I knew you would never give me back my love. And then I hided it to everybody. I was always talking about you until… until talking about you was vain.”

“You talked about me?”

“He alwaaaaays talked about you!” Felix groaned. “This was almost annoying… Not as annoying at this stupid smile,” he added looking at Sylvain who truly was smiling to him.

“Sorryyyy.”

“Don’t be…”

Sylvain pressed their foreheads together.

Felix was certainly thinking, by giving him the opportunity he craved for to talk with his brother, to cross the bridge they have started to build together, he was offering what he hoped, a new birth? But it was wrong… his real new birth was when he accepted to marry him. That was the day Sylvain really felt alive. Since day, he was living, enjoying that life he wondered why he had to support before him… Before his love.

Without him, this conversation would have never happened.

Without him, his life would be no more.

Before, he kept waking up to see him, to help him, to be his support and because of the promise…

Now…

Oh now, he just needed to know he will be by his side in the morning to know it was worth waking up.

They were supporting each other.

The promise had never been more important, more true than since they married each other. Each day was for the other one, each second was dedicated to grow _together_ , each thought existed to brush, praise the other existence…

“Thank you, Fe’…”

Felix shook his head.

He didn’t thought he deserved to be thanked. Especially not when Sylvain’s presence was worth a million of thanks. He wouldn’t be alive neither without him. He lifted him when he lost Glenn.

They always had been there for each other.

Always had been like the two parts of a tiny puzzle.

Their puzzle…


	6. The Door of Enbarr

Here there were…

Fódlan.

The banks of Adrestia to be correct, the cold time and Felix who was more than happy to have been granted the vest of his lover years ago. It was made with the fur of some animal from Sreng, a strange kind of rabbit with a very dry flesh, and it was so warm. Enough to support the temperature of the coast of Adrestia.

Away, you could see the mountains drawing themselves in the distance but… especially, looking away, you could already see Enbarr.

And Glenn looked very eager for them to arrive there. With a horse like Dumbass, even though he had to slow down because Lobelia was tinnier, Sylvain thought they would be there in one hour. One hour and half perhaps…

Still, it seemed to be too slow for Glenn. And to Felix’s opinion, it was quite strange?! Never Glenn had been so impatient about anything.

And so secret.

Sylvain handed a few more coins to the boatwoman, thanking her for her service, the blankets she allowed them to have and the disgusting food they gave them while the travel. With a bit of chance, this would allow her to buy more decent ingredient for meal to come.

“Are you ready?” Felix asked while wondering if he should climb on Lobelia’s back or Dumbass’?

“With you by my side, I’m always ready,” Sylvain smiled.

“You keep hitting on me as if I wasn’t already yours,” Felix mumbled, his cheeks red.

“That’s because you will always belong to yourself only,” his husband protested. He moved toward him, made sure no one could see them from the boat and hugged him from behind. “And I love seeing blushing,” he added in the secret of his ear.

Felix blushed even more.

They were married since almost ten years and he still felt so ridicule.

So ridicule to have his heart beating so hard in his chest while _his husband_ leaned to ask a kiss. So ridicule to be thrilled for it to happen, having his lips grabbed by his, his body warming him.

“The boatwoman…”

Felix heard Glenn saying those two words in a fog and he quickly stepped away from Sylvain, looking at the woman at the moment she was leaning on her barrier.

“Eh, guys! If you want to leave Fódlan again, which I’d understand,” she said, making a face, “I leave in one week.”

“We probably won’t be back by this time,” Felix said, looking away.

Which didn’t annoy the lady. She already noticed how Felix never looked her in the eyes or anything.

Well, he was strangely red but… who cared?

“Okay. Stay safe, guys! And if ever you want to come back to the real liberty and I’m around…”

“Sure!” Sylvain smiled.

Felix nodded.

The lady moved away and Felix frowned, folding his arms.

“Not sure I want to go back in the despair of Mach,” Sylvain said between his teeth as he kept smiling.

Just in case she would come back.

“I thought about this lately,” Felix replied.

“How horrible, despaired and destroyed was Mach?” Sylvain looked around. “This first taste of Fódlan looks okay…” he whispered.

“Do you want to go live in Sreng?” Felix asked.

There was still people around that could notice them but that stop Sylvain from lifting Felix and making him swirl in the air. Felix let out a little scream of surprise despite being used to this and he rolled his arms around him.

“Sylvain!!”

“Yes, yes, yes!!” Sylvain replied.

“Stop!” Felix laughed.

“But I’m so happy!!”

Felix pressed their forehead together. “I love you Sylvain, but I also hate you so much.” He caressed tenderly his throat. “Why you never told me you wanted that bad to go to Sreng?”

“Because, you know… Wherever we are, I’m happy by your side. And it’s not that easy to live in Sreng.”

Felix shrugged, closing a bit more his arms around.

“You’ll teach me.”

“It’s just so cold.”

“You’ll warm me,” Felix smiled. “Right?”

“Oh… Oh, mon amour, yes…” He tenderly kissed him, passing his arm under his behind so he could lift him and help him to stay steady. Even though Felix didn’t really need it… “I will always keep you warm.”

“I didn’t doubt about that,” Felix said in the hollow of his ear.

He hugged him with his arms and his legs. Sylvain swirled on himself.

“Noooo!” Felix protested, laughing.

Sylvain landed kisses in his neck and for a second, he knew Felix and he were just in their world. Nothing had sense. Nothing existed except… them. Just them.

For a second.

Or a bit more.

Then Felix realized everybody could notice them and he groaned before gently pulling backward.

It had been a while since the last time Felix pulled backward harshly. Not that, back then, it disturbed Sylvain. He knew him by heart…

“Thank you for having wait, Glenn,” Felix said under his breath.

“It’s fine but please…”

“Yes, soon,” Felix swore. “Sylvain c… can you help me to climb on Dumbass?”

“Dumbass?” Sylvain repeated. That was strange! “Sure. I can take Lobel…”

He stopped talking because he saw his husband shaking his head.

“We have lost enough time like that. Whatever the danger Glenn’s fear is, it has been almost one month and we just cuddled like that… I will climb on Dumbass’ back with you. If that disturb anyone, fuck them. I married you and I’m proud of that.”

“Mon amour…” Sylvain whispered with emotion.

“Ten years after, he finally think that,” Miklan snickered.

“Can you shut up?” Felix and Glenn said exactly at the same time.

“What?” Sylvain hiccupped.

Glenn held out his hand to caress Sylvain’s cheek. Feeling the coldness, Sylvain moved his fingers to brush it.

“Glenn…” he whispered. “Miklan, right? Miklan, stop being mean!”

He walked toward Dumbass. Miklan was more incline to gently touch him now but it was just _the way_. Miklan would ruffle his hair and was a bit harsher, rough. Glenn was really tender in his gesture. You could sense he was used to give love while Miklan still struggled with that…

He still wasn’t made for love. In his opinion. And still wasn’t made to protect…

“Glenn, we will try to go as fast as possible,” Sylvain swore as he helped Felix to climb on the big horse.

He had harnessed the horses a bit before leaving the boat because he knew they were supposed to be as quick as they could. Even though he knew he had lost time with his love.

“Thank you…” Glenn said.

“He said thank you.”

Sylvain climbed behind Felix and whistled Lobelia for her to follow as he dug his heels in the side of Dumbass.

“But… Glenn?”

“Yes?”

For Felix, it was always a bit weird to see him move alongside with them because his brother was literally floating and could be as fast as he wanted. The power he was holding when you thought about it…

The power _they_ were holding.

Glenn kept them away but he could see his father at distance. He could see Ingrid looking him with such hatred. And Dimitri… Dimitri wasn’t looking at him with hate but he should have…

Why didn’t he?

“You alright, Fe’?” Sylvain asked.

“Yes, why?”

“You’re shivering…” Sylvain said under his breath.

“It’s fine… It’s just the ghosts…” He closed his hand on the wrist of his husband. “Glenn sais ‘yes’.”

“I know your love of the Chivalry and your sense of doing what is right is also so strong… But it’s not just about Fódlan, isn’t it?”

“Perhaps it’s just that?” Glenn said.

“Tell them, Glenn,” Miklan commanded with a firm tone.

Glenn bit his lower lip.

“Or I do it,” the bandit pursued.

“Fuck!” Glenn groaned. For a solid second, Felix was sure his brother would throw Miklan in the void. “When we were in Garreg Mach, we befriended a man: Holst Prudentia Goneril… He is the one in danger…” He looked at Miklan. “Happy?”

“Could be happier,” Miklan groaned.

“Glenn said it’s Hilda’s brother who is in danger?”

“The famous General?” Sylvain frowned. “But why going in Enbarr?”

He was so confused.

“That’s the last track I have from him. Strangely… his presence is like… erased. I can’t know where he is…”

“Are you sure he isn’t dead?” Felix asked.

“Felix!” Miklan groaned.

“If someone has managed to kill a General like him… Hell, if someone has managed to put him in danger, what are we supposed to do?!” He looked on the side, as if he was looking at Glenn even though he couldn’t know where he was, of course, and just watched the air. “Why would we be able to do something someone like _him_ would have failed?”

Glenn shook his head.

“You are two. You are strong… You have defeated the Immaculate One…”

“We didn’t! I wish I…” Felix stopped talking, looking at his free hand. There was no blood in his hand. Not that blood… and shouldn’t he be happy of that? “Edelgard and the professor were those who killed her. Us we just… we just opened the path through our past beloved for her to succeed.”

“You killed us!”

“Ingrid, not now!” Glenn protested as Felix tensed.

“Fe’?”

Sylvain tenderly hugged him, feeling him panicking.

“Not now?!” Ingrid protested. “They betrayed us! And Sylvain killed me! Felix murdered Dimitri! They…”

“I know! But what did you want to do?!” Glenn talked back. “You wanted to kill him, right?!”

“Yes.”

Felix hiccupped.

Glenn as well…

Rodrigue just talked and with such a tone.

Felix pressed his hands over his ears. He couldn’t hear that. He didn’t want to listen to that?!

“Felix…”

Sylvain gently pressed his hands over Felix’s, landing kisses on his face, on the corners of his eyes where there were droplets of tears…

Felix shook in his arms, not even able to snuggle against his chest and Dumbass kept walking but only because Miklan was making him do. While looking at Glenn who, himself, looked at his father with shock. Like Felix, he could remember his words when they fought, even thought it was almost four years ago, because they were so harsh, horrible… but they all hoped it was just words.

They all had said so many things in the haste of the battles… In the turmoil of War…

“You wanted to kill Felix?! He is your son!”

“And he stepped away from his path. He turned his back to the Kingdom and to do what…? I wanted him to…”

“To die like me?! You would have wanted your son to die rather than living?!” Rodrigue opened his mouth. “Father…” Glenn said under his breath, moving his hand.

It was more than obvious he was ready to throw him in the void.

Glenn loved his father.

But he loved his brother even more…

“We devoted our lives to the King!”

“You never let us the chance!” Felix yelled. “The Boar was a Monster! Out of revenge, he did wrong around him! He wouldn’t be able to rules a Kingdom! He wouldn’t be able to rules a Country!! He just wanted to be avenged! I couldn’t accept that! I wanted to protect those I loved! I… never wanted this to happen… I wanted to protect you, to protect Ingrid and…”

“Felix…” Sylvain whispered, gently hugging him, gently rocking him.

The nails of his lovers were deep dug in the flesh of his hands.

“I just wanted to reach Dimitri and making him come back to what he was…But instead, I…”

“Felix! You did the right thing!” Sylvain said. “You tried to protect them! You did your best! You always did… In the end, you choose to protect _me_ and you shouldn’t be the one wearing this burden. You heard me out?!” he screamed in the air.

Fortunately, the docks weren’t in the town itself and they have been out of civilization since a little moment. Only birds and tiny animals could judge them for those hugs, for the tears rolling along Felix’s cheeks. He hated himself for that but the ghosts, the images, the fact he failed to protect… the fact he had to kill those he wanted to protect in the hope of saving the only one he truly wanted to protect…

He had failed…

He…

“Leave Felix alone!” Sylvain screamed in the air. “He did what was the best for the future. We… we never wanted to kill! We never wanted to fight… we had no choices…” he said under his breath. “We really… We wanted to protect you but… All of this was ridicule… All of this… If only we could have…” Sylvain shook his head, feeling his heart so heavy. “Glenn! Please! Do your thing!”

Glenn’s eyes started to gleam with a white light and he moved his hands. A soft wind moved around, swirling in Sylvain’s hair, and then it calmed… Sylvain could feel a hand on his cheek. Cold. Tender.

Glenn…

“I’m sorry, Felix…”

“It’s fine…” he replied. “Honestly… I just want them to be gone…”

“All of them?”

“Not Glenn…” Felix whispered.

Which wasn’t surprising. He was so close from his brother.

“Miklan sometimes because the man is a jerk…”

“Eh!”

“Don’t protest, you are!” Sylvain said.

Felix looked at him with big eyes.

“Wh… what? He really protested? I just… I just guessed he could…” the man nervously cracked up.

“Yes, he did…” Felix informed.

“Oh. Oops… And… thank you to keep him around… That’s ridicule though…”

Felix shook his head.

“I just… I really wanted the World to be just us. You are my World, Felix… But I also want you to be protected. And if they can protect you, then I’m fine having to share you. And Glenn makes you so happy!!”

“Sylvain… You are my World,” Felix swore, pressing his back against his chest and his head in his neck.

“I love you…” Sylvain whispered.

Enbarr wasn’t that far away from the docks, especially on Dumbass’ back. They could already see the silhouette of the town drawn away. Soon, they will be there and their fate will bring them again to the big Mansion being the House and the Headquarters of the Empress… of any person in charge.

Soon, they will be asked to act and Sylvain still felt doubts…

Holst was barely fourteen that his name started to be said with respect and praise. He was six or seven, he heard stories about him and he couldn’t help thinking… how could they fight something if Holst had been struck down by it?

Perhaps dead…

Because, they knew death wasn’t the certitude Felix would see them. He couldn’t see some people, either because they were in the Void, somewhere else or just not wanting to be around him… Sylvain had already noticed he could see every ghosts and sometimes Felix would tense and he knew it was because of them…

So Holst could be dead and very away from here…

And what were they supposed to do in this case?

Dumbass entered the town and they both noticed how calm it was. Almost disturbing… However, it wasn’t the only think they could notice. Felix noticed it first to be honest… there were picture of them, a bit younger, everywhere. And above their head, there was a ‘wanted’ while below you could read ‘alive’ and this with a pretty interesting amount of money…

As soon as Felix pointed it out to Sylvain, this one made Dumbass walk toward one of the wall. He held out his hand to grab one of those papers. The one who wanted to see them hadn’t skimped on the money… how many gold throw away for this?

Especially when you noticed the amount of papers.

Whoever wanted to see them, they wanted to be sure it would be seen…

“Who want to see us that bad?” Sylvain wondered.

“It doesn’t seem to be written on…” Felix said, as he looked the words in the paper his husband was holding. He took it from his fingers and turned it on the other side. “That’s a riddle…”

Felix crumpled the paper in his hand and threw it away with a groan.

“But… I love riddle…” Sylvain said with a sad puppy face.

“Those papers are all over the town so take another one if you really want to.”

“Yep! Dumbass,” he said, pressing his heel against the side of the mount.

“Eh!!”

“The horse, Felix!”

“Oh dear Goddess!! Miklan, I hate you!”

The man let out a snicker as Sylvain grabbed another paper. They really were stuck up so close from each other.

“Is the riddle the same than the one you saw?” Sylvain asked, showing him the tract.

Felix looked it.

“No,” he replied.

“So you need a few of them to solve the riddle and know where to bring us? That’s so smart…”

“Don’t be tempted to go there, it might be a trap,” Felix replied.

“I know. But I also believe you would strike down anyone. You’re the best,” Sylvain smiled, leaning toward him.

“Sylvain!”

Felix pulled away and if Sylvain’s arm wasn’t around him, he would have fallen on the ground.

Sylvain looked at him with surprise.

“We are in public, Sylvain!”

“Ah… Yes, sorry. So…” He helped him getting correctly back on the saddle. “Should I let go of you?” he asked, his fingers moving away.

Felix looked away but closed his hand over the big one, pressing it against his belly.

“As you wish, mon amour,” Sylvain smiled.

He grabbed another poster as they passed in front of it. And two… and three…

Glenn asked them to go to the big Mansion. They knew Edelgard wouldn’t be there but even Glenn didn’t know what was waiting for them there. He could have there and came back in a matter of seconds but the truth was that he preferred staying around Felix and makes sure they wouldn’t be attacked. Sylvain didn’t know yet how easy it was to discover the answer to the riddle, even though he had now ten-ish papers… and perhaps they didn’t care at all about that. Which such an amount promised, no much people would really care about having solved a riddle or not…

Whoever wanted to see them might accept them even if without the riddle resolved… as long as they were noisy enough to make clearly understand they got Felix Hugo Fraldarius and Sylvain José Gautier… Well… Meandering Sword and Fox of Sreng, the two famous Mercenaries…

Perhaps that was the reason why they were searched?

Perhaps it was the authority for all they did in the past while making money before leaving Fódlan?

They approached the Mansion and, as they grew closer, they came down Dumbass. Sylvain was the first one to just down and moved his arms to help Felix. This was a contact, and a help, he could accept even in public because even though he could have done it himself… the horse looked really big for him. Felix grabbed his swords and put them at his belt before tugging the black hood, that was from a cloth under the vest gently hugging him, above his head. Usually, He would put some black make up and his face would almost disappear in the darkness of the hood, be like a shadow. But he hadn’t the time for that.

As he was getting himself ready, he turned toward his husband who grabbed his lance. Well… it almost looked like a halberd. He had lost his spear long ago, the weapon breaking under the strength of an opponent. He had taken his halberd instead and you could see the manufacture of the land of Brigid on it. On the long stick surrounded with bandage at some strategic points, of the ribbons flying with every movement and of the huge dark metal with numerous spikes plus the other spike on the other side, tinier. Just another assurance. And how often didn’t he threw that tiny edge on someone and hit them just the right way so he could defeat them, protect Felix…

“Miklan says there are guards and soldiers in front of every entry,” Felix said, checking his knives where at their place.

One at his thigh, another in his boot, and there was the one at his wrist…

Way enough to fight.

Three knives, two swords, one little arrow in his hair, holding them, and being a last trick weapon and magic.

“Aaah, I remember when I thought you had just some secret sixth or seventh sense! I thought I had married the most amazing man ever. Well!” he smirked, approaching him. “In the end, I still married you, so I wasn’t wrong.”

Felix pressed a finger coming out of a black mitten just on his red lips.

“Huuush…Stop saying silly stuff.”

“I’m saying the truth!”

“Yes, yes. And now help me to reach a window,” Felix said. “And then, I will help you to come too.”

“That’s a plan. Let’s go.”

They became just like shadows, moving swiftly through the city to the Mansion. It was just a couple of hundred paces but they had to be careful. Between the posters and the threatening…

Thanks to the ghosts, it was easy to walk without encounter any guard and so they arrived to a wall topped with huge spikes.

“You can cross there, it’s safe,” Miklan said.

“Here it’s good,” Felix informed to Sylvain.

“Perfect,” his redhead replied, crouched and joining his hands together.

Felix climbed on it and let Sylvain lift him. Not only to his shoulders level but higher. Felix grabbed the edge of the wall and lifted himself while Glenn checked that no one could see or interrupt them. Even though he trusted his brother more than anyone, except Sylvain probably, Felix looked around the place. No guards. He turned on himself and passed his feet on the other side of the barrier, securing his ankle against the bar before letting down his body, holding out his hands to Sylvain. The redhead couldn’t help a big smile to spread on his lips and he grabbed those hands. Felix lifted his body, raising Sylvain’s weight without the slightest difficulty. As soon as Sylvain’s knees touched the wall, Felix made sure he wouldn’t risk any fail and swirled on himself, grabbing the upper part of the barrier, just between the threatening pikes and passed on the other side of it.

“I am… so glad to have married you,” Sylvain whispered out of breath.

“I love you too but not now,” Felix said as he jumped down the wall.

“Wait for me!”

Sylvain climbed the barrier and when he reached the edge of the wall, he could only smile because Felix was holding out his arms to him.

“Don’t play with me, kitty,” Sylvain smiled.

But he couldn’t resist to the temptation and jumped.

And without the slightest surprise, he was caught up by Felix.

“I love one strong man,” he smiled.

“I hope it’s me,” Felix smirked back as he put him back on his feet.

“Yes! The only one. My only one!” Sylvain said with a caressing tone. He could have landed a million of kisses on him but… “Miklan, Glenn, what direction, now?”

“Follow me,” Glenn said.

But clearly more to Felix than Sylvain. It was easier for him to be asked to be followed than starting to give the lead by words…

“Follow me,” Felix repeated.

“Everywhere.”

Sylvain smiled but Felix knew he was concentrated. They walked through the big court, the yards and the garden. Everything was so beautiful despite the coldness that was starting to set. The cold period was really swallowing the year.

Lead by Glenn, they walked to a side of the Mansion and a big window.

“I go inside and search after the possible enemy,” Glenn said. “Miklan, please, I entrust you my baby brother and our sweet Sylvain.”

“Yeah, sure,” Miklan replied.

He glanced at Felix and Sylvain as this one crouched and prepared his hands. Felix put his hands on the broad shoulders.

“I think I will have to launch you,” Sylvain said.

“Yes…”

“If you can’t grab the sill, I will catch you back,” he swore.

“I know.”

Felix quickly kissed his lips. “Go!”

Sylvain quickly straightened, launching his arms to the sky and so propelling his lover, who swirled in the air, to the window. Felix’s fingers closed around the edge, letting out a little sound of pain but bringing his other hand on the windowsill and pushed his body upward so he could break the glass and passing in the other side of it. But just before he turned his head toward Sylvain.

“I’m coming to get you. Miklan, keep…”

“Yeah, yeah. I keep an eye on him. Though you’re the one risking your life!”

“I’m fine…” Felix said.

He slid in the house and moved toward the stairs.

It was strange because he knew this place… He knew those walls, the portraits all around, the carpet over the steps…

But…

But there were also more things he didn’t know. There were flower bouquets all around and while he knew Ferdinand had a high sense of taste, very refined, it wasn’t like him. Someone else had taken place here. Some walls had burn trace and here a lightning like mark… some tapestries were half-burned…

Felix was silent, swift like a cat. He got down the stairs and dashed, on his tip toes, his limbs following the movement of his body, to the front door. Grabbing one of his swords, he used the pommel to knock down the guards. He watched them as they fell on the floor. One after the other.

If he could avoid staining his hands with more blood, he would…

But he couldn’t help seeing that scarlet liquid appear on his palms. As flashes…

As much he knew he could never wash it away, he also knew he could make sure he wouldn’t have to pour more blood on them.

Felix pushed away the fainted body and he opened the doors. He moved to the side of the Mansion, cautious, still swift, looking around him.

“Sylvain,” he called with a low voice.

Sylvain moved away from his hidden place and joined him, his halberd imprisoned by his fingers.

Felix nodded as a sign of assurance and he led him to the doors he just opened. Fast, they arrived soon enough in the big hall. Sylvain frowned, noticing the same atmosphere they had knew for so long when they came to talk affair with Edelgard and not understanding how they came to this strange new choice… candles, bouquets, fabrics tenderly installed all around.

Who was ruling here?

On their guards, they moved through the maze of corridors they used to know so well.

As they walked in them, they had the opportunity to meet enemies, guards doing their jobs… That wasn’t those they were used to have when Adrestia was under the charge of Edelgard and, to be honest, they almost looked like dummies… just there to give a feeling?

No…

Perhaps they just arrived _too fast_ in regard of the plan of their enemy? Whoever they were…

But when you could knock down their guards that fast…

Or perhaps they were trying to create a new power out of Enbarr?

“Felix!” Felix turned his head toward Glenn. “I can’t find the energy I remembered. And there is no trace of…”

“Felix, shove Sylvain!!” Miklan roared.

Felix’s eyes widened and the second after, his hand pushed violently his husband. A spear crossed the piece, opening Felix’s wrist and Sylvain’s shoulder. Nothing much. Nothing to worry…

And yet…

“Who are you,” a cold voice said.

They turned their head toward the threat.

It wasn’t possible… It couldn’t…


	7. Chapter 06: The blood of your life

“I know you…”

The person above the stairs was holding another javelin in their hand. A spear in their back. And hatred in their eyes.

Their red outfit was meant to attack at any moment so it wasn’t surprising that their long greenish hair were held in a thick bun with light blue ribbons. The same ribbons that had been offered to them by their brother when they were only fifteen…

“You were working with the Empress…”

“You were working too with the Empress!” Felix groaned back.

“You were supposed to help the Empress to unify Fódlan, to open the gates to Sreng, to Almyra, Duscur, Brigid!!!! You were supposed to help but you left! My brother died for this hope!”

“My brother died to protect a Prince we killed!” Felix snickered.

“I killed my brother to put a mercy to him,” Sylvain completed. “I killed my brother for a Crest matter and we helped Edelgard for that! Once she had what she wanted what forced us to stay? No matter how many brothers died! How many sisters, fathers, mothers, cousins, sons, daughters… friends!”

“They said Fódlan will be unified but not the way Edelgard wanted to do it… They said they will erase Crest for once… They said…”

“Fleche!” Sylvain protested. “It needs time to make things change! How many people were used or died for Crests?! How do you want Edelgard to change that in a matter of four years without risking a rebellion?”

“They will do it… it just needed will.”

“And we won’t let them do without knowing who they are and if they are even trustable!” Felix groaned.

“Oh, but you know them…”

“And we will have to reap it from your bleeding mouth?” Sylvain asked.

“Something like that.” She pressed her fingers together and brought them to her mouth, whistling in with such violence that it echoed on the walls. “They said someone would come but we believed Edelgard would be the one… It will work for you too, thought…”

Three creatures came from nowhere… They seemed to be statue just before and now…

A terrifying with pointy antler and yellow gleaming, the hooves huge and pointy, the body so huge and fangs coming from their mouth; an unnerving creature, two red orbs looking at you while huge wings with feather sharp as knives where moving in the room, and talon, and beak as sharp as it was possible, the beak even seeming to be _two_ beaks; and a gigantic creeping beast that had what appeared to be a mane but seemed to be made with a million of tiny needles, two blue discs coming from that spooking forest, the jaws and the claws looking like ten or fifteen centimeters long…

They were huge.

So huge.

“Oh fuck…” Sylvain let out.

“What the…” Glenn whispered.

“You manipulated Crest Stone?!” Sylvain screamed out with horror.

“ _I_ did nothing. Those Creatures haven’t been made with Crest _stones_.” The girl smirked, her javelin moving in her hand. And let her hand open, making hiss the wind as it was stabbed by the javelin that crossed it. Right toward them. “For an unified World!!!”

“Felix!”

Sylvain grabbed his husband, tugging him away from the javelin that suck in the floor instead. Sylvain swirled on himself, making them swirl and let out a scream of pain when the claws and fangs of the gigantic maned creature entered in him.

“Sylvain!”

“Don’t focus on him!” a voice came.

“The girl! Step back!”

Hearing his brother, Felix walked back and saw the lance’s edge pass at a few centimeters from him, stealing away some of his hair. He swirled on himself, slaying with his sword. The sound of the metal echoed in the room. The spear just saved herself.

“Sylvain!”

Felix glanced on the side and saw him burst fire from himself, pushing away the beasts. The Creature with the antlers dashed toward him anyway. Felix let out a cuss and threw his boot in the girl, launching her in the stairs. He dashed to Sylvain, swiping his sword in the air. The blade of his loyal friend brushed Sylvain’s halberd as he threw this one in the winged Monster, fire rolling around the maned one. Felix’s sword opened a deep wound in the neck of that strange animal.

“The girl!”

As soon as he heard his brother’s voice tinting in his ear, Felix turned his head and held out his free hand. Thunder came from his fingers, hitting the girl who let out a scream and all the beasts stopped moving. Sylvain took advantage of it, running through the maned creature with his halberd, right in the place you could guess a heart was sleeping.

Fleche moving backward, out of reach of the tongue of thunder.

And the beasts started to move again.

All of them.

“Oh fuck! Felix!!!”

Felix turned his head, hearing Sylvain’s call. And his eyes widened when he saw the antlers one, the throat almost slide in two, still moving. For it and the maned one, there was that green light coming from the wound, frightening. And Felix was sure to see a Crest gleam in their flesh. But it wasn’t the moment to notice it.

He let out a cuss and his Crest appeared behind him, blue light coming from under the layer of his clothes as his sword ran through the antler creature.

“Felix!!”

“Felix!”

Sylvain and Glenn’s voice echoed as the wing beast dashed to him. Sylvain threw his halberd through the skull of the strange bird and his fire burst to the last beast.

“The girl!”

Felix let himself fell on the floor, the antlered moving down at the same time and Fleche let out a scream of pain as her belly was open by the edges of the horns. She stepped away with a moan, her blood sliding on the floor, on Felix’s face. Who almost gasped some when he felt the hooves of the creature entering in his thighs.

It didn’t want to die?!

“Sylvain!” Felix called.

He moved his hand toward him. Sylvain grabbed it and tugged him against him, out of the prison made by the body of the creature, out of the other ones’ threat. Felix intertwined their fingers and casted thunder toward the beasts. Sylvain immediately called fire, trying to roast the antlered thing.

As if they could give mercy to it.

“As if!” Fleche snickered.

She had her hand over her belly, the other, around her spear, as much slippery because of the blood, but there were rage in her eyes.

“You won’t kill them that way!”

“Then tell us the way,” Sylvain winked.

Felix jumped, swift like a cat, and landed on her shoulders, his weight, even pretty light in regard of what you’d expect, making her lose her balance. She felt on the floor with violence and a yell especially because he jumped again and his foot landed on her belly, on her wounds, making her scream again.

“You heard him?” he whispered, his eyes looking demoniac, his smile as well…

She moved her hand through the pain and threw the spear toward Felix who just moved his head, the sharp edge brushing his throat.

“Fuck you!”

“No,” he said coldly with a smile even colder.

His feet pressed on her belly.

“Felix!”

He reacted to Sylvain’s voice rather than Glenn’s and pulled away, swirling on himself.

“Glenn!”

Glenn’s eyes turned blue, light coming from between his lips and from his belly. Felix’s belly casted blue light as well. He threw his sword in the belly of the antlered creature, allowing to Sylvain to focus on the maned one since he just throw a swirl of flame to the strange bird. His Crest appeared behind him as he slayed the beast once, not for the second attack and yet, it was obvious his strength was increased. Glenn, on the other hand, had his Crest shining behind him. Felix attacked again, his Crest gleaming and then it was Glenn and him and…

“The girl!” Miklan warned.

Felix swirled on himself, thunder coming from his hand. Sylvain moved, his back brushing Felix’s and he summoned the fire from Hell itself, casting it to the antlered creature that let out a shriek for the first time as it vanished to ashes.

“Felix!” Sylvain’s body started to vibrate, making light come from him and said light surrounded the bird. “That’s enough!”

“It’s fine!” he protested.

Felix let the thunder vanish and the last beast licked its lip before jumping toward Felix. Sylvain grabbed his husband, protecting his little body in the cocoon of his strong arms.

“SYLVAIN!!” Felix yelled as he saw the big fangs closing on his lover.

“I’m fine…” Sylvain whispered at his ear.

But the creatures was moving, opening a bit more the wound and splash the blood on the white face, as if they tried to adorn him with as much freckles as the love of his life. Felix could only hiccup.

“FRY IT!!!” Miklan roared.

“I’m sorry,” Felix said.

His fingers dug in the mane and electricity came from him, his whole vein system shining and thunder licking the best. Sylvain closed his arms around Felix who could feel the current passing through them.

The beast yelled, spitting more blood, more of _Sylvain_ ’s blood on Felix’s face, and fainted. The ground shattered.

And Sylvain let out a sigh.

“Felix…” he said.

“I’m so sorry,” Felix whispered.

Sylvain shook his head and crouched, making him sit on the floor. He walked toward Fleche, lying in a puddle of scarlet shining under the light of the chandeliers…

“You’re about to die…” Sylvain said. “For whom are you working? Who will take over Fódlan? …the World?”

“You think I’ll tell you?” she laughed, hiccup making blood splatter out of her lips.

“You will die in a minute or two! Do you want them to be horrible?!” Sylvain threatened.

“I will die…” she whispered. “Go on… make it awful,” she mocked. “Soon, it’d be over…”

“Tell her I’m going to torture her every second of her death!” Miklan groaned, threatening.

“Ask about Holst!” Glenn begged.

Felix looked at the girl.

“What about Holst Prudentia Goneril? We heard he was here.”

She let out a sad laugh. “The General… He’s in the Gautier’s territory. You better hurry because it doesn’t remain him lot of time,” she smirked.

“Wh… what?” Glenn let out.

“What does she mean?!” Miklan groaned.

“What do you mean?!” Sylvain asked.

She let out a cold chuckle. “I met him… Better that than something else…” she said under her breath.

A thin stream of blood slid along her lips and her chest stopped to move, her eyelids stopped to flutter and the light in the eyes just disappeared.

“What… No! Shit! Fe…”

Sylvain closed his lips before finishing his word.

No, he couldn’t ask that to Felix. He wasn’t an object. He wasn’t a bridge… When Felix gave him the opportunity to talk with Miklan he would take it but asking him to reply to his will as if he was just a parakeet or something…

No.

Never.

“She isn’t there… But I don’t understand how it works,” Felix said. “I never saw my mother…”

Sylvain approached him and Felix stared at the blood rolling along his shoulder with horror.

“Sylvain…”

Sylvain gently but quickly lifted the layers of clothes hiding the belly, with a hand that seemed to be used to do those kind of things.

“Felix…”

“Sylvain! It’s not about me!” Felix protested, pushing him away.

“You have to stop using your Crest all the time! You push it too much!” Sylvain screamed back.

Around his navel, there was a blue sigil.

Fraldarius’ Crest.

And it was bleeding…

“It’s fine. It doesn’t even hurt. But you!”

“It’s fine. I got worse…” Sylvain groaned.

“Can you both stop being idiot?” Miklan sighed.

“Your brother ask you to stop being idiot and let me look!” Felix said.

“What?” Miklan protested.

“You should stop being an idiot first,” Glenn commented with a chuckle.

He still looked extremely worry, and a bit weak, to be honest. But not as weak as Felix.

Sylvain shook his head with a smirk.

“I know you’re stronger than me, better than me and I know you can make a lot of stuff I couldn’t even dream about. But you were doing too much.”

“I’m not that weak,” Felix groaned. “And what I am supposed to do with my strength if not that? If not using it for you?!” he protested. “Anyway, if I reproach you what you’ve done you will tell me you wouldn’t have a reason to be alive except to keep me alive!”

Sylvain let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah…”

He moved his hand to gently caress Felix’s cheek. His husband had no difficulty to notice he was avoiding using the other shoulder. He approached him and grabbed his knife.

“What are you doing? Ending my life?” Sylvain smirked.

“It would be a concern out of my life!” Felix groaned back.

He moved his knife to shred out the vest but Sylvain grabbed his wrist.

“No.”

Felix stared at him. “I need to remove your clothes to see the wounds!”

“I know.” Sylvain opened the big black vest, still a bit too big for him, ragged and holed, and let it fall on the floor along his arms with a painful sound. “Now you can have fun, kitty,” he smiled.

“You’re an idiot!” Felix let out with anger. He ripped open the layers of clothes, throwing Sylvain’s skin to the coldness of the room. “That stupid vest!” he groaned as he shredded the pullover to free the wound. “That stupid brother!!” he roared, throwing the knife toward Miklan.

“Eh, be careful, you could kill someone with that!” Miklan protested.

Felix glared at him with hatred and then toward Sylvain as soon as he felt his hand on his cheek covered with _his_ blood.

“Calm yourself. I’m fine,” Sylvain said, pressing their forehead together.

“You have to stop protecting me…” Felix whispered.

“Can’t do,” his husband replied, gently rubbing their nose together.

Felix allowed himself a second to this tenderness then he looked away, at the wound, and pressed his hands on the shoulder. Sylvain let out a scream and was almost sure his dear and adorable lover did it a bit of purpose because he wanted him to remind him the pain. The pain he made him feel at this exact moment. But it didn’t matter… Sylvain moved his hand to caress his hair, roll the loosen dark blue strands around his fingers. It didn’t matter because if he lost Felix, the pain will be worse…


	8. Chapter 07: Riddle

Sylvain’s breath was soft, slow… His torso was barely moving and, under the roof of stars, Felix was watching him, almost lying on him, his arms crossed on his chest. He could have moved easily even though Sylvain not wounded arm was around his waist, but he wouldn’t… Because of that arm symbolizing Sylvain’s wish, because they were so used to him sleeping like a cat on him or because he was just hypnotizing by the fresh wounds around his shoulder…

“He will be fine,” a voice said.

Felix jolted and his widening eyes looked on the side. He caressed Sylvain’s cheek and felt his arm closing a bit more around him.

“He deserves better than that. He deserves better than me…”

His fingers brushed the wounds, closing his eyes when he saw him twitching out of pain or discomfort.

“You’re saying non-sense!” Glenn protested.

Felix pressed his cheek on Sylvain’s chest, listening to the soft music of his heart beating there…

“Don’t be idiot! You kept him alive for all those years!” Miklan groaned.

“Sylvain protected you as you would have protecting him,” Glenn said. “You know it.”

“Shut up…” Felix mumbled.

“Shut up because you know I’m telling the truth?” his brother smirked.

Felix turned his head, pressing his cheek a bit more against Sylvain’s chest.

“Don’t ignore us. But also… You can rest yourself, Felix. You need it. Sylvain is right too: you use your Crest too much sometimes and you need to take more strength now. We will keep an eye on you.”

“And him,” Miklan swore.

“Thank you…”

Was it that strange he didn’t want to see him hurt? That fear was growing within him? If he lost Sylvain… Yes, of course, he was able to see ghosts but it would never been the same…

If Sylvain died… No, he didn’t even want to think about this.

As much as he didn’t want to think about what it might do to him that they would have to go back in the Gautier’s territory?

They hadn’t talked about that yet because they were tired, needed to move away from Enbarr and then healed each other before Sylvain would read the riddles… He had fallen asleep while reading them and trying to find the solution. Those riddles were hard to solve! Sylvain loved that. And really started to believe the one who wanted them might be a bit too cautious.

Felix trusted Glenn, more than anything… Except Sylvain, probably. So, knowing he was keeping an eye on him; knowing how well he could do it, Felix could close his eyes. Still worry for Sylvain but ready to meet him in the realm of dream if the Goddess was by their side.

The smell of meat burning on a fire caressed Felix’s nostrils, taking him out of his sleep. Almost ten years of wedding, three years and half to be mercenary without roof above their heads and the ability to talk with ghosts later and Felix still didn’t know how his husband did. How the hell was he able to come out from his loving embrace to start preparing their breakfast…?

Felix passed his hand in his face and in his undone hair.

“Sylvain…”

“Yes, I’m here!” he said, getting up from the fire camp to approach him.

Felix wasn’t against a kiss and even glad to have his husband next to him for some delicious second. He allowed himself to snuggle in his arms as he was fully awakening. There was no danger around so he could authorize himself a piece of delight…

“Sylvain…” he said under his breath. “You know, you’re not forced to come to the Gautier Territory…”

Sylvain let out a snicker. Here they were… Of course Felix wouldn’t lose time.

“I don’t know if you’re cute, naïve or a bit of an idiot…” Sylvain sadly said.

“Excuse me?”

“You won’t go there without me.” Sylvain tone was so determinate and his eyes were shining with a flame Felix had rarely seen… “Where you go, I go. I won’t let you go there! Risk your life or whatever! I won’t let you confront my father alone…”

“And I don’t want you to suffer because you’re seeing him.”

Sylvain shrugged as he rocked him slowly, pressing kisses on his temple.

“I have been used to worse with him… seeing him is the least of my worries…” he swore. “And you will be there…”

Felix gently caressed his face, looking him almost in the eyes… It was too hard to give him that. A deep and tender exchange of looks… Even now. All he could wish for was for this embrace to never stop. His feeling to pass through his fingers delicately brushing his wrist, Sylvain’s hand laying on his belly.

“So… are you ready?” Felix asked.

“No!” Sylvain smiled.

“Sylvain…”

“Seeing him, talking to him can’t hurt me more than what he did but that doesn’t mean I’m really ready for that. I hate him. I hate what he has done to me. To us…” His eyes searched in the distance. And Felix moved his fingers to point out where Miklan was standing, a bit away with Glenn. Glenn who seemed so worried… “Thank you. Yeah, I’m not ready to let it pass. I’m not ready to face his eyes… But I’m definitely ready to follow you anywhere. We don’t know what’s happening with Fódlan and with that girl who died, Holst might be the last solution we have.” He ruffled his hair with a groan. “And if he is in danger, we have to save him anyway!”

Felix nodded slightly, looking at him while his fingers closed a bit more around his freckled wrist, his thumb caressing in a gingerly way.

“I just don’t understand,” Sylvain whispered.

“Understand what?”

“All of this? _Who_ could be behind all of that? Who was that girl again?”

Sylvain groaned. He used to know and recognize the pretty girls when he pretended he was a playboy who could get anyone when, truly, he only wanted Felix; when, truly, he was already with him, laying all his love at his foot.

But now he didn’t have to pretend anymore, there only one name, one face, he wanted to know…

“Fleche Von Bergliez, she was Caspar Aunt… Her whole family had died in the War…”

“Do you think that’s why she was so angry? She would have overtaken Edelgard because she would believe it was _her_ fault?” He closed his eyes. “I did believe it was a bit because of her. Often, I wondered… ‘why they don’t talk’?! Often, I blamed her because… because I would have rather died than being angry against you.”

Felix shrugged, snuggling a bit more in the loving arms.

“It’s possible. I don’t know her. I don’t know how her way to think. I wouldn’t blame it on her if she was thinking that way, thought…”

Sylvain slowly nodded.

“I just try to understand…” he whispered. “Edelgard has unified Fódlan, making it a better place and allowing us to live all together, working against that Crest system that value you only if you have one of those stupid things and… and I don’t know who would want that to finish? Someone who wants the Crests to stay as important?” Sylvain wondered. “Someone who wouldn’t want Fódlan to be unified and open to the World around? The World is just so much more beautiful…”

“What if…” Felix bit his lower lip and glanced at the fire camp. A smell of burn was starting to come from there. Their breakfast was probably about to pass out. But that didn’t disturb him to eat burned things… “She said Holst is in your Dominion. Why would he be there except if those who are trying to change the face of the Fódlan are there? Do you think it’s possible our enemy is… your father?”

“I… I hadn’t thought about that,” Sylvain confessed. “But if it’s the case…” His eyes turned darker. “I’d be delighted to be the one ending his life…”

Felix moved in his arms and kissed tenderly his lips.

“You would think lesser of me if I did?” Sylvain wondered, surprised by this kiss.

“No,” Felix swore. “I understand you want your revenge and you deserve to beat your old demons. I will be there, by your side.”

Sylvain smiled and pressed their forehead together. “I love you.”

Having whispered those words against his lips, he tenderly stole them. He smiled to him, rubbing gently his nose against his and then forced himself away. Of course, he had smelled the breakfast about to turn into charcoal too. He could save it perhaps. He was pretty good with cooking or learning it for his lover at least. He knew Felix didn’t care much but _he_ cared.

So, by the fire, he started to retrieve the food and remove the burnt part. They have hunt that boar to eat him and while it remained a lot of it dried or conserved with salt, it didn’t remain a lot of meat just like that so it would be sad to waste it.

“Sylvain?”

Felix looked at him. He should have started to ruffle in their bags, looking for the brush and try to tame his hair, but he looked at him. His heart tensed.

“Yes, mon amour?”

“Do _you_ think lesser of me?”

“W… What?!” Sylvain stared at him with a hiccup. “Why would I?!”

“I killed my father…”

“Felix!” Glenn protested.

He pushed away Miklan to approach him. But Felix kept looking at his husband who got up, the plate falling from his hand. The meat bounced in the dish, sliding toward the dirt while Sylvain dashed to his lover to cup his cheeks and land a million of kisses on his face. He whispered ‘no’ between each of them.

“I love you. I will never stop loving you. But you and I are different… What you did with your father couldn’t have been done differently and I know it stills hurt you because you just wished you could have his love one day. And really… you deserve it. I don’t know why he always failed loving you when you’re so perfect…”

“Stop it,” Felix groaned.

And yet, he pressed his check in that palm, slightly smiling when he felt the thumb caressing his cheekbone.

“But me… I’d be so relieved if I had the chance to kill my father.”

“With all he made you live, I understand. So, of course, I will not see bad things into you. I had problems with my father but knowing he was around… it wasn’t a problem. I didn’t mind him being alive and… you are right, you know me so well, I… I just wanted him to love me. So when he told me I was a mistake and he would kill me to repair it, I… that night…” he whispered. “I just couldn’t stand it and I…”

“I know,” Sylvain said under his breath. “You don’t need to say it if you don’t want it. Thought… Don’t be afraid of your emotions, Felix…”

Felix allowed himself a very weak smile and pressed his hand on Sylvain’s neck, leaning to kiss his lips with tenderness.

“What you suffered was different from me,” Felix said. “We suffered from lack of love but it wasn’t the same way. The way my father couldn’t love me made him just… forget I existed. He tried his best but when he did, he didn’t see _me;_ Lucas’ way not to love you was nastier, abusive. I will support you. Even if you kill him… because I understand the fear within you… The fear to see him again. At least if he dies, his being will stop haunting you. Me… I didn’t care about him being around and if I could have sparred him… I certainly would have. The irony is…” He let out a cold laugh. “ _Now_ he is haunting me…”

“You and I, we killed people… Lot of people… But some mattered more than others,” he said under his breath. “Your father…”

“Miklan,” Felix said.

“Yes?” Miklan replied.

Glenn facepalmed, whispering ‘so dumb…’

Sylvain nodded.

“But it’s not the same.”

This time, Sylvain shook his head. “We never wanted to kill Rodrigue nor Miklan but while it turned good for me, while for you…”

“It’s fine,” Felix said. “Glenn protects me.” He took his hands, pressing a kiss on them. “You protect me…”

Sylvain blushed.

For some reason, Felix had always this effect on him. No one could make him lose control of his mind but him. One would deploy all the tricks and contrivances to get him and he couldn’t care less but if Felix smiled to him, brushed his skin, it was over… His mind was just belonging to him.

“And is there anything you wanna say to your brother? Because he is dumb…” Felix smirked.

“Miklan isn’t that dumb… You have to get a big brain to rule a bunch of bandits how he did. And to come with so many plans to get ride of your little bro’!” Sylvain laughed.

Perhaps with an hint of nervousness.

“See! Take example of your husband! And stop pestering me.”

“I will pester you how much as I want for your past acts!” Felix groaned.

“Glenn is on his side, anyway,” Sylvain smirked.

“Yeah, yeah…” Miklan sighed.

“It wouldn’t be stupid to believe all of this was because of Lucas,” Glenn intervened. “But… Why? I’d understand if it was all about the obsession of Crests…”

Glenn glanced at Miklan. Felix got up and came to the dish, handing it to Sylvain. The meat was turning cold now. It was almost ironic. As Felix gave the plate to his husband, preparing the second quickly, and ignoring the amount of burnt on it, he repeated what Glenn just said.

Sylvain was smart, even though he hid it to as many people he could; Sylvain was good to guess things from nothing; Sylvain was good with riddles…

If someone could understand that, it was him.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t have sense… With Dimitri, your father, Rowe and even Ingrid gone, adding to Lonato and any capable heir, the reins of Faerghus were already belonging to him. He would be a kind of Minister for her, an Ambassador or I don’t know. I know he should have relied to her but… I know him, he wouldn’t have cared less and would have done his stuff on his side…”

“But why should we go to the Gautier’s Dominion then?” Felix asked.

“For Holst!” both Glenn and Miklan said at the same time.

“I know,” Felix groaned.

Sylvain frowned. And then realized he was certainly talking to one of the ghosts. Even though he was used to his lover seeing dead people, it was still startling sometimes. Especially because he had only one part of the conversation…

“It just doesn’t make sense anyway,” Felix pursued. “If your father might be glad of the position why he would try to change Fódlan? And where is Edelgard? She wouldn’t have stayed without doing anything…”

“My father is a conqueror, my birth itself is the proof of it…” Sylvain groaned. “And also quite lazy as a ruler… He is good when he wants it but he especially stay without doing anything. Rodrigue and Uncle Lambert were truly those acting and while he was expected to force Sreng to hold in place… well, forcing the Queen to become to wed him was a very good and lazy way to get it… So perhaps she tried to remove him from his nobility and that’s how he ended up trying to fight back? In any case…” Sylvain took Felix’s dish and have him his instead, making him sigh. “We have to go. Whatever if we have to fight my father, Edelgard herself or a bunch of pretty girls… we just have to make sure Fódlan wouldn’t suffer from it. And Edelgard absence from her own Mansion is worrying enough in my opinion…”

“All right,” Felix replied. “If we’re sure of what we’re doing.”

“I’m never sure of what I’m doing except when I snuggle with you!” Sylvain protested with a laugh.

“Then if we have a clear goal, let’s just follow it. Let’s go to your Dominion, beat your demons and see what will happen to us…”


	9. Chapter 08: Dance of Sword

It was easier to take the little paths, the snaking trackway losing themselves through forest and forest. It was just easier because they could say on Dumbass’ back. Perhaps it was harder because Lobelia struggled following his pace through the roots and the mud covered with frost, but at least, they could stay together in place and having to be conscious each time there was a village. Or a town.

They stopped to sleep, they stopped to eat amongst other natural needs but except that, they didn’t. They were just riding. Felix kept an eye on the road, or on the ghosts surrounding him, and Sylvain kept trying to solve those riddles. Sometimes, Felix took the papers, to ease his husband and also to try doing them himself but… he really was bad at it.

To be honest, having the help of a bandit was a pretty good thing: they were able to use every secret way allowing them to be always away from the tumult of the cities. Of course, they were Mercenaries and they weren’t oblivious of this but the truth was that… they had left Fódlan so long ago, they never learnt those paths… They could walk though Dagda, Mach and Brigid like shadows but not their homecountry…

And strangely enough… Miklan knew all the path of the Alliance. They might have been good for the Empire or Faerghus itself but Miklan knew how to join the Alliance without needing to pass by the Great Bridge of Mirddyn. Miklan knew a million of ways to pass from the Alliance to Faerghus… And from Enbarr, it was way easier to cross the Alliance to join the Gautier Dominion.

It had been three days since they had left Enbarr. Three days of riding… Whatever the wind, the rain and the snow. numbed. This didn’t stop Sylvain from hugging his husband though. One arm around him,

The coldness was snaking around them and their limbs were the other holding the papers that moved slightly in the wind.

Lobelia let out a whine and stopped moving.

Sylvain gave the papers to Felix and, still hugging him, he moved toward her.

“What’s happening, big girl?” Sylvain asked.

She let out another whine and Dumbass tapped his hooves on the floor with violence. Through the sounds and the turmoil, Felix turned his head toward the dense forest. He could hear the sound of the bushes being ruffled, pushed away. And, in the darkness of the wood covered with snow and making it glimmer… something else glimmered.

Eyes.

“It’s you…” a woman’s voice groaned.

A scarred hand moved from the bush and showed a poster with their face on it…

“Bandits…” Sylvain whispered.

Suddenly, Felix realized… having the help of a bandit wasn’t really a good thing. If he knew the discrete paths that no one knew except the bandits, it meant… other bandits knew about it.

Ruffling in the bushes told them they were more than this lady. Sylvain smirked as he watched the paper.

“So tell me… You have managed to solve that riddle?” he smiled.

“Sylvain…” Felix groaned.

“What? I wonder!”

“No,” the girl said, the sound of the other bandits approaching. “But who cares? Once we will have you, whoever wants you will come search their prize and give us ours!” she snickered.

Lobelia stepped backward with another whine. Sylvain jumped on the floor, coming toward his mare. Felix jumped on the floor, taking out his sword with a feral smile that shook his own guts.

“Come… I needed a bit of training,” he said.

The lady let out a laugh and whistled.

A fair amount of bandits came out from the woods. Felix preferred to fight them rather than counting them but they must be around fifty?

He heard Miklan cackling but whatever was going in his sick brain, he didn’t care much at this moment. His blade screamed for blood and his mind wanted a good fight because if the cold wind was numbing his limbs, Fódlan itself was numbing his mind…

The lady whistled again and a cloud of bandits dashed toward Felix. Which swirled on himself and make dance the blood with him as it splattered from the flesh he severed. He heard screams and yet, his sword kept finding an opponent, his fist itself joining this ballet where the yell was a terrifying chorus to accompany the dance… of death if they pursued that way.

One of the bandits tugged on the string of his bow, aiming right toward Felix’s throat, intending to open the side of it.

And the bow broke before a halberd threw him on the floor.

“No touchie, that’s my husband!”

The bandit looked up to see Sylvain smiling at him like a Demon. The halberd moved fast and the outlaw let out a shriek, rolling in the frozen mud and dashing away. Sylvain swirled on himself and threw his weapon, the edge opening the calf of another thief who felt, bringing two others in his fall. He saw Felix’s knee knocking down one of their opponent with a blow in the right place.

Felix threw his fist in a jaw, knocking down the bandit, swirled on himself, the edge of his sword making rain more blood.

Sylvain had to literally do nothing.

Just making sure his lover wouldn’t get a blow coming from somewhere unexpected.

He could just watch, enthralled by his deadly dance, that sword of him being just the following of his arm… No bandits could run away from this swift cat. Each of them were a prey to his eyes and they were falling under his blow, one after one.

Dumbass helped a bit at some point, throwing his head in a bandit and launching him on the swordsman who sliced the wrist.

In a matter of minutes, there was only blood and dirt around. And no one to even try fighting back. Everybody had ran away, ran from the wild cat that certainly could have followed them and took them down in a seconds. But he wasn’t a Boar, he wasn’t a Demon… he didn’t want their lives to dirty his hands.

He didn’t need to do such a thing.

He was barely breathing faster, barely sweating from the efforts.

“Well, well,” Sylvain smiled. “You’re getting old, you look exhausted!”

He approached him and pushed away a strand of dark hair sliding along his cheek. The wind, the movement had undone a bit his haircut and Sylvain moved his fingers to gently undone it completely, letting the hair slide down his back like a ink waterfall. Felix came on his tip toe to kiss him.

“I’m not. They were small fry. Next time I want to try, you better be my opponent. At least, with you, there is some challenge…”

Felix turned offering his back to his husband.

“Some challenge?” Sylvain laughed. “You always beat me so fast.”

“Not that fast.”

“You hold your blows,” Sylvain smiled. He gathered his hair in a bun and rolling that little braid of his haircut around it to secure it. And then, he pricked the arrow-stick in it. “If it wasn’t me, it would be all ended in a matter of seconds. You didn’t need me to fight Fleche and those monsters. And honestly… I’m sure I was more bothering you. Eh, here you are!” he added.

He pressed a kiss in his hair and then leaned to hug him, pressing his cheek against his. Felix moved his fingers, caressing the face covered with stubble. The same stubble that was scratching his cheek.

“You weren’t. They were stronger than expected. And the fact they didn’t die just like that…”

“You haven’t used your Crest. You could have.”

“But you asked me not to,” Felix replied.

“Mon amour…”

Sylvain leaned toward him to take his lips between his. Felix replied to his kiss.

“You know… Now that we’re here… we could spar,” Sylvain smiled.

“You always have the words to please me, uh?” He kissed him again, tenderly. “Thank you to stay by my side, always.”

“To have the right to see you, it’s so worth it. I’m just happy to be the arms you snuggle in; I’m just happy to be the ears you whispers tender words. And I certainly wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than here…”

“I love you… and I want you by my side. Always…”

“Always,” Sylvain swore.


	10. The only embrace

“I… I didn’t remember… Faerghus was that cold!”

They had walked through the Daphnel territory, avoiding the Valley of Torment because Miklan didn’t know any secret path around there… which wasn’t surprising at all. They had crossed the mountains between Daphnel and Galatea’s Dominion where Ingrid’s mind seemed to be more powerful. More pestering… She had come back from the Void so easily twice but Felix hadn’t the strength to support her presence, her insults, her reproach and her truth…

And then, they had moved toward Conand Tower, toward that place with so many bad memories for Sylvain…

And now, they were heading to the Gautier’s Dominion.

They should arrive in three or four days.

But the more they approached the Itha Plains that used to be the only little part of Gautier’s Dominion, the colder it grew.

Felix was afraid to enter in the Fraldarius’ Territory… What of his father grew stronger and pestered him.

He wasn’t sure he could deal with that…

Though… what if Glenn would be stronger too and could work on it easily?

“Cold? That’s far away from cold!!” Miklan protested.

“You are death, you can’t feel the cold anymore, you shut up!” Felix groaned.

“Miklan telling it’s not that cold, uh?” Sylvain smirked.

“Yes.”

“Not surprising. Remember we are from Sreng… Or for what people believe being from Gautier but has just been stole to my family… We grew in the coldness. We are accustomed to that. It’s not that cold for me neither…”

“I’m freezing,” Felix whispered.

Sylvain closed his arms around him.

Felix was glad he didn’t wear his armor because it sure would have been way more difficult for him. The coldness would have mercilessly attacked him.

Sylvain looked at his lips and at his fingers, coming through the mittens, knowing very well the first signs of cold lovingly embracing you to drag you in an endless sleep…

The lips were turning blue, the fingers black.

“Leaving the Archipelagos to walk directly toward Sreng at the cold season was a mistake…” Sylvain said under his breath.

“What?” Felix hiccupped.

Between the wind roaring at his ears and his teeth hitting each other, he barely heard anything.

“We will stop somewhere for the night!”

“Can’t we just… hurry?!”

“The more we will go toward that stupid Dominion, the colder it’ll be!” Sylvain reminded, talking loud enough to reach him.

“I know!” Felix closed his hand on his. Sylvain had a shiver: they were so cold… “But… I didn’t remember this to be that cold! I remember when I had to pass that stupid ‘test’ with the Boar!”

“What was it?” Sylvain asked.

“Ugh…” Glenn whispered.

You could guess he had to pass the test too. But Sylvain never talked about it, thought it might be his daily routine for him, and Ingrid never talked about it neither…

“Thrown in the mountains of Faerghus, we had to survive there! We were four or five?”

“You were a crying mess when you came back…” Glenn sadly remembered.

“I had to go with the Boar because… Because I suppose they didn’t planned to have Glenn such a wunderkind and be affected to his retinue! _I_ was supposed to be his squire. Bonded forever!” Felix let out a cold laugh. “Bullshit…”

Sylvain closed a bit more his arms around him if it was possible, bringing him close to his chest. He had just moved his hand a little to pass as much as the vest around his tiny body. He had let go of the reins but… he didn’t really need them to be honest. Animals were able to see through the veils of death and years after, Dumbass was still very close and obedient to Miklan. Thought… should he really trust Miklan? The coldness of their territory approaching, some fear came back. But for almost ten years, Miklan had taken care of Dumbass, and him when he was riding the proud destrier, so perhaps he should… just trust him a bit more.

And focus all his efforts on him.

“We will stop soon, mon amour.”

“I can handle more,” Felix replied. “We have to…”

“To nothing. We will stop for the night, eat something… The wind comes from the North, I wouldn’t be surprise that’s what make the day that harsh.”

“Sylvain!”

“Felix! Dumbass is made for the coldness but not Lobelia. So if you don’t care, can you care about my horse?”

Sylvain’s tone wasn’t angry. There were a little of reproach in his voice but, to be honest, Felix could tell it wasn’t a real reproach. More a way to make him react. Bring him back to reality and since a big part of Felix’s reality was Sylvain… of course his concerns would reach him. Felix knew how much Sylvain loved his horse…

Felix knew how much Sylvain loved _him_ but it was always harder to be responsible when it was about himself…

He didn’t respect himself much.

“Very well,” Felix groaned.

“Thank you.”

Sylvain leaned and pressed a kiss on his cheek tenderly.

The wind was really cold, impossible to deal with without shivering under its ruthless whip. Except when you were called Sylvain, it seemed… they approached a cavern. The snow was dripping from the mouth. In fact, stalactite were multiplying like crystal… Like a big monster’s mouth. If it was a Monster, truly waiting for something to eat, setting a trap, Felix would defeat it in a matter of seconds, so he had no hesitation before entering in this shelter.

“Mon amour, can you check if we have some wood or something left in a bag?”

“Yes.”

“Lobelia, come inside,” Sylvain called.

“Dumbass, come inside,” Miklan said exactly at the same time.

“Aw, so cute…” the Fraldarius said exactly at the same time.

“What?” Sylvain asked.

“You are just so much like your brother sometimes,” Felix smirked as he grabbed the bag on Lobelia.

He opened it and looked for the little wood and sticks they gathered for time like this. He grabbed a handful of them and installed them on the floor.

“Like my brother?”

“Yeah. He called Dumbass when you called Lobelia.”

Sylvain watched at the big horse that moved forward, entering in the cavern.

“I see… Nice to know we are the same. Two idiots, two desperate cases,” he smiled.

Sylvain felt coldness in his hair and he knew it was Miklan ruffling them. It eased him…

And he felt ridicule about it.

He moved toward Felix, crouched and busy to install the wood within a circle of cold stones he just made. Sylvain’s hand moved to the wood and sparkles and fire came from his palm, licking the branches and bringing instant warmth in the cavern. Was it enough for Felix? Well… Felix wouldn’t say anything… but to Sylvain’s liking, it wasn’t enough at all. He approached him and passed his arms around him, tugging him between his legs. He pressed a kiss on his cheeks. He whispered tender words in the language of Sreng just in the hollow of his ear while his hands closed around the tiny pale one.

“Thank you…” Felix whispered.

Sylvain pressed a kiss on his temple.

“You feel a bit better?”

“Yes… How could it be different? I’m in your arms…”

“So lovely…”

But Felix really believed it. It was so warm. The warmth of his body, of his arms, spreading through his skin and making boil his blood. That was certainly why his cheeks were always redder around him. That was certainly why he always had the feeling he could die of heat when he snuggled in his arms.

But honestly, it was the best, the tenderness corner of Heaven.

If Paradise existed, it could only be within Sylvain’s arms.

Sylvain certainly thought the same, but he believed it would be the Paradise as long as he would have Felix in his arms…

“You want to eat something?” Sylvain wondered.

“I want to enjoy a bit more your embrace… I don’t need much more.”

“Very well. But don’t dismiss eating. If you die of hunger, who will I kiss?”

“No one else,” Felix groaned, intertwining their fingers.

Sylvain smiled and kissed him. His body spread more warmth and Felix perfectly knew it came from his power.

“I like when you’re jealous,” Sylvain whispered against his lips.

“You hate jealous people…” Felix said under his breath.

“I will never hate _you_ ,” the redhead replied.

He kissed him again. Felix pressed their forehead together, taking more of his warmth. He didn’t know how someone like him, who grew up in such a cold family, who grew up in the coldness of a devastated country, someone like him who only knew coldness even from the love of his life could be… that warm. He had been able to break the prison of ice that trapped his heart when he lost his brother and believed he was turning mad. He had been able to warm him when the numerous losses were cloaking his mind. He always had been the hearth of the home they created together. He always had been everything…

Felix moved in his arms and snuggled a little.

His husband smiled and removed his vest to pass it around them, especially around Felix, making sure it wouldn’t take the fire.

“How it feels?” Sylvain asked, pressing a kiss on his forehead.

“Better,” Felix said under his breath. “You’re so warm.”

Saying this with delight, he nuzzled his chest, tenderly losing himself between those manboobs. Sylvain laughed and hugged him, caressing his hair.

“But you? You aren’t too cold?”

“I’m fine.”

“You gave me your vest years ago…”

“You loved it so much,” Sylvain smiled. “You always stole to me to sleep.”

He couldn’t help laughing has he remembered that. Felix switched a little to capture his lips between his.

“And now this one… My clothes are cold and so…”

Sylvain took his chin between his fingers, a wide smug smile on his lips.

“Then you should remove them?”

He winked at him and Felix frowned.

“I will bite you!”

“Kinky!” Sylvain laughed and landed kisses on his face. “I’m kidding, mon amour! You can remove them if you prefer though. You know I would do nothing to you except landing a rain of kisses on this pretty face of yours.”

“You must suffer from hypothermia already: you start to hallucinate!”

“Eh…” Sylvain leaned to kiss him. “Please don’t insult the love of my life. He’s the prettiest guy I never have seen.”

“Your state is really worrying,” Felix replied.

He pressed his hand on Sylvain’s forehead, making him giggle. Sylvain circled him with his arms and tugged him closer of his chest. Felix embraced his shoulders, pressing their forehead together and breathing in his smell. If Felix closed his eyes, enjoying the moment, the warmth, Sylvain was staring at him. Silent but smiling.

He let his fingers following his will, closing around the metallic arrow in his hair, releasing them.

“You’re insufferable,” Felix whispered as he felt his mane fell along his back.

“Couldn’t I?” Sylvain wondered.

“You could.” Felix rubbed his nose against his. “You know I trust you. I will always trust you,” he added, opening his eyes. Watching him directly in the eyes.

Sylvain gulped, blushing hard.

He cupped his face and leaned to kiss him again. And again. And again…

As much as he was warming Felix’s tiny body, Felix had always warmed his heart, his soul… his life.


	11. Chapter 10: Gautier's Dominion

Without surprise, Sylvain was reluctant to walk in the Dominion that had seen him grew up. Without surprise, Miklan wasn’t really happy neither and you could notice it with Dumbass’ reactions. Sylvain struggled to force him to move forward and, honestly, he wasn’t that sure he wanted to force him…

And not only because he really wasn’t ready to confront Lucas Ernest Gautier.

He didn’t like to force horses. He already didn’t like to send them to War and see them panics… That was the real reason why he took Dumbass instead of Lobelia in War. Not because he didn’t care for Dumbass but because the horse was more used to War. Lobelia should learn it but he hadn’t the heart to force her to do that, that thing he was so reluctant to do, when Dumbass was ready to carry him… them, to the end of the World…

“Soon, we will be there…” Sylvain whispered. He closed his arm around Felix. “Stay with me, okay?”

“You don’t feel shame?!” Rodrigue groaned. “Sylvain you can turn yourself toward what matter! Your Nation!”

“Shut up!” Felix yelled.

“What?” Sylvain hiccupped.

“What what?” Felix asked.

Sylvain stared at him with surprise and let out a nervous laugh. He leaned at his ear and whispered in it what he just said. Felix stared at him with horror. The words that have been ravished to him were so important. He knew the love of his father for the Chivalry and he still hated it since it stole his brother to him. Because it was non-sense! How is father could be delighted to have died for Dimitri?! For something _wrong_?!

He still believed the Boar wasn’t able to rule.

He still believed the way the Kingdom was ruled was stupid and that it could only do arms to the citizens the Nobles were supposed to protect. How often the commoners were training to become Knight? To get the _honor_ to die. It disgusted him. It disgusted him so much…

He wanted his father to understand.

He wanted him to understand he could have loved him if he didn’t try to ask him to die for ideals he didn’t even believe about…

And all of this was, once again, taking his mind away from what really mattered. The man hugging him and looking at him with a sad fox cub face…

“I’d be always by your side, Sylvain. Always…” He gently smirked. “I’d hold your hand if you want to.”

“Eh! Take care! I might say yes!” Sylvain laughed.

He kissed him, taking strength in his lips.

“Don’t let him do that!” Rodrigue protested. “Lucas is one of the last men ready to protect the Kingdom! You must not kill him!”

“Father!” Glenn said. “That’s enough… For all he did, his death would only be a relief.”

“What are you saying?!”

“Are you okay?” Sylvain worried.

Felix was twitching, struggling to concentrate on that tenderness they shared. That tenderness his Sylvain needed so much right now.

“Ghosts,” Felix replied. “It’s not important. You can babble about anything, I’m listening to you and I’m ready to support you.”

“You don’t have to support that. And I also want to protect you. Who?” he asked. “Because if it’s Miklan…” Sylvain sighed. “Well, I’d understood he would be whining he doesn’t want to go there and I’d support him so hard!”

He could feel the hand in his hair, ruffling a bit harshly though obviously trying to be gentle. And that coldness.

Miklan of course.

And how much he craved that new relationship, clumsy tenderness trying to find back what they had lost when Miklan started to hate him. And he still felt incredibly ridicule to crave this so much when his slumber was constantly soaked with the nightmares or what he did to him.

But…

But they were both suffering.

Miklan was hurting him. Sylvain was hurting himself as well.

Damn, he was a good scapegoat, isn’t it?!

He could try to forget that because they were both clueless victims who acted like idiots…

Of course he didn’t totally forgive and certainly couldn’t forget. He still tensed by moment but he also needed that relationship more than anything…

“Really you can babble if you want to, that will cover those whine,” Felix groaned.

“So… Rodrigue?” Sylvain guessed.

Felix deeply breathed for sole reply.

It was enough for Sylvain. He knew him like no one else would never know him. Glenn could try, he wouldn’t beat him in that field.

Sylvain pressed a long kiss on his temple. Perhaps babbling with him in his arm would be enough to ease him, yes. So he babbled. He babbled because it kept his mind away from the fear growing within him. He babbled because his babbling were just him telling in every way how much he loved his dear husband and he always was delighted when he could take out his heart to give it to the only person truly deserving it.

Dumbass was really reluctant, Sylvain as well and Miklan above this. And yet, he pressed them to go faster. Even more than Glenn…

Felix could have thrown a ‘it’s okay, we’ll save Holst’ but he was startled by a face looking at him.

He hadn’t noticed him before?!

“Step back…” he said.

Sylvain forced Dumbass to walk backward and the horse happily obeyed, shaking his head. Lobelia let out a whine as the dark butt hit her on the side and she stepped backward as well.

“Felix!” Rodrigue called.

“I thought who would have more time…” Miklan said with a gag.

“You will leave, now!”

Felix stared at the man who just talked, looking at him. Right in the eyes. Something prevented Felix to look away. As if he was hypnotized.

“You really think we will?!” Felix hissed. “I’m not a child. I’m not afraid of you! And if you touch my husband…”

His sentence was lost in the void. But his voice was so cold, his eyes so murderous, it was even more frightening that way.

“Felix…” Glenn said.

“Felix…” Sylvain let out.

“I’m telling this for you, not for me. Leave. Now! Or let that idiot dying…”

“I will end you!” Felix screamed out.

Miklan grabbed Glenn’s hand, holding it out toward the man. Glenn blinked and his fingers twitched.

The wind seemed to grow harder, colder.

“Felix?” Sylvain leaned on his shoulder and appeared on his field of view. “Are you okay?!”

The man vanished.

Just when Sylvain cloaked the view to him. But Felix had the time to see him vanishing… and he glanced at Glenn, his hand still in Miklan’s big hand. The bandit was full of anger, his eyes filled with fear. But Sylvain was okay? He was worried, of course, but it was because of him, not the man…

“He… he was dead?” he asked to Glenn.

Which fingers were closing around Miklan’s. He nodded.

“Yes… I just sent him in the Void…” Glenn whispered.

“Who?” Sylvain asked. “Eh… I’m here, Fe’… Everything will be alright, mon amour. I protect you…”

“I know you do. And I will protect you even more but… but it was your father,” Felix said.

“My…”

“That asshole is dead! And I will cover of love the genie who decided to remove this sack of shit from Earth! Hell! I will kiss their feet and anything they want!” Miklan growled. “Glenn will keep _it_ in the Void forever! Right Glenn?!”

Glenn pressed his hand in his. Pressed his both hands around his hand.

“Right… But then…”

“But then…” Felix repeated. “Who is behind everything?”

He was asking the question to Glenn, to Miklan, to his father in shock and even Ingrid if she was willing to reply. He was asking the question to his husband, still trying to process the information. Sylvain felt… he felt relieved and angered at once. He would have loved kill the man himself! But on the other hand… he wasn’t sure he would have been able to.

For years, the sole presence of the man had let him like a child, undergoing his abuses, his beating, turning black and blues because he couldn’t fight back. Even when he had the Lance of Ruin. Even when removing his own life had been a tasty threat… until Felix proved him wrong on this point.

“Can it be my mom?” Sylvain hiccupped. “I would bless her!”

“I doubt aunt Albertine would do such a thing,” Glenn protested.

Felix shook his head.

“Well… you probably right…” Sylvain recognized.

He knew his mother had slowly turned insane because of what his father did to them but… if she had to kill him, she would have done it earlier probably. When she still had sons to protect…

“The only way to know it is to get there…” Glenn said under his breath.

“The only way to know who is behind everything is to enter there…”

“Yeah,” Sylvain replied. “Now… Now I know _he_ isn’t there, I can go inside without problems. I need to know where is my mother.” He was about to climb down Dumbass but he stopped, his hand around the horn of his saddle. “Glenn…”

“Yes?” he asked.

Felix stared at his brother, frowning. Surprised of the way he was holding Miklan’s hand. And Miklan who was always so aggressive… was letting him do? Rubbing one of his hand with a shaking thumb.

“You will make sure Lucas can’t pester Miklan, right?”

“Why?” Miklan asked.

“Of course,” Glenn replied.

“Glenn says ‘of course’; Miklan is dumb and says ‘why?’”

Sylvain let out a sad laugh. He climbed down Dumbass and caressed his neck.

“When I was a child, I wanted you to protect me from him… I always came to you because I wanted…” He shook his head and held out his arms to Felix. “I can’t protect you myself but if I can make sure you will be protected…”

“I just can’t protect…” Miklan groaned. “I can’t love neither! I’m only born to make others suffer!”

“Miklan!” Glenn protested.

“He says he can’t protect nor love. Only destined to make others suffer.”

Felix moved to let the arms embrace him and help him slid down the big horse.

“You’re an idiot Miklan. And if you really believe you can’t protect or love, you can change that if you want to.”

“What told you I want to change?” Miklan sneered.

“What told me I want to change, right?” Sylvain asked, grabbing his halberd.

Felix nodded, also gathering his weapons, checking the dagger, securing the sword on his waist.

“You said you were sorry and you will try your best by glenning. So… Just try, Miklan.” He looked at Felix. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” Felix replied.

Miklan was groaning between them but Felix could sense there was a will within him. And he kept caressing his brother’s hand?! What the hell?

Sylvain moved forward and he opened the door. He used to live here so he knew how to unlock it even when he shouldn’t and he knew all the tricks to enter in. Even though he used to prefer running away that house…

But together, they entered inside. Sylvain first…

They were in the Mansion for less than one minute when guards arrived, their weapons rose.

“It’s me. Sylvain José Gautier.”

“Young Lord… what are you doing here?”

“I’m searching someone…” he replied. “But first, where is my mother?”

Felix looked around, trying to identify everything. He knew the place so well and yet, there was such a strange atmosphere.

Wait…

He moved toward a gueridon that wasn’t there before. Of course they could change everything here, why not. But… a bouquet of flowers. And some perfumed candles too…

“Your mother left two weeks ago. She came back to Sreng,” the guard announced.

“To Sreng?”

“Yes, she thought it was an opportuni…”

“Sylvain… whoever went to Enbarr is also here,” Felix warned.

Sylvain looked toward him and slightly nodded.

“I’m sorry,” he said to the guards.

He glanced at Felix then they walked toward the end of the corridor. He could have asked to the guards where was the guy, or whatever, but he didn’t believe they would know it. Could they have already run away like last time or…

They walked toward the end of the corridor.

They wondered if they could find the person they searched there. Whoever they were but…

Felix suddenly froze.

“What the…” Felix whispered.

“What?”

Sylvain turned his head toward him, worrying. His fingers gently brushed his cheek.

“Look!”

Felix pointed out someone who climbed down the stairs. The young Gautier complied and blinked.

“Okay… are we dead or can I see ghosts now because… That’s Glenn?”

“Yes, but I am here,” Glenn insisted, behind Felix.

He was still holding Miklan’s hand.

But that person coming down from upstairs was Glenn… But not like the Glenn Felix could see, froze the day he died, barely eighteen, his hair shaved in a side cut for the work he had. Because, even though he was a Knight since three years, he really could start to act as such for the first time…

The person threw them a look and then walked toward the big Throne Room.

That Glenn…

How was it possible…?

“He is dead, right?” Sylvain asked to Felix.

It was bad enough to ask that. How dare he ask ‘eh, your brother is dead, right?’ when he knew how much affection his lover had for Glenn.

“He is,” Felix said. “We follow him,” he decided.

Sylvain wouldn’t protest. He walked after him and they followed that Glenn… That Glenn who was clearly more aged that the ghost. His hair were longer which was a bit strange since he used to have a side cut and everything had grown at the same pace…

Strange enough? That Glenn kept the door open for them.

Sylvain and Felix glanced at each other. Then Felix stepped forward, his fingers closed around his sword. They came inside and stared at the person sat in the throne of Lucas Ernest Gautier… a long white dress, with a hole in the waist area, the skirt stained with red; long braided pink hair turning white in a strange gradient but especially… a Dragon’s head lying on their lap. They were caressing the Dragon and rose their eyes toward them when they arrived.

“Sylvain José Gautier, Felix Hugo Fraldarius… I was waiting for you.”

“Is it…”

“It’s Holst,” Miklan said under his breath.


	12. Chapter 11: Holst Prudentia Goneril

Thunder was echoing outside. A lightning made flash everything and just after… the room seemed to be so dark? When had it started to rain? In Sreng, rain was common, even in the desert, in hot season like in cold season and you would never understand how it worked… The people of Sreng said it was magic…

But it looked more like madness…

At this exact moment, neither Felix nor Sylvain knew what was the worst thing… The fact they thought they had to save Holst and, in the end, he was the one standing here in Lucas’ throne or perhaps them?

Them?

Glenn and Miklan.

But not the two who were standing behind Felix, still holding hands, but the two who were standing by Holst’s side. Both looked older than the Ghosts…

“Sylvain, be a lamb, and step aside,” Holst said, thunder roaring again.

Yellow sparkles invaded the room. And purple sparkles?

“Step aside?!” Sylvain protested.

“Yes. I have an important matter to discuss with Felix and you don’t need to watch it.”

“With Felix?” Glenn repeated.

Felix glanced at him. His brother had never been so panicked and devastated at once.

“You can walk over my dead body, then!” Sylvain groaned.

“Very well. Felix Hugo Fraldarius…” Holst pressed his fingers on the Dragon that rose their head. “I needed your blood.” He grabbed Freikugel that laid gently against the big throne. “And I’m going to spread it on the walls!”

“Wh…” Felix let out.

“Move away, now!” Glenn, the ghost, screamed.

Holst was fast. Extremely fast but Felix was faster and he managed to dodge the attack. But he saw the giant throbbing axe destroy the floor.

“Bunny!” Holst let out.

“Bunny?” Sylvain repeated as the lance swirled in his hand.

He moved, swift, toward Holst, ready to slide his skin and spread _his_ blood on the walls.

“Attack Sylvain!”

And the Dragon dashed toward Sylvain, grabbing him by his waist with their tail, throwing him against another wall.

“SYLV…”

“Felix!”

Glenn yelled but Felix had seen it and he managed to dodge the attack. Freikugel shattered the wall, the crack running to the ceiling.

“Don’t worry about him,” Holst said with a cold tone. “You’re the one who will pay!”

Holst tugged on the axe, deeply stuck on the wall, and Felix took the occasion. He dashed toward Sylvain. Which was dodging an attack from the Dragon and threw back the halberd on the thick armor of scale. The Dragon groaned and straightened of all their height, thunder sparkling behind them like a scary living paint.

Felix was about to slay the long neck when something grabbed his wrist and pinned him against the wall. Just at the moment the Dragon attacked and bit Sylvain’s shoulder, making stream blood along his arm.

Felix’s eyes opened widely. Not because of the smell of blood–of Sylvain’s blood!–but because of the man that was keeping him against the wall. Red hair, tall, big…

“M… Miklan?” he said.

“Not my Miklan!” Glenn warned.

Felix threw his fist in the big muscular head and still seemed surprised when he saw the body launched away under his strength. How was it possible?! He saw Miklan, the ghost this time, approach the body and… try to enter in?

“Felix!”

Felix turned his head, by instinct, even though it wasn’t Glenn’s voice. It was _that guy_ ’s voice. And purple lightning were coming around him, like beautiful and fairylike arc. And before he could realize, thunder was licking him. From inside.

“FELIX!” Glenn shouted. The anger seized him. “What the hell is happening?!”

“Holst thinks Felix killed _me_ …”

Felix stared at that new voice.

Hilda?

Crossing the ghost of his sister, Holst seemed to appear from nowhere and Freikugel asked for his blood. And was granted! Felix couldn’t help a yell as the axe opened his hip, destroying the precious vest but, especially, spreading blood on his leg and the floor. The violence and the chock combined threw Felix on his knee.

“Felix!”

Sylvain dashed toward his husband. Just at the moment Holst was lowering his axe, all surrounded of magic, to give the final blow on his prey.

At the second Bunny the Dragon saw him turn away, he does the same. A blue lightning came from his fangs and Sylvain rose this arms in front of Felix. Under the power of a Relic, the stick couldn’t hope much and broke. The axe entered Sylvain’s wrist, sprinkling blood on Holst’s face and pink-white hair.

“SYLVAIN!” Felix yelled.

He couldn’t move. The horror of seeing the blood streaming from his wrists, almost cut under the power. And that electricity shaking his body.

“GLENN, MIKLAN, DO SOMETHING!” he yelled.

“Glenn and Miklan are on my side!” Holst growled.

Felix’s finger twitched and electricity came from his arm, casting directly at Holst. The violence of the shock made fell Freikugel on the floor and Holst stepped backward. Purple sparkles came from him while Bunny groaned.

“I can’t…” Miklan said. Their Miklan. “I can’t protect…”

He couldn’t even enter that body that used to be his?! He couldn’t protect Sylvain while having swore it to him.

“Felix!”

Sylvain swirled toward Felix who stared his wrists with a hiccup. Could he even move them again?

“I’m… I’m so sorry…” Felix whispered.

Why did he always have to…

“Bunny…”

Holst’s voice echoed in the room. And the Dragon jumped toward them.

Immediately, Sylvain dashed to Felix, passing his arms around him and squeezing as hard as he could. Felix hiccupped when the blood of his husband colored his face. Again. No… Not again. This wasn’t the same. Sylvain was losing his limb, one after one. Because of him!!!

“I can’t use my magic!” Felix hiccupped.

Why he couldn’t?!

The sound of a breaking bones made a nausea seize Felix’s guts.

No… No!!!!

“I didn’t want that…” Holst said. “I just wanted to kill Felix but if it’s like that…”

Purple lightning hit them both. Sylvain tightened his arms around Felix, fighting against the horrible feeling that was shredding his guts.

“I won’t let… anyone… hurt you…”

“Sylvain!” Felix hiccupped. “If you…” He couldn’t fight against his tears. “Glenn!” He still couldn’t use his magic. And he didn’t understand why!!! “I can’t do anything, please!”

“I told you…” Holst started.

“You’re done,” Hilda said. “He has a Major Crest! Goneril Crest block any attack as long as he attacks first.”

The sound of breaking bones sung at Felix’s ears again.

He never had been unable to protect the one he loved and yet. Yet he was dying in front of him because he wanted to protect him? No! No!!

“Mon amour…” Sylvain said under his breath. “I believe in you.”

“Wh… what?!”

Sylvain yelled of pain as fire suddenly came from his back and hit both Bunny’s nose and Holst’s chest. Blood streamed from his lips.

“SYLVAIN!”

If Felix and Miklan yelled at the same moment, Glenn shook his head with despair.

“DO IT NOW, FELIX!!”

Felix stared his lover, his husband, the love of his life with panic and horror. But his brain managed to process the information and he threw thunder over Holst. Both him and Bunny yelled. And the room filled with purple lightning.

“You won’t win this!” Holst yelled. “I’ll make you pay!”

“Felix!” Glenn commanded.

“I… I know…” he whispered.

But Sylvain…

The Dragon moved their big mouth and Holst made swirl his axe, his left eye gleaming green. His face that used to be so lovely was now just incredibly frightening and his smile was beyond madness.

If he attacked…

But if Felix let Sylvain there he would die?!

“Fuck it!” Miklan screamed.

Felix saw him put his hand on Sylvain’s heart.

“What are you doing?!” Glenn screamed.

“Improvisation!”

Sylvain’s face started to gleam red. Just at the chin and across his face. He hiccupped as image blasted in his mind. Feelings. Fear. He didn’t want to die… He wanted to live. He had to go back to Goneril’s territory. He promised it. He didn’t want to see the pretty face covered with tears again…

Wait! It wasn’t his thoughts.

Those harms… those harms Lucas wasn’t doing him… it wasn’t the one he remembered.

He felt his body changing. Grew, stronger, bigger…

It wasn’t his thoughts, it wasn’t his memories…

“I’ll protect him this time!”

Miklan’s voice…

He hadn’t heard Miklan’s voice since so many years. He didn’t remembered it so soft, so loving…

And the memories, the feelings, kept throbbing in him.

“Syl… Sylvain?”

Sylvain looked down. Felix was so tiny? What the hell?

“It’s fine, Fe’!” he swore. “I don’t even suffer anymore!”

And it was true!

Wait… was he… dead?

He heard a hiccup. And a confused growl… a growl? No… he could _understand_ it.

“What is this thing? Why have you that energy I hadn’t felt since ages…”

Wait…

It was the Dragon?

He understood the Dragon…

He looked down again. Not only at Felix who stared at him with fear and relieve at once but also at his hand. His… paw?

“ _I didn’t expect that…”_ Miklan’s voice echoed in Sylvain’s mind.

“ _Miklan!!!”_

_“Sylvain… Sylvain! I really didn’t expect you to turn… that way. My bad.”_

_“You kidding? It’s perfect! I will protect Felix with that!!”_

Sylvain swirled on himself, the long tail gently brushing Felix’s waist.

“ _Wait!! Not Holst!”_

But it wasn’t Miklan’s protestation that stopped Sylvain from protecting his husband… It was Bunny who jumped on him with violence, knocking his head against the wall. Sylvain growled.

“You won’t touch my Friend!” the Dragon yelled.

“You won’t touch my Husband!” Sylvain protested.

And his fangs went for the throat. The Dragon’s claw entered his flesh.

“Felix! If you really want…” Glenn whispered.

“Give me a hand…” Felix said between his teeth.

“Yes…” his brother said under his breath.

Sadly.

Taking his sword, Felix dashed toward Holst, staring at the two Beasts fighting in a clear disarray. Felix’s sword opened his wrist, just like he dared to do so to Sylvain. Holst stepped backward and his lips turned into a feral smile as he watched him. Felix landed a new attack but Holst dodged it, still smiling. The electric arks around them hit Felix and he gritted his teeth but his belly started to shine blue. He heard Glenn hiccupping but a glimpse toward him allowed Felix to know he was activating his Crest too.

He dashed toward Holst, dodged his attack, passing under the axe and his sword run through Holst, opening his belly and making him cough blood.

Bunny growled and jumped toward Sylvain, smashing his head in the floor.

“Nice move,” Holst whispered.

Felix hiccupped when he felt the axe in his chest.

“FELIX!!! Don’t let him activate his Crest!!”

“You said he was in danger!” Felix yelled.

He tried to retrieve his sword but Holst smiled, even more feral, holding the sword in his belly.

“He is! He is not like that!”

Sparkles came around and made shiver Felix of pain.

Holst’s eye opened widely.

“FELIX!”

Lightning came from Felix, hitting them both. Holst let out a laugh, blood splattering from his lips now adorned with the most gothic and creepy lipstick…

“Honey…” Holst whispered.

“Glenn!!” Felix called.

“I’m so sorry, Holst…”

Their Crests activate on the same time. Two Fraldarius Crest for a final blow. And Glenn’s body shivering because he just didn’t want it to be the end!

Of any of them.

“You can’t win!”

Holst’s axe swirled in the big room repaint in red. Felix let go of his sword and dodged the attack but it opened his right arm anyway. From the shoulder to the hollow of the elbow. He stumbled backward and Holst removed the sword, throwing it on the floor. He moved his hand to send thunder through his body, closing the wound. He walked toward Felix without twitching.

“Thank you for the blood… But for what you’ve done, I will kill you! How dare you! How dare you having taken away the last light of my life?!”

“You… You’re completely insane!”

Sylvain growled and jumped toward Holst. Once again, Bunny smashed him against the wall. In such a way, it almost appeared like the two gigantic Beasts rolled between them like two vicious cats.

Felix stepped backward and Holst just laughed. His face was covered with black and red. He was crying, spreading make up all over his face. And his Crested eye was bleeding.

“I will kill you… Freikugel…”

“Felix…” Glenn whispered.

“I can’t!” he replied. “I HADN’T KILLED HILDA!” Felix yelled to Holst. “I killed my father! I killed my friends but I hadn’t killed Hilda!”

“LIAR!!”

“MIKLAN!!” Glenn called.

Sylvain’s tail held out, whiping toward Holst. But Bunny jumped on it as if it was a Dragon and the lightning coming from them, mirroring those from outside, hit Sylvain, making him yell of pain.

“Now, it’s over…”

The floor started to shake. Holst swirled on him, the throbbing relic in his hand. The axe shone bright. And the floor crumpled on itself, shaking, and projecting stones around covering itself with flames. As if the Apocalypse just landed in the Throne Room of Gautier’s Dominion.

Bunny immediately took off but Sylvain yelled of pain and despair. He just saw Felix who had been thrown against the wall. He saw the blood against the wall.

No, no, no, no!

Sylvain dashed toward him through the flames and was struck by lightning. Bunny dashed to him. Sylvain’s anger grew and he smashed down the Dragon with his paw. Immediately, his claws and his fangs searched for the weak points.

Holst walked through the flames, the edge of his dress taking fire, coming toward Felix who couldn’t move anymore, his back lying against the wall.

Felix saw the gleaming green eye and his cold laugh turned into a hiccup.

“Go on…” he whispered. “Kill me…”

Holst knelt in front of him.

“Leave… Sylvain… alone,” Felix asked. “But… Kill me… if you want to…”

“No…” Glenn said under his breath.

“FELIX!”

Sylvain pressed his claws in Bunny’s neck. Holst turned his head with a yell.

“ _SYLVAIN, NO!!”_

Even though Sylvain wanted to kill the Dragon, dig his claws deep inside, he couldn’t. Something was holding back his paw.

_“Miklan!! You think I’ll let him kill Felix?! Fuck you!”_

“What are you waiting?! Kill the other before playing with Felix!”

Holst looked at Glenn who just screamed that to him. Not the real Glenn. That strange puppet that did almost nothing for the whole fight.

“Gl… Glenn? Ki… Killing Sylvain?” he repeated.

Felix took this opportunity. He grabbed the arrow in his hair and stabbed Holst, at the heart level. But not deep inside. Thought one pressure and it would be done… The man turned his head toward him as the hair fell done taking in the wind provoked by the flames all around…

“Glenn?”

“Felix, I’m so sorry, let me…”

Felix nodded and saw his brother place his hand on his heart. He felt him enter within him. He felt the turmoil of his feelings. The fear of dying while the Tragedy, hating himself because he would never protect again his baby brother. Because he was a bad Knight. He saw also his years at Garreg Mach. The resent against the ring he had to wear at his finger because he had to marry Ingrid. His love and worries for Sylvain. Him begging Miklan to calm himself and leave Sylvain alone. Hugs… kisses…

“ _Glenn…”_

Glenn sent him positive feeling, soothing.

“Holst… my Holst… Please… That’s not me and that’s not Miklan! Make Bunny stops, come back to yourself. That’s not you! I don’t want to hurt you but if you kill my baby brother… If you touch baby Sylvain…”

Glenn didn’t finish his sentence but you could feel the ghost of a cruel ‘how could I love you’ simmering in those words.

“Glenn?”

“It’s me. And I’m dead. Nothing can bring me back.”

Holst stared at the blood streaming along the wall. He moved his hands and sparkles came from his fingers. Felix groaned when they hit him.

“I’m so sorry… I can’t… can’t control it…”

“I know,” Glenn said. “It’s fine…”

“It’s fine…” Holst repeated. Magic came from his fingers, healing the wounds. “Felix won’t die… I’ll give him my energy…”

Bunny let out a long wail, launched Sylvain against the wall and walked toward Holst. But froze suddenly and swirled on themselves to attack the dummies.

With his brother’s hands, Glenn grabbed Holst’s cheeks, caressing them softly and looking him right in the eyes. Something that startled Felix and made him extremely uncomfortable. Just for that, his brother was more courageous and skilled than him…

How could he do that?!

“Don’t say such things! I don’t want you to die neither!”

“What am I supposed to do then?!” Holst hiccupped blood and his make up spread even more on his cheeks as tears rolled over. “If this is all wrong… If this is all wrong and neither you nor Miklan is there with me?! If Hilda can’t come back! What am I supposed to do?!”

As he yelled, the sparkles and lightning grew bigger and he moved away.

“I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry,” he said through his tears.

He felt something long around his waist and turned his head to see a big Monster leaning over him and pressing their nose against his temple. He could see the scars shine… He had caressed and kissed every of them.

“Miklan…”

The Beast growled something.

 _“He can’t hear you!”_ Sylvain protested.

And yet, he heard Holst gently laugh, wiping his cheeks.

“ _He and Bunny are connected… Through Bunny, he can… Just give me a few seconds, Sylvain. I will give you back your body. Until the next time I’d need to protect you. I won’t let anything happen to you. Not anymore. But give me a few seconds…”_

_“Yeah…”_

“Holst…” Glenn whispered. “Your life isn’t us. It isn’t Hilda neither…”

“But it is,” Holst protested.

“You know it’s wrong. They have used your weakness but you are better than what they forced you to become. You don’t hate people, you love them! No matter how stupid, mean or desperate they are. And you save them… I know they can’t have removed who you are…”

Bunny approached, cautious about the whole situation.

“What am I supposed to do?” Holst whispered. “How can you… I almost killed your brother…”

“Yeah… But I forgive you. It wasn’t your fault. I won’t let them remove what is good in you. I’ll wait for you, no matter what.”

“I will wait for you too,” Miklan said, pressing his nose against the hollowed cheek.

“Perhaps I don’t want to wait…” Holst said. He removed the metallic arrow from his flesh, staring at the edge gleaming with his own blood. “I should have done that first!”

“Sunshine!!”

Holst blinked and looked at the Monster as soon the words echoed in his mind through Bunny.

“Don’t do that! There is still a lot to do for you! You really believe you need us? _We_ needed you! You can do so much! Give yourself the chance they took away from you…”

Holst slightly nodded, closing his hands along the metallic arrow.

“I love you…”

“I love you too,” Glenn swore.

“And you know how much I love you, my Sunshine, my Queen…” Sylvain could feel his body changing slowly. He was taking back the full possession of it. “ _And I love you, Princess… Sorry it took so long.”_

Sylvain hiccupped and, at the second he was able to move correctly, he hiccupped even more of pain because a body launched on him.

“Sylvain!”

“Calm, mon amour… Please,” Sylvain said between painful laugh.

He moved his hand to caress the long untied mane. His eyes widened. Wait! He could move his wrists!!

“Sylvain! I thought you… Idiot! How dare you put yourself in danger like that?!” Felix screamed.

Sylvain smiled and caressed his cheek covered with blood.

“And you?”

“I don’t know what I would have done without you!” Felix protested.

Sylvain could see the tears in his lovely eyes. He pressed their forehead together. “Thanks, Sothis… we’re alive…” he whispered.

Felix hugged him with despair and tenderness. He wanted to whisper ‘please, never let me alone’ but he couldn’t even form one word. If he did so, he would break in sobs and he couldn’t show such a weakness.

“You are sure you’re okay?” Felix asked.

Sylvain nodded. “I don’t know what happened… I would have been unable to move m y hands and now… When Miklan fused with me…”

“That transformation must have healed you…”

Felix took his hands to observe them. You could see the scars, the redness. And Sylvain let out a moan as Felix manipulated them, a bit harshly like always especially when he was under very strong emotions. The swordsman stared at him.

“I’m fine!” Sylvain said. “It just hurt a little… Which is more than acceptable knowing what happened!” he quickly added.

“You’re still an idiot! Remove your clothes!”

“Uhuh!” Sylvain smiled.

“I’m going to hit you, I swear to Sothis!”

“I’m kidding, mon amour!” Sylvain laughed. He pressed his lips against his and gently removed Miklan’s vest and the other layers of clothes. “But honestly, I’m more afraid for you. I thought you’ll die…”

“I was about to die… But he healed me… Everything was turning…foggy,” Felix tried to explain.

He checked the wounds.

“Fe’…”

“I’m fine.”

“If I’m forced to do a striptease for your pretty eyes, I want to see you naked to check your scars as well!”

“To check my scars, yeah, yeah…” Felix gently smirked. He leaned to press their forehead together. “I was just… Never do that again, okay?” he said under his breath.

“I can’t swear it. I will always do my best to protect you. I can’t live without you, Fe’.”

“I can’t neither!” Felix protested.

“But if I die, you will be able to see me…” Sylvain said under his breath.

Felix shook his head. “If you die, I die. That’s all.”

“Fe’…”

“We promised it.”

“Then I’ll die and you would join me soon after.”

As Sylvain pronounced those words, Felix got a relieved grin.

“Je t’aime, mon amour…” Sylvain whispered.

Felix kissed him again. He snuggled in his arms. He just needed it a little more. He just needed to feel him and knew he was real. Knew he was alive…

He would have kissed and hugged him ever more if he could have…

“You feel able to leave?” Felix asked.

“Yes. The question is… do you?”

“I’m fine…”

Felix got up and held out his hand toward his husband. Which grabbed it, gently kissed the ring he was keeping at his finger, and then let him help to get up. Holding his hand, Felix walked toward the exit. Sylvain followed and held back a groan. His whole buddy was really hurting him. But after everything that happened… he was glad to be able to touch Felix, caress that hand he was holding, squeeze gently his fingers…

His hands were really made to love.

To love _him._ So he would have been devastated if he couldn’t gently caress his pale face, push away a strand of black hair to offer a clear view of his beautiful eyes…


	13. Matter of Blood

The thunder was still roaring outside but the coldness of Faerghus, the coldness of _Sreng,_ had taken the relay and the rain had turned into snow. Flakes were gently falling, calling back the strange mud the snowdrift had been changed to and making something totally frozen and a bit scary to be honest.

Felix wasn’t really ready to come back in that coldness. Except if he could be hugged by Sylvain, of course.

But still…

For a second he thought they could stay here… but even if Glenn would keep away Lucas’ ghost, it wasn’t the good place for that. How Sylvain could rest when the true ghosts were living in his mind and this domain would only remind them to him.

His hand on the threshold of the door leading to the corridor and the liberty, Felix stopped. Sylvain looked at him with surprise.

“Mon amour?”

“You don’t come?” he asked.

Sylvain frowned.

Still kneeled on the floor, looking very pitiful although he was covered with their blood, Holst looked up toward him.

“Me?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“An opponent who almost manage to beat me? I want him in my side. I look forward the day I will win over you, one day.”

“Felix!” Glenn softly laughed.

“Where you often winning over Glenn? Because I always lost over him.”

“Uh… yeah, I… I won over him.”

“All the time,” Glenn sighed.

“Him and Miklan. They always wanted to fight,” Holst said with a soft sigh. “The first months at least.” The man looked at his Dragon who let out a strange sound. Almost a purr. “You… really want me to come?

“Why not? I told it to you: an opponent stronger than me interest me grandly. Friend, enemy… it’s the same for me. However, at first we came because Glenn wanted us to save you.”

“Glenn… wanted you to save me?” Holst repeated.

Emotion vibrated in his voice.

“Me too…” Miklan groaned under his breath.

Glenn snickered.

“Miklan too,” Felix said.

Holst smiled but looked down, hiding his face, the tears rolling on his cheeks.

“And… uh… We will need you, Holst,” Sylvain informed.

“Need me?”

“You know who is behind all of this.

Holst shook his head.

“How’s that ‘no’?”

“I’m not sure,” Holst replied. “It was… Glenn helped me.”

“But Glenn…” Felix started.

Holst nodded. “I think someone was manipulating him. They were just corpses… But they were everything I had.”

Sylvain let go of his lover and walked toward Holst.

“How did it happen? What brought them back in your life?”

“I…” Holst pressed his lips together. “Four years ago, when Hilda died…” He sniffed and wiped his cheeks. “I wanted to conserve her body and… I asked help. I’d give money to anyone helping me not to lose her… So _he_ arrived. Volkhardt Von Arundel…”

“Volkhardt Von Arundel?!”

Felix tensed when he heard the voice of his father and he approached his husband, pinching his lips. His body was hurting him and walking was difficult. He should sit but he didn’t want to show his weakness. However… Sylvain knew him. Despite the pain in his wrists, shoulders and… everywhere, he passed his arm around Felix and pressed his lips against his temple.

“Volkhardt Von Arundel?” Felix repeated.

Holst nodded. “He managed to conserve her body as it was… for years. And swore me, if I found the one who had killed her, he could use their blood to relive her. After a moment, I was done with his lies and his manipulations…”

“His manipulations?!” Rodrigue hiccupped.

Felix tensed even more.

“And I told him to leave. And he came back with Miklan and Glenn…”

“Because you loved them both.”

Holst nodded. He looked down at his hand covered with blood. Looked at the red spread over two rings.

“I married them three years ago… I…” He hiccupped. I didn’t know it was all fake!”

He moved grabbed his fingers, tugging on the rings.

“Don’t let him do!”

Felix was too startled by Ingrid’s voice to react and he blinked when the two rings bounced on the floor, rolling toward the Dragon who let out a little moan.

“It was all manipulation! After that, Balthus left me and it only remained Glenn and Miklan! Glenn was very eager to unify the Alliance. He said I should rules it and…”

Felix heard Miklan groan at the mention of Balthus, but he also heard his sad ‘Sunshine’ as the General of Legend started to cry again, purple lightning coming from him. Holst passed his hands in his hair turning white.

“I’m so sorry!” he said. “I can’t control myself! I…”

“This isn’t your fault…” Felix said.

“It is! I should control myself…”

“This isn’t your fault,” Felix swore, with a harsher tone.

Sylvain threw a gentle look at his lover, walked toward Holst despite the pain, and knelt by his side, passing his arms around him.

“N… No!” Holst hiccupped.

“Huuuush, it’s fine,” Sylvain told him.

“I don’t want to hurt…”

“I know,” Sylvain replied, hugging him a bit more. “Breath slowly…”

Holst’s body shivered, the sparkles still coming from him and tears rolling on his cheeks. He tried to breath but it was so hard.

Felix slowly let his body go to the floor. He couldn’t stand anymore. His wounds were aching him despite the healing Holst had performed on them. When he was breathing, his belly was making him suffer. At first, it wasn’t much but the more he breathed, the worse it became.

“I’m sorry…” Holst whispered.

“You don’t have to be sorry…” Sylvain swore, gently caressing his hair.

“Felix! Volkhardt was the King’s stepbrother! Is he sure this was Volkhardt?!”

Felix wanted to press his hands on his ears but he felt like he wouldn’t even be able to lift his arms.

“Father…” Glenn started.

“What that guy was looking like?” Felix asked. “That Volkhardt?”

Holst pressed the heel of his palm under his eyes. He sniffed and Sylvain hugged him a little more.

“It’s an elegant man with long black hair and purple eyes. He had a beard and pierced ears… “

“It looks like him,” Rodrigue said. “But it’s not possible! Arundel was a good man! He was very pious and gave to the Church.”

“How have you managed to trust him?” Sylvain gently asked, ignorant of the turmoil his husband was suffering.

“I didn’t trust him… I was very doubtful of him. But I trusted Glenn and… and if that Glenn was a fake Glenn… Then…”

“Do you think someone could have used him? Do you think that man could have used him?” Sylvain asked.

Holst nodded. “I needed them. I needed them so hard, I decided to believe whatever they were willing to give me… But it wasn’t them… It wasn’t their way to talk. Sometimes, they didn’t talk for days. Weeks… And I thought it was me. I thought I did something wrong…”

“And so, you’d do anything ‘Glenn’ wants?” Sylvain asked.

Holst nodded once again.

“I want that asshole to be destroyed,” Glenn groaned.

“Glenn!” Rodrigue protested.

“What?! I won’t lick the boots of someone who hurt someone I love! I don’t care if it’s the King’s stepbrother! Have you seen how he hurt him?! Used him?! I don’t care who he is! If he hurts someone I love, I’ll kill him!”

“He changed…”

Felix let out a moan when he heard the voice. He moved his painful arms to press his hands over his lips, red of shame…

“Fe’!”

Sylvain immediately got up, letting go of Holst, to come to his husband. As he knelt by his side, Felix could see the pain within him. He leaned his forehead against his shoulder because he needed it so much… Sylvain closed his arm around him and pressed kisses on his face. Felix watched at him with tenderness, pressing his cheek in his palm.

“Felix, my Uncle changed years ago. And I believe…”

Felix shivered.

“Felix?!” Sylvain asked with worries. “Glenn? Please!”

“No… I can bear it,” Felix whispered.

“Bear what?”

Worries filled Sylvain’s voice.

“The Boar…”

Sylvain’s eyes widened. He moved his hands to press them on Felix’s ears but his husband stopped him from doing that. He watched at him with determination and tenderness. He was so grateful for him…

“My Uncle was just as Rodrigue described him. Until a few months after the Tragedy… He changed. He stopped donating, he was colder. And first time we saw, he hadn’t recognized me.”

“You Crested fool are so pretentious!” Miklan groaned. “Wait… who wouldn’t recognize the fucking future King of Faerghus?!”

“That’s the question,” Dimitri said.

Felix squeezed Sylvain’s hands.

“The Boar said the man had changed… After the Tragedy of Duscur…”

By some weird instincts, Felix and Holst glanced at each other. Without crossing each other stare, thanks to Felix efforts to always do his best not to watch anyone in the eyes. When he thought Glenn had the audacity to watch that guys in the eyes with _his_ eyes!!

“That Volkhardt didn’t even recognize the Boar. Beside being his uncle by the blood… The Boar is the King and so…”

“It was someone else,” Sylvain said. “That’s like that Cornelia girl. How the hell she was still so hot so many years after? She saved the Country from that Pest and twenty years after, damn…” Felix stared at him. Sylvain smiled and kissed him on the corner of the lips. “She should have been happy I was only seeing you or I would have been so annoying she would immediately have killed me!”

“And I would have killed her,” Felix replied under his breath.

He wanted to lean and kiss him and, while being used to the presence of the Ghosts, always lurking and testimony of their love, he couldn’t do it. Holst was there.

“What was she?” Glenn asked.

“Do you know anything?” Sylvain asked to Holst at the same time. “About Volkhardt.”

“I… Yes!” Holst said. “A bit after Balthus left me and I had unified the Alliance, he brought me somewhere. I couldn’t see anyone. Just Glenn, Miklan, Hilda and Volkhardt… Sometimes one or two people but…” Holst shook his head then watched at Bunny lied on the floor. “But we know where it is.”

“Do you feel ready?” Felix asked to Sylvain.

Sylvain smiled. “Always!!” he said with excitation.

Felix pushed his husband’s chest, making him fell on his butt and moan of pain. “Ready, uh?” he smirked.

Sylvain sighed and, letting the pain invade him, he turned his head toward Holst.

“By the way… Why those riddles?”

“Excuse me?” Holst asked.

“I think it was very smart and I was about to get them, really but… why using riddles to find us? Not that with a Dragon and your powers you could be afraid of anyone like that…”

“Excuse me, Sylvain… I don’t understand what you’re saying? I don’t know about what you’re talking.”

“The riddles. On the other side of the warned poster?”

“Oh, the posters! No, not me. I took one for when I’d find you when I wanted to protect you.”

“Why?” Felix asked.

Wasn’t it ironic? Knowing he had tried to kill them…

“Isn’t it obvious?” Holst replied.

“Should it be? You tried to kill Sylvain!”

“It wasn’t in my intention!”

“But you tried to kill me!” Felix countered with a smirk.

Holst looked away.

“What have changed?”

“He told me you killed Hilda and I needed your blood.”

“Volkhardt Von Arundel?” Sylvain made sure.

Holst nodded. Once again. He was squeezing his wrist with his hand.

“I wanted to protect you both, because you mattered for your brothers and…”

“You can’t know that,” Sylvain cut short.

“He didn’t know it but I did,” Holst countered. “He just couldn’t realize and admit it. But he cared for you…”

“I love this man…” Miklan let out without even realizing it.

“I was supposed to keep you alive…” Holst pursued.

Felix showed himself with a finger.

Once again, Holst nodded. He seemed to be more and more shameful as the seconds and questions passed.

“But I was so mad of anger and… and I just wanted Hilda to come back.”

“She won’t come back,” Felix said.

“I just wanted to…” Holst’s fingers pressed against the floor, shaking “I’m sorry…”

Sylvain looked at Holst but he couldn’t let go of his husband. Not in such a situation where he still was able to feel him shake…

“They wanted you alive…” Sylvain repeated.

“Yeah,” Felix shrugged back.

He was tired. Now, he wanted to get up and just leave. They could move away now. They got Holst: they paid their debt to Glenn. As for the Fate of Fódlan? Did he really care for that? He just wanted to do a favor to his brother but knowing that he didn’t want to save _the_ world but _his_ World…

Even though, he really was offering Holst to join them because he craved to win against such an opponent one day!

Also craved to know more about his brother.

This… Miklan, Holst… it was things he hid him. And he believed he knew everything about Glenn… What an idiot.

“They wanted you alive! But they say to Holst they wanted your blood!” Sylvain said, getting up.

He started to stroll.

The expression of pure pain spreading over his face as he moved, pretending he didn’t suffer, just grabbed Felix’s heart.

“Sylvain!”

“Because obviously,” Sylvain pursued as if he hadn’t been interrupted, “they want your blood. Why anyone would want your blood? Because almost no one has a Major Crest… less again from birth. But you…”

Felix frowned. “That’s stupid. Why would they…”

“Flayn,” Sylvain cut short. “Back at Garreg Mach, _they_ wanted Flayn’s blood. Because her blood was so unique! I talked with Linhardt about that once and… her Crest wasn’t like ours. In fact… it didn’t look like a Crest to his opinion… more like a magic within her. A pure magic. That’s the reason why they wanted her blood.”

“It’s nonsense… Back this time, those who attacked Flayn were the Flame Emperor and the Death Knight. But those were Edelgard and Jeritza and they are by our side!”

Holst let out a sound, preventing himself to talk or comment. Sylvain, who was still pacing up and down like a Blue Lion in cage, looked at him. Holst shook his head immediately.

“What?” Sylvain asked.

He gritted his teeth under the pain.

“Please, stop walking!” Felix yelled.

“I was about to say how horrible Edelgard was but I’m not sure I can give an opinion.”

“You were on our side while the War…” Felix relieved.

Rodrigue cleared his throat.

“Not really,” Holst said. “When Ladislava was sent in my dominion I took the decision to surrender to protect the citizens. They couldn’t face Civil War in addition of the War we were facing. I never sided with Edelgard and when they asked me to…”

“You attacked her,” Felix cut short.

Holst’s nod was barely seeable. Shame was marking his features.

“It’s Edelgard…” Sylvain whispered.

“The bad guy?” Felix asked.

“No! I’m pretty sure those are ‘Those who Slither in the Dark’ as Hubert called them. The Agartans, it seemed so. I learnt one day, in the Abyss, that my family was bonded to them…” Sylvain looked at his hand, as if he wondered if that blood could throb in his veins. “My father’s family…” He shook his head. “Anyway! I’m talking about the riddles. It’s Edelgard.”

“Are you sure?” Felix asked.

Sylvain nodded. “I never managed to solve the riddle because some point looked so… abnormal? But thinking about Edelgard, everything makes sense and become clearer. She was searching us… Edelgard made that riddle because she guessed…”

Felix frowned with a pout.

“What?” Sylvain asked.

“He jealous,” Holst gently mocked.

“Aw baby!” Glenn snickered, pinching his brother’s cheeks.

Felix pushed him away, which looked extremely weird if you didn’t know about his power, and get up.

“Edelgard knew you were smart? Perfect! I don’t care! But if it’s her, can it help you solving the riddle?”

Sylvain smiled and came to him, hugging him. “You’re so adorable,” he whispered at his ear.

Felix looked away, folding his arms.

Sylvain gently kissed the lob and pressed his forehead against his temple.

“I love you,” he swore in the secret of his eardrum.

“And what do we do now? Sreng?”

“Edelgard isn’t in Sreng! I have to check but I have an idea where she is. There were some words I wasn’t sure about,” Sylvain said, letting go of him to walk toward the door. Painfully. “But now, if I think of the way she talked. Of some stuffs you were telling me…” He turned toward his lover. “If we leave now, we can join her in one week. If she hadn’t left.”

“You want to join her?” Felix repeated, confuse.

“Yes!”

“Very well… but why?”

Sylvain sighed and approached him, cupping his cheeks with such a vibrant love, Felix was sure everybody could _see_ it.

“Isn’t it obvious? Those Agarthans want you… And if that’s what they want, they will get me… and that stupid Lance of Ruin in their heart!” Sylvain announced with a passionate, but frightening, tone. He leaned, pressing a kiss on his lips, pressing their foreheads together. “As long as I’d be alive, no one will touch you. No one will take you away from me.”

“Sylvain…”

Felix’s heart was throbbing. So hard. Aching. It was barely supportable and perhaps that love was the reason why he threw his arms around Sylvain and kissed him passionately.

Even if Holst and his Dragon could watch.


	14. Chapter 13: Tell me

Where did his father put the Lance of Ruin?!

Sylvain’s body was hurting. So hard… but he needed to find the Lance of Ruin…

It was so weird to walk in those corridors… Like that. With his husband. And… Miklan’s lover?

Before leaving the room, he had noticed Felix took something on the floor. His reaction was so weird, he guessed Glenn had asked him to do so. And now… now he realized there was something between Glenn and Holst, right? His brother and the one he wished being his brother both went with him? He had so many questions but the most stupid he had right now was ‘is Miklan watching over me or over this guy?’

Holst had tried to kill them but… but he didn’t look like someone bad. Hell! He had heard so many legends about this General. The Best of Fódlan and he really seemed like he was. Plus, at Garreg Mach, he was good friend with Hilda and she talked so often about her brother. Inside, he couldn’t help smirking because he remembered she told him her brother would try to destroy him just if he saw his face.

She wasn’t wrong.

At all…

Sylvain had gone to the treasure room and the weapon room… Nothing. There was no Lance of Ruin. Now, he was standing in front of his father’s room.

Well… his parents but… in his head it was really the place where his father reigned and frightened him…

Still today…

“Do you want Glenn to go look?” Felix asked.

“What?! I can’t ask him that!”

“You’re not asking him,” his husband swore. “He is offering it to you.”

“Really?”

Felix nodded.

“Okay… I’m sorry, Glenn.”

Sylvain could feel his hand on his cheek, gentle and tender. He closed his eyes and whispered a ‘thank you’ before the coldness moved away. And then a harsher hand came on his hair, ruffling them, it seemed. He held back his instincts, not touching back this hand.

And on the same time…

“Holst? … W… wait… should I call you ‘General Goneril’ or anything?”

“Holst is fine,” he replied.

Leaned against the wall, he was hugging himself and forced a smile to the young men but… it was so weak.

“I wanted to ask…How have you met Miklan? He never talked about you? I… Shit, it’s maybe bad to…”

Holst shook his head. “I knew he wouldn’t talk about me. He couldn’t say it to your father or even mother if he wanted to be worthy of your father’s attention. If he was available to have an heir, then he could be seen… Or he hoped so…” Holst looked down. “I met him at Garreg Mach. We bumped into each other at the introduction evening. And… he was my type so I tried to meet him again. And… for weeks, I thought him and Glenn dated each other.”

“Which they do…” Felix whispered. “Right? They are together?”

“You can say that like that…” Holst guessed.

“What do you mean?”

“Miklan and Glenn were together. But… I was with Glenn. And I was with Miklan…”

Felix noticed the little sparkles coming from him.

“We were all together and… and I loved them so much. I love them so much…”

“When Glenn came back from Garreg Mach… we lost him,” Felix said.

Holst sadly nodded, hugging himself a bit more.

“Glenn… Glenn was engaged to Ingrid and I would never believe he could…” Felix closed his lips. “What was the Glenn you knew?”

“The same as you, I think? Benevolent, tender, supportive, smart, won’t let people walk all over him, fierce swordsman, willing to protect those needing it and to learn more. And so passionate…”

“And… and Miklan? He couldn’t be the same as I knew…”

“A big jealous idiot,” Holst lightly laughed. “He had such a character! Always too much protective and could get angry for anything but… he was so comprehensive, the way he touched me… his passion…” The way he said that was a bit different than for Glenn and Sylvain reddened. “He had so many issues… He was always comparing himself, never believing he was worthy of love. But… But Glenn would hate himself as soon he failed… He had so many pressures on his shoulders. He always talked about what he should do… Miklan always said how he hated Crest… Their love… Their love was powerful but I knew… I knew I couldn’t wish a lot from it. Glenn always said he was engaged and Miklan… I hoped Miklan could see I could be a good future for him but on the other hand… us without Glenn would have been so sad…”

“Holst…”

Felix looked at the door of the room. Glenn was just in front of it and he certainly had heard anything.

“Sunshine! You were my future!” Miklan protested. He moved toward him and passed his arms around him. “You were my present… I wasn’t worthy of you, I couldn’t stain you. I can’t…”

“Holst!”

Glenn was at him in a heartbeat and hugged him as well, pressing his head against his shoulder.

“I wanted to be with you… Both of you. I wanted your courage and being able to stand up against my father for _us_ to be possible. I will never fully regret to have protected Dimitri that day and yet… if I hadn’t, if I could have come back to you…”

Holst shivered, suddenly feeling cold.

He was also surprised of the way Felix stared at him.

“My brother…” Hilda whispered. “Please…” She moved to Felix, grabbing his hands. “I know I’m just a loafer, I always ask people to do things for me and so no one wants to trust me but… but take care of him for me. Please… They made him suffer so much…”

“Felix,” Ingrid said. “Please… give it to him…”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

She nodded. “I can’t forgive you… I still think you have betrayed us and I would have you to stand with us. But… _he_ was in my mind for my last moments… and I just want him to be happy… If it’s the only thing I can do to make him happy…”

“If you’re sure of yourself…”

“What… what are you…” Holst whispered.

“I see Ghosts, Holst… Your sister is worrying for you and Glenn and Miklan love you so much… They are hugging you. That’s the coldness you are feeling.”

“They… They are…”

Holst hiccupped, thunder coming from him. From the lower ground, they could hear Bunny wail out of worries.

Felix held out his hand, opening his fingers to reveal… the two rings he had gathered on the floor earlier.

Because Ingrid asked him to…

“You hadn’t married them but you shouldn’t throw them away. They would love to be married with you.”

“They are dead… that would be… That wouldn’t be legal… You… You really can see them? A… all of them?”

Felix nodded. “I’m not legally married to Sylvain. We made a vow to each other on the back of Dumbass and that’s all mattered. Sylvain is my husband because we decided so. It’s up to you.”

“I’m so sorry…” Holst said.

“You have nothing to apologize about,” Glenn protested.

“Glenn doesn’t want you to apologize.”

“I love you so much, Holst…” Glenn whispered, pressing his face against his throat. “I just beg for you to be happy again…”

“He loves you and want you to be happy,” Felix transcribed. “He doesn’t say it but I will… He’d do anything for you. He never asked me anything, never influent the living world and yet, for you…”

“I…”

Holst sniffed.

“I should have stay with you when you asked me to… You’re an idiot for loving such a selfish being like me. I always regretted leaving you alone… But we always came check on you, make sure you were alright. Until they hurt you and hid you to us… Do whatever makes you happy, Sunshine, but we would have do anything to marry you. You, Glenn… You were what were good in me.”

Felix started to tell the words, as close to what he said as he could.

Holst couldn’t fight against his tears, lightning coming from him. He didn’t dare to touch Felix to take the rings but he wanted it…

“It’s not over for you, brother… Felix and Sylvain will take care of you. Balthus still care for you… Those people pushed him away but I’m sure he will be there for you if you reach to him. Don’t stay alone…”

“Ugh… Hilda says Balthus cares for you and was pushed away by those Agarthans… But if ever you don’t want to go back to him, we will take care of you. And it’s true… if you’re fine for a life of Mercenary…”

“Hilda…” Holst whispered. “I… I… who have…”

“No,” Felix said, echoing Hilda. “She doesn’t want you to kill again for such reasons. She said you’re adorable but she prefers you with less blood on the hands…”

Holst’s fingers were still shaking but he unrolled them to retrieve the rings. He gently hugged them in the tenderness of his palm.

“Thank you…” he whispered. “All of you?”

Felix looked away and walked toward his husband who gently brushed his hand. He leaned toward him.

“You fine?”

Felix didn’t know.

It was still so hard to see the look on Glenn’s face. Not difficult but… so new? And perhaps a bit difficult, because he never saw before the worries he was holding as he gently caressed Holst’s cheek with one finger… Glenn always has been strong, not showing any emotions, making always sure to be the one people could rely on him.

And he was really gifted at it.

But he also noticed the suffer he had hidden for too long. He had hidden everything from him. Even his relationship with Miklan when they were both dead!

Now, that way Glenn had hold Miklan’s hand wasn’t surprising anymore. But this also brought sadness within him. How many things Glenn had hidden him?

“Glenn…?”

“Yes?”

“Is the Lance of Ruin there?”

“Yes,” Glenn replied.

“I’m going to take it,” he informed to Sylvain.

Which slightly nodded.

“It’s in a closet next the bed.”

“’kay…” Felix bit his lower lip. “Glenn…”

“Yes?”

“You shouldn’t hide your feelings that way…”

Glenn let out a laugh. He turned toward him, his fingers still brushing Holst’s. “ _You_ tell that to me?!”

“Yeah! I would rather die than hiding my feelings for Sylvain!”

“Aaaaw!” Sylvain smiled.

He passed his arms around him to hug him tenderly.

“It’s a bit weird…” Holst said with a weak smile.

“Don’t worry. You’re getting used to it. But we can talk together while he talks with Glenn!” Sylvain swore.

“You’re cut but you still did a lot of hiding,” Glenn mocked. “As if you could hide anything to me!”

“I have to agree: that’s something you refused to teach me,” Felix smirked.

“Sometimes, I decide to imagine what Glenn’s replying. It’s funny.”

“I see you’re not left aside.”

Sylvain shook his head. “I love them both, one more than the other.”

“Don’t be jealous, Felix! You will become as awesome as me one day. And… I was hiding because…”

“It was wrong. Or you’d be told so…”

“Yes. I was engaged. And I managed to get two boyfriends? It was so awful… I was ashamed. Not of my love but of what you would think of me.”

Not knowing what Glenn was feeling, confessing, Holst moved away from the wall and walked toward the door. He passed next to Felix and opened the room to enter in…

Glenn stared at him with a hint of fear.

“I think you’re awesome. But that’s not new. I would never think lesser of you because you love. I always believed you shouldn’t have to marry Ingrid. Sorry Ingrid,” she added.

“It’s fine.” Ingrid looked at Glenn. “I love you, Glenn. I’m jealous, of course, but… I want you to be happy. With him, or them… I don’t mind. As long as you’re really happy.”

“Ingrid…” Glenn moved toward her. “As long as you not bother my brother, I care for you. I really do. You always have been important for me. Just not in the way you wished for…”

Ingrid grabbed his hands. She pinched her lips and looked at Felix and Sylvain. Felix didn’t look at her, and it was more than normal but Sylvain approached his husband. He wanted to know what was happening.

“How can we forgive them for having killed us?”

“Just remember you were ready to do the same. They won over you, that’s all.” Glenn turned his head toward his father. “You wanted to kill Felix because he did what you believed being wrong. I did what you believed being right and I died… I repressed my love and died in sadness. Is this what you want for Felix?”

“Glenn!!” Felix protested.

Sylvain looked at him with worries.

Rodrigue looked at his son as well. Was it what he really wanted? Deep inside… He wanted his children to be on the same page as him. To agree with his ideals but… was it what he r _eally_ desired for them?

The door of Lucas’ room opened.

“Sylvain?”

Sylvain turned his head toward Holst, the Lance of Ruin in his hand.

“Oh my Goddess! Thank you!” Sylvain said.

He walked toward him to take the Lance of Ruin. At the second his fingers rolled around it, the wiggling weapon stated to shine. He looked at it with silence. Holst looked down, not wanting to lay his eyes on that thing, and Miklan… Miklan didn’t care about the Relic and only contemplated Holst.

“With that, anyone wanting to touch you will pay for it…” Sylvain said.

He always hated his Crest, hated that Lance of Ruin… but today, it seemed they both had a purpose in the end.

If they existed only to allow him to save and protect the one he loved, then, he was glad they existed. Even if he had suffered so much because of them…

“You are right, Glenn…” Rodrigue said. “Perhaps I should forgive Felix and praise his life…”

“And Felix is still able to hear you,” Felix growled.

His father stared at him. He nodded.

“Fe’?” Sylvain asked.

“You have the Lance?” Felix replied.

“Yeah.”

He showed it, and really you couldn’t miss it. It was just so big and wiggling and shining…

“We can leave, then,” Felix decided. “Do you have everything, Holst?”

“Uh… yes? I hadn’t much… Bunny will come with Freikugel.”

“Perfect.” Felix walked toward the stairs. “We will go to Edelgard and then to those Agarthans. And when we will be done… I don’t know. Who cares?”

“I don’t,” Sylvain replied. He ran after his lover, not breaking a sweat to reach him because he was just so much taller. However, he stopped and turned his head, holding out his hand. “You come?”

Holst seemed still surprised to be allowed that way in their circle. Surprised and delighted. Even though his smile was very weak.

He nodded and quickly joined them, not daring to touch Sylvain’s hand anyway…

Together, they went down the stairs and let everything behind them. The blood, the tension, Lucas’ ghost probably. As they approached the front door, Sylvain couldn’t help slow down.

“Sylvain?” Miklan asked.

Felix turned and came back to his husband. “Is it something wrong?”

“I just…” Sylvain opened the door and closed his fingers around the knob. “I hope this is the last time I come here. I’m thinking about destroying this Mansion… this would be… better, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Miklan groaned.

“Miklan approves. And I certainly approve too… This place isn’t worth remembering.”

“Yeah. It’s better to give it back to my people…”

Sylvain closed the door.

“Servants will leave,” Holst said. “Soon no one will pay them and either you can destroy this place yourself or… just leave the time do…”

“Or your Dragon can destroy it!!” Sylvain smiled.

“You want Bunny to destroy this place?”

The Dragon turned toward them, growling and approaching. They seemed to hate this place as much as him because their tail was waving.

“There are still servants here so not now, probably…” Sylvain said.

Bunny growled with disappointment.

Holst send them soft thoughts and walked toward them to hug them.

“If this is what you want, you won’t have to come back and I’ll handle it for you,” Holst swore to Sylvain.

“Thank you…” he replied.

“You really don’t have to come back here. I’m… sorry for having make you come back in this place amongst all of them…”

“It’s fine,” Sylvain said. “I have a question, though…”

He glanced on the side as he heard the sound of hooves echoing on the ground covered with freeze.

“Yes?”

“Have _you_ killed Lucas?”

Holst nodded, looking away. His eyes filled with sadness suddenly sparkled with joy.

“Dumbass!!!”

Holst dashed to the horse who let out a happy whine.

Sylvain blinked in surprise as he looked Holst pressing his forehead against the horse’s. The huge beast rubbed their cheek against Holst’s face making him laugh. Bunny growled, their tail waving angrily.

And there… just in front of Sylvain’s eyes, Dumbass crouched on the floor.

“What the hell?”

“Aaaaw you so sweet!” Holst smiled. “I missed you too!”

Felix could hear Miklan laughing and see the man approach the horse, congratulating him.

“You ride Dumbass?” Holst asked to Sylvain.

“Yeah!” Sylvain walked toward him. “But he never did that before…”

“He always did that for Glenn because he is so tiny!” Miklan laughed.

“Eh!!” Glenn protested.

“Tell me you’re not tiny?! You can walk under Dumbass!”

“No!” Glenn pouted.

But he totally knew it was ‘yes’.

“Miklan taught him to do that,” Holst said to Sylvain. “Glenn wasn’t very gifted to ride, and it was even more difficult for him because… well, you see how tall Dumbass is. So Miklan taught him to crouch for Glenn. But Dumbass certainly thought it was for Miklan’s lovers and not just Glenn. He is so sweet…”

Holst caressed the mane of the horse.

“Felix, do you want…?”

He knew how his boyfriend struggled to show his affection in public. He would certainly not want to get help to go on Dumbass’ back while Holst could see it. Also… he doubted he would be comfortable to share the same horse than him with someone else to lurk and judge…

“Yes. Let’s leave,” he groaned.

“Dumbass, stay still,” Miklan said. “Princess’ darling…” he invited.

Felix showed his middle finger to the man and walked toward the horse. He climbed on it and Dumbass straightened. Holst pressed his forehead against him again, smiling. He would ride Bunny, who would probably walk next to them, so he didn’t need to ride the big horse. Sylvain approached Dumbass and put his hand on the horn.

“Can I come?”

Felix pinched his lips and leaned toward him.

“Hurry up. I need to feel your arms around me,” he said under his breath.

Sylvain smiled and climbed behind him. He passed his arms around him and pressed his chin on his shoulder.

“I’m here, mon amour…”

“Merci,” Felix weakly smiled.


	15. Chapter 14: Aftermath

Felix couldn’t help fidgeting with his knife. Snuggled in his husband’s arms, he couldn’t sleep. Holst seemed to be a nice guy and his joy when he had seen Dumbass? Dumbass’ joy when he had seen him… Holst couldn’t be a bad guy. Not if Glenn loved him. But it didn’t change what just happened…

Holst tried to kill them.

Whatever the reason…

And he still had lightning coming from his body. Less than when they were talking earlier but still. Even in his sleep, his body seemed to let those lights come out….

He couldn’t close his eyes. He couldn’t let go of the knife in his twitching fingers. At the second the man would attack them, he would grab it and dove the blade in Holst’s heart… No one would touch his husband.

“Felix…”

Felix could feel the fingers of his brother in his hair. The coldness that made him snuggle more in Sylvain’s arms. It was so wintry… Faerghus was merciless.

Feeling him nestled in his arms, Sylvain closed them more around him. Still dreaming…

“Nothing will happen to him,” Glenn swore.

“I can’t take the risk… I refuse to lose him…” Felix said, caressing Sylvain’s jaw. It was itchy but he didn’t care. “I have lost you, I have lost Dimitri’s friendship then Ingrid, father… I’ve lost everyone. But it didn’t matter, as long as _he_ was there. If I lose him…”

Felix didn’t finish his sentence.

He could see him shiver. Was it coldness? Pain?

They were both still suffering much.

They were, the three of them, still suffering. The fight had been so harsh. They were bearing scars, they were suffering deep inside… their fleshes were adorned of wounds that would ask weeks to heal.

The coldness making them shivering didn’t help neither.

“You know I’ll keep an eye on you. And him. Miklan would help too, of course!”

“Well, I’m thinking…” he said, approaching Glenn.

Felix looked away as he saw him land his big hand on Glenn’s hip.

“Miklaaaan!”

“Gleeenn! It’s not that easy to choose between the guy I hated for so long and the man I still love deeply!”

“I understand but…you’re supposed to choose Sylvain.”

“Hm… We know I’m not the best brother. I want to protect him, of course but…”

He glanced at Holst, sleeping between Bunny’s paws.

Felix growled. Sylvain shivered once again. It couldn’t be the coldness, Felix was sure about that. He knew the transformation into a Beast had saved his limbs thanks to who know what magic but he had noticed him wince so often…

“Glenn… Can you do something?” Felix asked.

“ _You_ can do it, Felix.”

“I’m not as good in magic as you.”

“Felix… You have passed my capacities since longtime! You are not in my shadow! I only lend you my Crest because I can’t bear the idea of seeing you suffering! But you don’t need me!”

Felix bit his lower lip. He moved his palm over Sylvain, focusing his healing energy.

But what if…

He wasn’t very gifted to heal, more to take away lives… Those two thing weren’t really good friends.

And yet.

Yet, Glenn had always been gifted with it. Perhaps if he had accepted to follow a bit more his father’s path instead of pushing away everything related to him.

“What if I tried on Holst first?” he snickered.

“No!” Miklan and Glenn said, exactly at the same time.

Not surprising coming from Miklan. But… Glenn? That much?

Felix heard a deep sigh coming from Miklan. “If you approach Holst, Bunny will shred you into piece.” He sighed. “And don’t go believe I’m doing that for Princess! You still Glenn’s favorite brother and that’s it!”

“Of course…” Felix mocked.

“Focus yourself, Felix.”

Felix tensed.

“Focus on the energy. The positive energy…. Knowing your feelings. Focus on that energy… Focus on the love you have…”

“How can _you_ have become a Holy Knight, Rodrigue?! You have never been able to love…”

“I loved more than you can believe…” he replied. He moved toward Felix, landing his hand on his shoulder. “Focus, Felix. His life isn’t in danger. Even if you fail, it’s nothing grave. You can try again…”

Felix placed his hand above Sylvain’s heart.

He could feel strength, magic, enter within him. He focused on his own magic, on that love he had for Sylvain. Focusing on this wasn’t hard, though, because his body simmered with it.

Magic came from his fingers, spreading in Sylvain’s body. He saw him shiver and heard him moan.

“Fe’…” he whispered.

“Yes?”

“What are you doing?”

“Healing you,” Felix replied.

Sylvain closed his hand on Felix’s other hand, brushing the knife’s blade with his thumb.

“I don’t need to be healed, Fe’…” he yawned.

“You don’t need to suffer.”

“It should be fine,” Rodrigue said.

Felix snuggled in Sylvain’s arms. Sylvain pressed his cheek against his husband’s head, caressing his hair.

“Sleep, mon amour. You need it. I’ll keep my eyes open and take care of you…”

“Stay on your guards…”

“Yeah!” Sylvain swore. He yawned once again and rubbed his eyes. “I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

He leaned to kiss his temple. Felix caressed his chest and snuggled a bit more. But he couldn’t let go of his knife. He had to be sure nothing, no one, would hurt Sylvain…

One week later

“According to the riddle… it must be here,” Sylvain said.

Sylvain had worked on this riddles for days, checking every parchment, trying it in every way possible. He was more than sure he couldn’t get wrong now but, on the other hand, it was weird to imagine Edelgard in a tiny inn like that. Yes, she valued people over their strength and worth instead of wealth but… still. She was the Empress.

She was ruling the unified Fódlan.

No matter what Holst, or rather Those Who Slither in the Dark, did, she still was the one who should rules over Fódlan. Protect it.

In one week, Felix and Sylvain had discovered a lot about Holst and while he sure was a leader born and could take over the World… he had slowly lost his mind. The mourning he had to undergo was already horrible enough alone but what the Agarthans did to him?

He was a living dead…

His focus kept disappearing and, sometimes, when he showed love, he was afraid by himself. His body kept twitching…

Sylvain really preferred Edelgard to take back her title. If she agreed for it, of course.

“I should stay here, with the horses,” Holst said.

He was on the back of Lobelia because… well, you wouldn’t bring a Dragon in the middle of a city! However, even though Holst had tried to hide it, Sylvain had the feeling Bunny was there. Perhaps with a camouflage spell? Sylvain could understand he didn’t want to be separated from his Dragon, especially knowing the bond they had and the things he had lived, but it didn’t help to fully trust him.

No matter Glenn’s opinion.

He couldn’t really take Miklan’s opinion because his brother seemed to be so enthralled, according to Felix’s translation. He would never have believed that coming from his brother, to be honest…

So, no matter Glenn’s opinion, Sylvain stayed on his guards. Felix too, but he always had been like that. Especially when his husband was taken in consideration. He always had a knife hidden somewhere but since they were with Holst… And yet, he was the first willing to spend time with him.

Well… in his way.

Which meant: training.

And strange enough, they both were very gifted in fist fighting. Sylvain knew his lover thought Chivalry has to evolve and be able to throw fist and he certainly started to believe that the first time he saw Glenn jumping on Miklan to prevent him from doing bad things… but now Sylvain wondered if they were really wrestling or…

Anyway! Sylvain really wasn’t surprising for Felix but he couldn’t see Holst throw his fist around.

And yet.

It was so strange to train with him, laugh with him and also eat, and then… starting to fear he could come kill them…

“You should come with us,” Sylvain said.

“I don’t think so. I won’t try to betray you. I want to help you to find Volkhardt and the others… Pay back my debt… But I tried to kill Edelgard! I almost killed the creepy guy who is always with her.”

“Hubert?” Sylvain asked under his breath.

“Probably?” Holst replied.

“Just say ‘sorry’,” Felix said.

“I don’t think that would be enough…”

“Assume your acts,” the young Fraldarius pursued. “But in doubt, tell us where we have to go.”

“If they kill me?” Holst asked with a nervous laugh.

Felix threw him a smile that was significant enough…

Sylvain stretched. “I can’t wait to take a good meal and a warm bath!! Well… good meal… it’s still Faerghus’ food…” He leaned over Felix. “I don’t know how you bear with such a stinky husband.”

“I’m used to bear with that husband. Stinky or not stinky, what does it change.” Felix smirked. “I’d be happy to remove my make up…”

While coming back from Gautier’s Dominion, they had the opportunity to make two mercenary missions, hence the make up, and so to gather a bit of money.

Holst had been interested to see them work. If it was together, they were a well-oiled machine, protecting each other, completing each other; if it was alone, Felix was a killer so fast… His victims fell on the ground before they would even know there was a danger… Felix just looked like a shadow meant to kill. And the fact he searched to grow even more and become a better fighter was frightening…

Where would he stop?!

That vision of that inn pushed the thoughts away. Holst had better to think now…

Sylvain forced Dumbass to stop. There were already a few horses here. The inn seemed to have a lot of customers. Not bad… They could bend in the mass… Felix had tugged his hood above his head, Sylvain himself rolled a scarf around his head. The color of their hair was so significant. Anyone knew those bright color above the frontiers!

Sylvain jumped down the big horse and moved his arms toward his husband who accepted that help. Soon his boots found the ground and he watched as Sylvain was tying Dumbass’ reins next to the trough. He held out his hand to Lobelia so he could tie her too. Holst was more used to ride, and his horse was tinnier than the mountain that Dumbass was, so he had no difficulties coming on the floor.

“How would you hide your hair?” Sylvain asked.

They certainly had a sheet or something like that but…

And as he was thinking that, Holst gathered his hairs and quickly tied them in such a way the white and pitiful part hid the pink one.

“Like that?” Holst offered.

“Perfect,” Sylvain said.

The haircut was really odd but… who cared?

Sylvain walked toward the door and pushed it open for his husband. And Holst as he was following. The owner was working behind a big bar, washing glasses and the bar itself; checking in the room behind if everything was doing alright. You could smell a soft perfume. The meal for this evening, it seemed so!

Sylvain approached the bar, knowing Felix didn’t like to have the talk…

“Heya,” he smiled.

“Yes?” the man said.

“I’d like aaaaaaa…” Sylvain looked on the side. “Two rooms please! And also, I’ve a friend who came here, do you know if they are still here? A tiny lady looking really majestic.”

“Hm… does she have something more special to distinguish her?” he asked.

He turned around to go toward the keys and search for two rooms he could give them.

“She is really tiny. And she might be with a very tall guy, looking like a living dead.”

“Aaaah! Yeah! Room five and her friends are in the room six!” The man ended them two keys. “You have room three and seven. We didn’t have anymore room next to each other, sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” Sylvain replied. “Can we have water and food for the night?”

He took his purse to remove the coin of golds needed.

“Sure. You can remove the water from the well…” Sylvain could feel a cold hand in his hair. “And the food can be serve in your room or taken here.”

“We’ll see, thank you,” Sylvain replied.

He gave the last coin to the man who recounted quickly and then let them take the keys. Sylvain thanked him with a smile and turned his head toward Felix who was already climbing the stairs. He never had a second to lose…

Sylvain smiled and followed him.

He glanced at Holst that was more hesitant.

Valid. Logic.

Sylvain wondered… should he call him?

He still believed he had to assume his acts. Repent.

Holst walked toward him and had a sad smile at his attention. “Sorry,” he said.

“That’s fine…”

“Room five?” Felix asked since the upper stage.

“Yep!” Sylvain replied to him. “You can wait for us to warn them if you want so,” he swore to Holst.

“I think it would be better,” he honestly replied.

Sylvain nodded.

He arrived in front of the Room 5 and looked at his husband who knocked at the door. But then walked away and placed himself behind Sylvain. Which wasn’t a bad idea because when the door opened, there was a shriek.

“Sylvain!!”

“Ferdie!!”

It wasn’t very noble but at this instant, Ferdinand Von Aegir didn’t care and threw himself at his favorite cousin’s neck!

“Sylvain!! I’m so glad to see you!! We were waiting you since so long!”

“Sorry it took that much time! The riddle was so hard to solve! My compliments to the one making it.”

“Our lovely Empress sadly-glad-fully,” Ferdinand gently sighed.

“Don’t worry! You’re still the best,” Sylvain winked.

“Oh, I wish!”

“You’re still your loved one fav’,” Sylvain insisted, still smiling.

“Oh, I wish!!” Ferdinand laughed. A bit nervously. But he was used to it… “Thank you for having come. We started to lose hope,” he confessed.

“I’m sorry. We were in Mach and we came back not so long ago.”

“Oh…” Ferdinand let out. “Well, we need your help. We asked the help of the professor but they disappeared… I hope we don’t put a too huge burden on your shoulders if I tell you you are our last hope.”

“Well… a bit!” Sylvain laughed. “But what I wouldn’t do for my favorite cousin!”

“You can’t say that, that’s not very Noble of you! I can say that but you have numerous cousins!”

“You haven’t one cousin neither,” Sylvain frowned.

“It’s true but… You know.”

Sylvain looked down. It wasn’t the moment to talk about Felix seeing ghost and him having changed into a Monster thanks to Miklan. There was something heavy enough to talk about right now…

“Yes… Perhaps we should enter and talk about… why you wanted to see us that bad.”

“Yes!” Ferdinand said.

“But first…”

As Sylvain moved slightly on the side, his husband was revealed. Ferdinand’s eyes sparkled with joy. They were both fond of weapons and they build a strong friendship over it and over training. A blessing for Sylvain who always had been close of his cousin… Ferdinand considered Felix as his best friend, even though Hubert would point out he especially was his _only_ friend, while Felix… well, Felix accepted Ferdinand around and seemed to enjoy hanging out with him?

Ferdinand was about to hug Felix but stopped himself, to the relief of his best friend, because Sylvain’s wide and tall silhouette was hiding something else. Someone else. Even with his strange haircut and cozy-ish clothes, you could remember someone like Holst. Especially when you have been rocked with his stories while growing up, especially when you had seen his face at one of the blackest moment of your life…

“Step aside, Sylvain, I will slaughter this…”

“He is with us!” Sylvain quickly said.

“He…” Ferdinand stared him without understand a thing. How… “You want to make him enter?”

“Yes.”

“Only Edelgard will be judge of this. If it was only me, I would request his head on a Lance… He almost killed my husband!”

“Mine too!” Sylvain smirked back.

“Sylvain…”

“My brother tried to kill me a million time and I kept dashing to him begging for him to protect me. Not surprising I got this guy around,” Sylvain replied with a wide smile. “Remember, I’m stupid!”

Felix sighed.

He hated when his lover downsized himself…

“If you don’t want us to be here, fine,” Felix said. “Then, we will leave and deal with those Agarthans alone.”

“Agarthans?”

Ferdinand tensed when he heard his husband’s voice. He didn’t felt assured when the man arrived in the threshold of the room. Sylvain, as he looked at him, noticed that Edelgard ans Lysithea were both there too. They certainly preferred to be together for the day…

“Agarthans?” Hubert asked again. “This name is familiar to me…”

“That’s how ‘Those Who Slither in the Dark’ call themselves,” Sylvain replied. He turned his head toward Holst. “Right?”

Holst nodded.

“Come in!”

The voice coming from inside the room wasn’t Edelgard’s. Sylvain was pretty sure it was Lysithea’s…

Hubert stared at Holst but stepped aside, letting them enter. Edelgard was sitting at a tiny desk by the window and Lysithea just got up from the bed. It must be already cramped for the four of them but now being seven? And Sylvain was big…

Lysithea stared at Holst who looked away.

“Why did you need us?” Felix asked.

“For that,” Edelgard replied, showing Holst.

“Then it’s done,” the young Fraldarius smirked.

He swirled on his heels and walked toward the exit.

“Wait!” Edelgard said. Felix turned his head toward her. He didn’t talk but his eyes let out an annoyed ‘what?’ for him. “I need to understand: why are you accepting him by your side?”

“Because he almost killed me,” Felix smirked.

“Because he fucked with my bro’!” Sylvain replied.

“What?” Ferdinand hiccupped, blushing.

“That’s true! But that’s wrong! We were lover! But he was also a great fucker!” Holst intervened.

Felix could see Glenn facepalm and, honestly, he wanted to do the same. Gautiers weren’t that shy or easily ashamed because Sylvain laughed and Miklan looked just s _o proud_.

Edelgard stared at them.

“You asked, you got a reply,” Sylvain smirked. “This, plus the fact he has been manipulated by some assholes who want to touch _my_ husband and we will destroy them. I know how important it is for you to go after them and so we came to ask you to join us.”

“Against Those Who Slither in the Dark?” Edelgard repeated.

Sylvain nodded. “Thanks to Holst, we know where they are.”

“Where?” Lysithea asked.

She couldn’t stop herself from looking at Holst’s hair.

White.

“At the border of the Alliance,” Holst replied. “Somewhere lost in the mountains of Hrym.”

“Hrym?” Lysithea repeated.

She remembered how her parents sided with Hrym. How they tried to help and people coming from there tortured her family in reply to that. Her hair, her power… all of this came from the decision of her parents. They wanted to do something good, they always had been like that, but this time, the consequence had been horrible…

She had to pay for their kindness.

Gladly, it hadn’t shadowed their kindness nor hers…

“And you know where?”

“I can’t indicate it because it’s lost in the mountains… But Bunny certainly can recognize the area when we will fly over it.”

“We?” Edelgard repeated.

“The baby brothers and me,” Holst said.

“Except if you wanted to join us?” Sylvain wondered. “I thought… I know what happened to you because of them…”

“So you’re giving us an opportunity to be avenged?”

Sylvain shook his head. “I’m giving you the opportunity to change things. Maybe what have been done can be undone.”

“Remove a Crest?” Edelgard whispered.

“That would be insane!”

“It is insane to think someone can give a Crest to another,” Felix groaned.

Sylvain frowned, looking at him. Then he turned slightly his head toward where he could guess Miklan was, he felt his coldness next to him. His husband must have replied to him…

Felix was cautious but he was also used to be able to talk with dead without having anyone wondering what was happening…

“Yeah, Fe’ is right. It’s insane to think about what happened to you but it happened. Why not the invert?”

“And something is happening to him,” Lysithea said, looking at Holst. “I don’t think that’s what happened to us.”

“We have to hope,” Sylvain approved. “We can bring you with us. I don’t know how, though.”

“Bunny is a Dragon,” Holst said. “I think they should be able to carry us. If really needed, we certainly can get Wyverns, even though they aren’t in a good mood at this time of the year.”

“We will what?” Hubert asked.

Ferdinand approached him, gently brushing his wrist. “Is there any other way?”

“Perhaps. But longer,” Sylvain replied. “We have lost enough time like that and we will lost this night again.”

“They are waiting for us. I wouldn’t want them to get the time to welcome us. Even though I think we will beat them anyway,” Felix said.

“We will think about it,” Edelgard replied. “We have to be ready too.”

“I’m ready,” Felix said.

“I don’t doubt it but we aren’t. If you stay here this night, we can talk about this tomorrow at the breakfast and see what we can do…”

“And see if we can go through the mountains instead of going by the sky,” Hubert said.

Ferdinand threw him a smile.

“Very well,” Edelgard said. “We will see each other tomorrow except if we have other things to pass through.”

“Yeah! I need a bath anyway,” Sylvain smiled.

“Same,” Felix said.

“Holst, you go in your room?”

Holst nodded.

Sylvain blew a kiss to his cousin who faked grabbing it. He winked at him and then swirled on his heels, moving his hand toward Felix. Which followed him but only slid his fingers along his palm when they were in the corridors. He turned his head toward Holst who came outside the room too.

“Glenn and Miklan will stay with you,” Felix said.

“Me?”

Felix nodded.

“Thank you…” Holst replied with emotion.

Felix didn’t smile at all and just followed his husband. He installed his clothes on the bed then swirled around to go fetch the water in the well. He wouldn’t let Sylvain approach it! He could deal with so much back and forth. Sylvain would be able to warm it in a heartbeat. Right now, he was just setting the room so it would be cozy for them. It was so good to see a real bed with a good mattress. It was pleasant to have warm blankets. And being able to take a good bath! There was soap and shampoo around and they smelled so good!

Felix came back for the fourth time when Sylvain removed his mantle. He approached him and poured the bucket before turning toward his husband. He passed his arms around his shoulders and smiled. Sylvain leaned to press their forehead together. He caressed his cheek with his thumb.

“We need two or three buckets again,” Felix said.

“Okay.”

“You’re fine?” Felix made sure.

Sylvain nodded.

“Sure?”

“Yeah. Enough to prepare the bath until you’d come back,” Sylvain swore.

“Perfect.”

“Wait!” Sylvain said as his husband moved away.

“What?” he asked, intertwining their fingers.

“A kiss?”

Felix smiled and went on his tip toe to steal him a tender kiss. He then moved away and went take two other buckets. And a third one, in the end. Sylvain leaned on the wide bath, sliding his hand on the water. Fire magic coming from him quickly warmed the bath, making float steam in the tiny room next to the bedroom… It gave the feeling they were in a sauna. Sylvain didn’t like that and he would have loved opening a window. But the window barely opened…

“Ready?” Felix asked as he removed his clothes.

“I’m never really ready and… I’m ready too,” Sylvain replied.

It was ridicule how he feared the water. But he was with Felix so it was easier. So much easier. Watching him remove the layers of clothes, reveal his pale skin. Sylvain approached him.

“Can I?” he asked.

“Of course.”

Sylvain smiled and removed the metallic arrow from the black hair, making flow the mane. He slid his fingers in them, tugging on the ribbon and totally releasing them. He couldn’t help smiling even more, caressing the long thread, drowning his fingers in that ink sea…

“I love that,” he confessed.

His other fingers gently lowered and brushed the Fraldarius’ Crest around his navel, caressing it tenderly.

“I love _you_ ,” Felix said.

He gently caressed his throat and kissed his lips. He moved his fingers to remove the warm shirt his husband was wearing. His fingertips came even lower, brushing the Gautier Crest on his chest, just above his heart. He felt it throb under the muscle. He pressed his forehead against his shoulder.

And his hand came even lower to remove his husband’s pant. And his underwear, making him as naked as him…

Felix thanked him with a kiss then moved toward the bath. He was about to pass above it, Sylvain laying tender eyes on him, when Felix let out a groan.

“Fe’!” Sylvain dashed to him, and saw him press his fingers over his belly. “Felix?! What’s happening?” Sylvain worried.

“It’s nothing… Holst threw an axe in my stomach,” he reminded with an annoyed tone.

“He…” Sylvain whispered.

Looking down, he still could see the big scar, crossing his clear skin. Holst healed his head to be sure he wouldn’t die but he was also in a very pore state and he couldn’t use his entire energy to totally heal Felix. His life wasn’t in danger but…if he was suffering, Sylvain wasn’t pleased at all…

“It’s fine,” Felix growled. “We were enemy…”

“I like him but… he didn’t need to be our enemy. If he touches you again…”

“I’m fine,” Felix replied. “Now come, I will end up believing you just search excuse not going on that bath.”

“Oh yeah?” Sylvain smirked.

“Yeah “ his husband grinned back.

Without losing his own smile, Sylvain approached him and grabbed him, lifting him. Felix had no fear to roll his arms and his legs around him. He didn’t fear to feel his lover’s finger gently caressing his thighs. It was Sylvain. He trusted him.

He trusted him so much…

Sylvain stepped over the edge of the bath. He slid in the warm liquid, holding tightly his husband and smiling tenderly. He took a fabric and slid it in the warm water to, then, passed it on Felix’s face, removing his dark makeup.

“Here is my beautiful husband…” he smiled.

“I was always there,” Felix replied.

“I know. But you had the makeup on,” Sylvain laughed. “And now I see you just as perfect as you are. I love you…”

“I love you too. How do you feel?”

“Fine… I’m watching at you so… how could it be different? You are here… Your energy is filling me… I love you so much, Felix.”

Felix kissed his lips. “I love you so much, my Sylvain.”


	16. Chapter 15: A second from the eternity

It was so cold outside…

Felix was glad to slide under the warmth blankets of the inn. Of course, Edelgard chose something pretty decent to stay for an undefined time. She was again giving exceptional things to people only because they were Nobles or Crested but when you had money, you could ask a bit of comfort.

This didn’t remove her hard work and the fact she stepped in this ocean of blood for the sole purpose of saving the World from what he was becoming. And after having passed so many years in the Dagda Archipelagos and being married to a Noble from Sreng, who was bitter because of Crests, he could understand her point more than anyone.

Sylvain, not wearing anything, joined him in the bed, a comb in his hand. He moved toward his husband and smiled when Felix come snuggling in his arms. He stated to comb the very long and thin dark hair.

“I don’t know yet if Edelgard would be fine,” Sylvain said. “I think we should leave at dawn. We should leave the horses here. We would certainly be back in a couple of day. I never fought against those Agarthans though… I don’t remember, at least.”

“We fought against two of them,” Felix corrected. “And I was able to defeat the Dark Knight so I don’t worry. I slay down the Boar and, if Glenn was here, I think I could defeat him. I don’t fear many opponents.”

“Yeah, that’s my husband!” Sylvain smiled. “But I don’t want to lose you neither, so be cautious,” he said under his breath.

“I’m always cautious,” Felix replied.

“You are. But I’m always anxious to lose you.”

“It won’t happen. We will go there, finish this story and then… Sreng?”

“Sreng!” Sylvain leaned over him and kissed his cheek. “If you’re sure of this. It’d be even colder there.”

“I’m fine. I want your happiness. I’d go where you go. And as long as I can use my sword, I’m fine… As long as I can be with you, my life has a sense.” Felix snuggled in his arms. “And you’d warm me, right?”

Sylvain smiled. “Right.”

_Knock knock knock_.

Felix immediately woke up, grabbing his knife under his pillow.

“Mon amour…” Sylvain groaned. “It’s all fine…”

“You think,” Felix growled back.

“It’s Ferdinand,” a voice came from the other side of the door. “Your cousin and your best friend! Not a traitor.”

“Proof it!” Felix commanded.

“Really?” He sighed. “Very well! At Garreg Mach you were all excited to get a new sword from Zlotan and you graciously allowed your King to use it and he broke it.”

“I’m sure anyone can have known that but… come in. I’d stab you if you try to do anything to Sylvain.”

Ferdinand entered the room with a little smile. “If you’re ready, Edelgard would like to meet you in her room. I think I can give you ten minutes to prepare yourself?”

“It should be fine,” Sylvain replied. “Even though, this beautiful mess don’t become beautiful like that! Is ten minutes enough to ravish hearts?”

“Hurry up, Syl’,” Ferdinand smiled.

He swirled on his heels and walked to the entrance to allow them a bit of intimacy. Felix sat in the mattress with a groan and grabbed his clothes without letting go of his knife.

“No kisses? Aw, this is a sad day!”

Felix turned toward him as he was pulling up a warm trouser. “You want a kiss?”

“One, two, three… as many as you’re willing to give me,” Sylvain replied with a smug smile.

Felix grabbed his choker to tie it around his throat. He leaned over Sylvain and kissed his lips before passing on a top. He also warmed himself with Sylvain’s vest even though it lost the marvelous scent years ago… Yet, he still brought him a sensation of protection and love. This was truly the best armor he could dream about…

Sylvain smiled as he saw him pull up the high tight boots and he stretched himself. He ruffled his hair to make them fit in their perfect undisciplined but perfectly combed hairdressing. Well… he had to comb them with his fingers but it was fine. It sure was way different from the time where they were Noble, having to look always perfect, always smiling… They had less pressure and it was perfect that way.

“Can I get a few minutes alone, mon amour?”

Felix turned toward him, his hairbrush in hand. “Yeah.”

He walked to him and leaned over the mattress. He kissed him with all the love he had for him. Sylvain smiled against his lips, replying to the kiss anyway. He switched enough to pass his arm around him and tug him closer. Felix let him do, enjoying the warmth of his chest as he pressed his chest against his husband’s.

“You’re marvelous,” Sylvain uttered against his lips.

“ _You_ are.”

Sylvain pressed their forehead together, breathing his essence.

Felix kissed him a last time and pulled away. He moved to the entrance, glanced at him, offering him the shadow of a smile, and came outside. His hairbrush was the only think he had. He didn’t even have his sword. Gladly, he always had a knife on him and… well, a hairbrush could totally be a weapon in _his_ hands.

Felix could have joined Ferdinand. They could have started to discuss the plans and see what to do but… Felix preferred to walk toward the other room. He knocked at the door and waited for the occupant to open it. He didn’t like to wait because it was just a waste of time. He should work the plan, he should train…

The door opened, quite quickly in fact, and he could see Holst, his hair undone, waving along his body covered with a sweater and a warm pant.

“Hi,” Holst said. “Do you want to know if Bunny is ready?”

“Not now, but we have a meeting in eight minutes,” Felix replied.

“Very well. I’d be here.”

“Are you ready?”

“Uh…” Holst looked around. He hadn’t much and those clothes he wore had been buy in this same town, to have something better than his clothes stained with blood. “Yes? I’m always ready.”

“Do you want to train?”

“Before the meeting?” Holst smiled. “We’d be all sweaty!”

Felix frowned and looked on the side.

“Is this something wrong?”

“You sound like your sister,” Felix replied. “So it’s no?”

“I can if you really want to. But I don’t know if we would truly have time?”

“I do my hair, we go outside and we have the time to spare five minutes. And so, I’d win over you three times, at least.”

Holst smiled. “You haven’t won once, yet, if I remember well.”

“That can change,” Felix said, combing his hair.

“Yes. Do you want me to do your hair?”

Felix froze at this question. “No one has done my hair since Glenn passed away.”

Sylvain was allowed to play with them, not to help him getting them in shape.

“I hadn’t done anyone hair since we lost Glenn,” Holst said under his breath.

“What about Hilda?”

Hilda let out a laugh. Holst as well but more nervous.

“We hadn’t the exact same sense of mode and she wouldn’t have let me do. She did mine sometimes, and my make up. But as soon as she passed twelve, I wasn’t allowed anymore to do her hair or her make up because it would ruin it. Exceeept, if she wanted me to do her chores,” he added with a laugh.

“She kept asking Sylvain to do her chores.”

“He asked me to do so because he loved that!” Hilda protested.

“Of course,” Miklan smirked.

“Yes, of course!” Hilda replied. “And anyone would do anything for my pretty eyes, anyway. Right Glenn?!”

Glenn smiled and passed his arm around her to bring her in a hug. “Yeah.”

“It’s fine,” Felix said. “You can do my hair. Do anything you want but you owe me a sparring session!”

“Sure!” Holst smiled.

He gently took his hand to tug him inside his room.

“And I have a knife if you try to kill me again!”

“I wouldn’t do that. Not to Glenn’s precious baby.”

“You tried,” Felix argued.

He sat on the mattress and Holst came next to him. Felix was surprised of the delicacy Holst used to comb his hair. When he combed his own hair, Felix was quick and quite harsh. Last time someone had been that delicate it was… well, a few days before the Tragedy of Duscur.

“I am unforgivable for this. I wasn’t _me_ anymore and they manipulated me but it’s not an excuse. I should have been lucid enough to want to protect you.”

“It’s fine. I killed my childhood friend, Sylvain killed our childhood friend… I killed my dad.”

“Yeah… me too…”

Felix heard Glenn hiccupping in horror. And Miklan let out a shocked ‘the hell, Sunshine?!’

But Felix asked no questions. He wasn’t good for small talk and he knew how important it’d be to keep some parts of your history secretes. He wasn’t proud of having killed Dimitri or his father. It had to be done. He was glad he was the one who could do it but there was no joy, no pleasure to win that way. Felix loved winning but he hated having the feeling of their blood in his hands…

“Your hair is so thin and soft,” Holst said.

Felix could feel a need of changing the subject, erasing the bad things they might have done.

“Glenn must have them like that too, no?”

“Hm… a bit, but his hair had the tendencies to wave as soon as it was humid.”

“Yeah… I… straighten my hair… because I don’t want them to look like Rodrigue’s…”

“Oh… I see. So, can I braid your hair or too risky to have them wavy after?”

“You can braid.”

“Thank you. You’ll be so cute!” Holst smiled.

“Ugh…” Felix replied.

He didn’t care at all about being pretty.

Felix just let him do. It was a quite soothing feeling. He hadn’t felt it since so long. Sylvain would always shower him with tenderness and, somewhat, Felix had forgotten othrs people could be tender with him too. Holst was far away from the mad warrior he fought a few days ago. His gestures were all filled with love and Felix didn’t felt the slightest pain. There again… it had been so long. He had forgotten hair could be done with grace and delicacy. It… really was pleasant.

Felix let Holst make tiny braids and use them to hold the long thin hair in a high ponytail and then in a pretty bun.

“You so cute!” Glenn gushed.

“Yeah, you cute,” Miklan smirked. “But your husband is searching you.”

“Thank you, Holst. It’s time to go to the reunion,” Felix said.

“Yes!”

Holst got up, took the very long lock he had to use it to tie his hair in a ponytail as he was walking by Felix’s side. They came in the corridor and Sylvain dashed to Felix, abandoning his conversation with Ferdinand in the mid of it.

“Mon amour! I wondered where you were!”

Felix moved his hand, showing the hairdressing Holst just made him. And Holst was by his side. If Felix could see his brother’s gently touching his cheek, Holst could certainly feel coldness because said brother laid a tender hand on his wrist.

Felix shrugged. “Just getting my hair done,” he explained face to Sylvain’s surprised face.

“Oh, yes. Yes! It’s so pretty!” Sylvain smiled.

“But the real question is ‘it is efficient for fighting?’”

Glenn laughed at this question. “Of course.”

“It looks super efficient,” Sylvain swore.

“It should be,” Holst said. “You can be pretty and an extremely skilled warrior.”

“He said that but I saw him way prettier to go fight,” Miklan noticed with a groan.

“What about the reunion?” Felix asked.

“We were waiting for you,” Edelgard said, appearing at the threshold. Kilos and kilos of metal circled her tiny body already and yet, she had no problem to carry it. “Come in.”

With a movement of her hand, she invited them inside. Sylvain and Felix entered first. Lysithea looked determined. She had brought back her very old outfit of Gremory. Most of people believed the outfits weren’t useful but you could always use them as a benefit. Here… the Gremory outfit stocked different pearl filled with magic. On the bed, Ferdinand, only dressed with a light and practical armor, comforted his husband. He gently held Hubert’s hands and whispered soft words. This was a significant reply to yesterday question: they will ride Bunny and wyverns to reach those Agarthans’ fortress.

“Is your Dragon able to carry us all to the doors of…”

Edelgard make a pause. How was it called again?

“Shambhala…” Hubert said under his breath.

“Can it carry seven people?” Lysithea asked.

“They,” Holst corrected. “Felix and Lysithea are really light, so I believe it’d be easy for them.”

“Hubert is light too,” Ferdinand said. “But if you think we should take Wyverns, it’s fine too. As long as I can stay with him.”

“It’s the migration season. You have to get really along with your Wyvern and have lot of authority to make them follow your wishes. I personally disagree with using the Wyverns in the migration season. Hence I’m so happy to have the chance to get a Dragon by mistake,” he widely smiled. “I might be able to find you Wyverns and help you with that if needed.”

“So your Dragon,” Edelgard said.

“Yep,” Holst replied. “If it didn’t work, we will get Wyverns.”

“Can we fly as low as possible?” Ferdinand asked.

“We can try.”

“I’m going to say goodbye to Dumbass and Lobelia, I join you in the court!” Sylvain said.

“I’m coming,” Felix informed.

He followed his husband outside. While he valued Edelgard and still saw Ferdinand as his best friend, Felix was already overwhelmed by a seven people trip. Even if it was to fight. Felix would just be pleased when it will be just Sylvain and him again… And perhaps Holst. He couldn’t defeat Glenn anymore because his brother had the marvelous idea to die but if he could defeat someone who used to defeat Glenn…

Felix… Felix just wanted to make sure he wouldn’t fail protecting Sylvain ever again. The Teacher had convinced him he was strong enough to beat anyone threatening to harm his husband but… But Holst almost killed Sylvain. So he wasn’t strong enough.

And… more selfishly, Felix liked to be around Holst because he _knew_ Glenn. The more he could know about his brother, the best it was… Glenn was so precious to him and, of course, Felix could see his ghost and interact with him. But nothing changed. Glenn was still that strong and undefeatable figure that raised him and always took care of him. When he was around Holst, however, Glenn totally changed; and what Holst told him about his brother was also different. Felix wanted to know the real Glenn.

“Do you think we will come back soon?” Sylvain asked, caressing Lobelia’s neck.

“Yeah. I guess going on a Dragon’s back is the fastest way. And I don’t make last fights long.”

Sylvain smiled. “You sure don’t.”

He caressed Dumbass’ mane.

Felix, his arms crossed, looked at his husband while said husband received soft love from the horses.

“What will we do once all of this is over? Except going to Sreng? Do you still want to be mercenary.”

“Yes,” Sylvain replied. “You’re the only one I need. If you’re in my life, I need nothing else.”

Sylvain moved away from the horse to hug the one he loved more than anything in the world.

“We are in public,” Felix replied. Yet, he circled his arms around his husband’s shoulders.

“And so what, I’ve to bring you into safety for landing kisses on your lovely face?”

“No, you can enjoy that two seconds hug and kiss me once. Then we will have to wait for you to be able to bring me into safety,” Felix said.

Sylvain caressed his cheek. “Let me take a few seconds, mon amour. I’m sure everything will go alright but if it doesn’t, I want this kiss to be encrypted in your lips forever.”

“Don’t talk like that. You won’t die. I still have projects and we said we’ll die together.”

“What projects?”

Felix looked down. “Hugging and kissing you more…”

Sylvain smiled even more. He delicately lifted his head, caressed his cheek with his thumb and leaned to kiss him with tenderness. Felix replied to his kiss with delight, pouring all his love in it.

The moment lasted a couple of perfect seconds and then, they pressed their forehead together. For one second, Felix looked at him in the eyes then found his lips more interesting. Or rather safer. He just enjoyed the moment a few seconds. Just a few seconds… He knew it was bad to be as affective in public but just for a couple of seconds, a short time stole to the eternity, he wanted to savor this. Just be Sylvain’s husband. Sylvain’s loved one…


	17. Chapter 16: Second Star to the Right

“Are you sure we should…”

Holst fixed the saddle on Bunny’s back and turned his head toward Hubert who looked at the Dragon with panic. He had defeated so many men, he had killed without mercy and nothing could frighten him, no beast, no people, no mage as powerful they were supposed to be… This thing there, about to throw him in the air, looked like a Monster. A gigantic and horrible Monster…

“Either you climb on that Dragon or you leave me go there alone,” Edelgard said.

Not that alone, because Lysithea would be there obviously, and even perhaps Ferdinand, but she wanted to make him react. For her, he could do it. She knew he would be a decisive unit in this quest…

“I come.”

“Dumbass lent his saddle so you’re safe, it’s a good saddle,” Sylvain said.

“Dumbass is so cute,” Holst said.

“Yeah!”

They smiled to each other.

While Ferdinand helped Hubert to straddle the majestic Dragon, Felix gazed at his beloved as Miklan approached Sylvain. His hand landed on his head, tousled his hair as if the wind was playing on it.

“I’ll protect you,” Miklan gently said.

He only knew a way to protect him but he would protect him! He wouldn’t let anything happen to him!

“Felix, we will join you there,” Glenn said. Felix turned his head toward his brother. He hadn’t realized Glenn, and Miklan, might not be in measure to keep up with the speed of the Dragon. “I don’t know if I will be able to help you in that place, however… For three years, I wasn’t able to know where Holst was and I think it was because of that place where they forced him to stay.”

Dread invaded Felix’s face as he stared as Glenn. His eyes widened and he had to fight with himself to prevent a hiccup from crossing his lips.

“Is something wrong, Felix?” Edelgard asked.

Felix didn’t reply, still staring at Glenn.

Glenn approached him and tenderly cupped his cheeks. “You don’t need me.”

Felix craved to give him a reply, whispering ‘I’m not ready.’ And really, he wasn’t. Glenn had always been by his side. Felix could always rely on him. Not only emotionally but also for every battle he wished to fight. Glenn had always been by his side! When Glenn was supposed to vanish forever, he discovered this power that allowed him to still have his brother in his life.

He really wasn’t ready to be without Glenn…

“Mon amour?” Sylvain asked.

He walked toward him and cautiously brushed his wrist, his fingers filled with love.

“We can climb onto that Dragon.”

“You sure?” Sylvain asked.

Glenn tip-toed to press a kiss on his baby brother’s forehead.

“Yeah…” Felix said. “I’m ready…”

He still wasn’t really ready. He wasn’t ready at all to be without Glenn. Sylvain took his hand, together, and it brought a feeling of safety to Felix. They walked toward the Dragon and Lysithea casted a protective spell on them. They couldn’t have enough saddle for every of them and it was important Hubert, Ferdinand’s arms around his thin waist, could use it…

Holst helped them to climb on Bunny, distributing their weight on the Dragon’s back so they could carry them all.

Edelgard and Lysithea mounted on the big Beast’s spine as well. Lysithea made sure they were both perfectly protected. She didn’t want her Empress, the one she loved, to end up deeply wounded. Certainly not at the gates of such a fight.

Holst confirmed with everybody that they had their Relics, except if they had no Crest, no Relics or threw it away when leaving their dominion. Finally, he sat astride the neck of his Dragon and caressed the scales. You could tell doubts inhabited him because little sparkle came from his fingers when he caressed Bunny’s antlers.

“Go, now!”

And the Dragon set off immediately.

They didn’t even seem to be disturbed by the weight added. Not of the Humans, not of the Relics. Holst knew they were slower, and more cautious, than usually but that was perfectly normal and he was understanding of this…

Hubert clung on Ferdinand, closing his eyes. Please, please, make it to be over soon…

Edelgard believed the best was to land at a fair distance of the gates of their enemies’ lair.

Everybody agreed with her. The main reason? Hubert… He needed to walk a bit, find back his mind and be able to sort his thoughts! The poor man was still panicked because of the ride. They hoped for a fierce Mage who could quell Those Who Slither in the Dark not for a man who barely could walk before of his faltering legs…

They were close enough, though.

Felix didn’t want to lose one hour in the mountains to track down their enemies’ fortress. The less time those Agarthans had, the best it was. They wouldn’t win.

Not this time!

Their decided paces brought them in the middle of the mountains, amongst peaks and hollows revealing that lost place as terrifying. A _faux pas_ and they could skewer their feet on the dangers laying around. A f _aux pas_ and they risked falling in a pit that seemed without any bottom.

They were cautious.

Not that it was very easy since they were seven and a Dragon plus Hubert had still moment of aftershock.

“From… the researches I made while the War, it shouldn’t be far away…” Hubert said. “It’s impressive to see it for real.”

“It’s reassuring to know the General Goneril hadn’t lied to us,” Edelgard replied.

“He is hearing you,” Holst said.

“I hope so,” the Empress replied with a smirk.

There! Something looked like gates? It wasn’t apparent. The doors were hidden by the ground level and you could only notice them because they were slightly shining. Just a few centimeters came from the slope pit where the fortress laid.

At this moment, Felix wondered if they weren’t already _above_ the lair. Could a deep hole bring them in the sanctum in a heartbeat? This would be a good way to make a surprising entry to be honest. He could slay down their opponent and then… Sreng and a long life with Sylvain.

What could he ask more?

“I go first,” Edelgard decided, moving forward.

“The doors are magically closed. Only a magic allowed to enter can enter,” Holst replied.

“Are you still allowed inside?” Lysithea asked.

“I doubt about it…” Holst said. He walked forward and held out his hand. Sparkles came from his fingertips and licked the doors. “I think they know I turned against them…”

The doors refused to move.

“Then, what should we do?” Felix growled.

Hubert approached the door as well and laid his gloved hand on the cold stone. He could feel the magic, ancient and powerful. It flooded through it, invading his skin, and he breathed his magic into the doors, into the occult mechanism hidden in the stone. He felt it fight back…

“This can be coerced,” Hubert uttered. “If we can bring a bigger magic than this door, we can open it.”

“Do you have a bigger magic?” Edelgard asked.

Lysithea’s hand switched. She called her magic but froze when she saw Hubert shook his head.

“You can try, Lysithea but I doubt you own enough magic for this mechanism,” Hubert said.

“It’s useless to waste your magic,” Sylvain intervened.

“We have to enter!” Edelgard said.

“Perhaps you can’t overcome this magic without draining yourself. And perhaps it was their plan,” Sylvain said. “So… Why not merging magic and making one strong enough to unlock that door?”

“This is an idea,” Hubert accorded.

Lysithea approached him. She pressed her hand on the cold stone, just next to his. Magic flew from their fingers. The door growled. But it wasn’t enough yet. Felix approached and laid his hand on the door as well. Sylvain hadn’t much magic to offer but he pressed his hand on his husband’s shoulder to help. Ferdinand and Edelgard could certainly have helped as well but their magic was really too low and they had to make sure they would be able to fight in the maze of their enemy.

“Can I?” Holst asked.

“Please,” Edelgard said.

Felix moved his free hand to accept Holst’s. Sparkles came from Holst’s fingertips as their fingers intertwined.

Magic flew.

The door seemed to moan. But even if it fought back, struggled, protested, it couldn’t win over their magic. They hadn’t poured lots and they could force it more. They could make it quiver and break if it kept resisting. So the magic yield and the gates opened to the dark maze of Shambhala…


	18. Chapter 17: The shadow of Shambhalla

From all of them, Sylvain was certainly the one with the less magic. Yet, he was the one holding a fire in his palm, providing light inside the lair. Symbol shone in the walls, the roof and the floor but it wasn’t enough to lighten their path.

They had to be careful.

They didn’t know from where the enemy could arrive…

Felix kept throwing look behind him. Sylvain had noticed it, of course.

“Fe’?”

“Yes?” he asked.

“You fine? Is there something behind us?” Sylvain wondered.

“It’s fine. It’s…” Felix approached him, his wrist brushing his husband’s wrist. Sylvain wanted to grab his hand, squeeze it tenderly and bring him courage but he was holding the Lance of Ruin in his hand. The light of the Relics was helping them to distinguish each other in the darkness but the fire was more helpful. “Glenn couldn’t come inside because of that magic.”

“It’s fine,” Sylvain said. “Everything will be okay.”

“Yeah. I don’t fear them.”

He closed harder his hand on the handler of his sword. Soon. Soon!

“Soon, we’ll be outside.”

“Yes.”

“Once I’d be sure none of them risk to hurt you…” Sylvain growled. The light of the Relic and the fire in his eyes made them glow red.

“Hurt him again? Just like we killed his poor brother?” Felix felt something dig into his flesh, blood streaming along his cheek. “We killed him. We killed him in the ‘Tragedy of Duscur’ and we will get you, Felix Hugo Fraldarius… Weren’t you, less strong than him?!”

In the gleam of the Relics, in the dancing light of the fire, a man had appeared, his long fingers digging in Felix’s face.

Sylvix sure wanted to throw his Lance forward and run through the man but he was afraid he might hurt his husband. Felix could have slay him down, but the words he just said frightened him. Wasn’t he less strong than Glenn?!

The face of the man leaning over him looked like Dimitri’s uncle?

No.

It was that guy they have seen after the death of Jeralt.

Or it was Dimitri’s uncle?

A flash of light hit the man, showing his face changing. It was just like Tomas and Monica! They were taking another people’s face, taking another people’s live!

The light never hit the man who suddenly disappeared in a flash.

Felix let out a scream of pain when the lightning licked his skin, invading his venous system and making him shiver.

“Felix! I’m sorry!” Holst drew closer and his fingers brushed his cheeks, magic invading Felix in order to heal him. “I’m so sorry…”

He pressed their noses together.

“It’s fine…” Felix said.

He wiped his cheeks and glared at the gleaming scarlet spreading on his skin.

Blood.

They wanted his blood…

“We have to find him and kill him,” he growled. “I will make him pay to have taken away Glenn from me…”

He felt sparkle against his skin and heard Holst whisper a ‘sorry’.

“How can we find them?” Felix asked.

“We can use you as a bait,” Hubert smirked.

“No one uses my husband as a bait,” Sylvain warned with a groan.

“Yet, it would be a good idea,” Lysithea recognized.

Through the gleam of the symbols around, it was hard to see where they could be. Damn! They could hide anywhere!

“I’m fine being used as a bait.”

Sylvain opened his lips when he heard those horrible words. But he couldn’t protest more. He didn’t want to step against Felix’s will. His husband was smart and even if he appeared only responding to instincts, Sylvain knew how shrewd he was…

“Then I suppose we will use my husband as a bait…”

“Don’t worry, Sylvain.”

Sylvain smirked, in hope of showing confidence, but he worried. Not because of Felix’s skill. Certainly not! But because he knew he wouldn’t survive if he lost Felix…

“Felix! Can you give me something very important to you?” Lysithea asked under her breath. If Those Who Slither in the Dark were lurking around, eavesdropping, they needed to be discrete… “If something owns your identity, I will be able to warp us to you as soon as you will signal us to do so.”

“I will threw lightning,” Felix swore.

Lysithea awaited him to hand her his wedding ring but he removed his choker instead. His fingers closed on the spur. A light sting attacked his flesh but he didn’t mind.

“I’ll keep an eye on it for you,” Sylvain swore.

Felix nodded and grabbed the Lance of Ruin. Imprisoned by fingers, it immediately stopped to gleam. Sylvain’s lips gapped in surprise then he felt arms around him and he leaned to bring his lips to Felix’s. The glows around the Relics was enough to light the darkness around their owner yet, it offered intimacy to their kiss. Hopefully, this wouldn’t be their last one…

Felix caressed Sylvain’s cheek then moved away.

He used lightning, but nestled in his palm, to direct himself within the maze. He needed to be away from them. He needed to make those Agarthans believe they had the upper hand on them.

Felix was…

Frightened.

It was the first time he had to face a total and perfect silence…

The pitch black.

Just some symbol shining once in a while and casting baleful shadows in those narrow gleaming circles.

He just had to wait for that man to come get him.

There was nothing, just him, the blackness and his sword. Did they want him alive? They could come from anywhere and just… run through him with any weapon or magic. Perhaps his live was about to vanish.

And if it was the case… if Glenn and Miklan, and the others, couldn’t come inside did that meant his conscious would… vanish? Did that meant he could never keep an eye on Sylvain, guard him…

He moved his hand to his mouth, pressing his lips on the ring at his left hand.

“I love you.” He hoped their love would carry the words to Sylvain’s heart.

“A-do-ra-ble!”

The cold voice made Felix quiver.

It came from behind him!

He spun on his heels, lightning exuding from his body. The man jumped away with a laugh as he saw the dazzle impact on the blade directed right at him. The blade ready to transpierce him. The man grabbed the weapon.

“I’ve been searching for your blood since the first time I met you. Finally… A natural Major Crest. I tricked your brother’s fiancé with love and as for you…” The man grabbed his face with his other hand. Once again, his nails dug in his flesh. “Your life against your Gautier’s life…”

“Fuck. You.” Felix smiled.

A purple flash lightened the maze, brushing the symbols and making them gleam harder.

“Wh…”

Magic suddenly hit the man, throwing him on the floor in a spectacle of color as dark spell, lightning and fire swallowed the room. Sylvain made swirl the Lance of Ruin and moved its wiggling bones toward his enemy. He could feel the smell of the blood. Of _Felix_ ’s blood, and he couldn’t forgive that.

“DON’T KILL HIM!!” Hubert roared.

The Lance slightly slipped from Sylvain’s hand.

Their adversary let out a cold chuckle then a scream when the spear ripped open his shoulder. A bit on the side, and it was the throat.

Lightning surrounded the man. He could do magic to run away but the sparkles were licking his skin. Lysithea moved forward, spikes blossoming around her as if she was a fairy. One of them traversed his thigh and forced him on place. He yelled. His yells echoed on the walls.

Edelgard stepped toward him.

“Be careful, he still can use magic,” Sylvain growled.

He walked toward Felix and brushed his chin, the carmine droplets begriming his freckled fingers.

“Yes! I ca…”

The man moved his fingers, directing them directly toward Sylvain. And he yelled because a foot, surrounded by lightning, suddenly welted his belly. And the foot was heeled!

“Don’t you dare touching the babies…” Holst growled.

Hubert whispered a spell. Suddenly, their enemy’s body seemed to be drained from everything. Every ounce of magic.

Felix moved forward. A million of questions swirled in his head like a tornado. Some came back again and again and again. A chaotic question that screamed in his brain.

Have you killed my brother?

“How can they be saved from what you did to them?” Felix asked. “Undone what you did to them.”

“Why would I?” the man smirked.

“Because if you don’t, I will make sure you will be in suffer every second of your life until I’d lose Lady Edelgard,“ Hubert growled.

“I don’t feel it,” Felix said.

“You don’t feel it?” Sylvain repeated.

“Holst? How much are they?” Felix asked.

“Yes… how much are they?” the enemy smirked.

“More than that,” Holst said.

“Stay here,” Felix commanded to Edelgard. “Try to get what you want. I’ll defeat every last one of them.”

“I keep this if I need to join you in emergency,” Lysithea said, her fingers closed around the choker.

“Very well. But give it back to me when I’ll be done. Holst can you show me the way?”

“Yes,” Holst replied.

“I come with you,” Sylvain said.

He glanced at Ferdinand who gently nodded. They both had different battle. Edelgard and Lysithea wanted to have back their life, to wish for a very long existence together; Sylvain wanted to be sure no one would ever hurt his husband again. Their path will step away from each other again. Felix preferred that. When he watched at Edelgard, or Hubert, Lysithea and even Ferdinand, he saw the echoes of his decision. He stepped against his country, he killed his family…

It hurt.

It really hurt…

“Would you still love me if I killed every of them?” Felix asked.

“Yes,” Holst replied.

“I meant Sylvain,” Felix growled.

Sylvain laughed “I obviously thought you talked to him too.” He grabbed his tiny and pale hand, squeezing it between his fingers. “There is nothing you can do for me to stop loving you. I will love you until my last breath.”

Felix closed his hand on his sword. “I could have lent my wedding ring to Lysithea. It certainly would have been more efficient than the choker. But you’d have to cut my hand to make me stop wearing this ring.” Felix looked down at his left hand. He could wield a sword with the left one. He could fight with whatever hand he wanted. But if he lost his hand… he wouldn’t be able to fight and hold Sylvain’s hand at once. ”I gave you my hand and I’d give my hand for you,” Felix uttered.

“Everything I owe is yours.”

“I know.” Felix squeezed his hand. “Same.”

Sylvain smiled.

Holst didn’t dare to break the lovely silence so he gently pushed Sylvain’s shoulder to lead him toward the correct direction. Felix followed. They were about to step in more blood but their married life had been tainted with scarlet already. The scarlet of blood, the scarlet of the House they choose to follow despite everything, the scarlet of Sylvain’s lips… Lips offering so much tenderness. More than Felix would never believe he deserved…


	19. Red hands

“Is it over?” Felix asked between his breath.

“As I remember, yes,” Holst replied.

Felix looked down at his hands. He wished it would be darker, pitch black again, so he wouldn’t be in measure to see his hands. Grimed with red. Grimed with blood. He was just like the Boar. He was just a Beast…

A big hand closed over his hand.

He looked up when he saw his fingers lifted, brought to red lips and being kissed. As if they were still pure. Immaculate.

“Sylvain…”

“I don’t care,” Sylvain whispered. “You don’t change if you have to kill.”

“I wanted to kill them.”

“And I know your heart.”

“They killed my brother,” Felix said under his breath. “He is dead.”

Sylvain stared at him. He realized today that his husband had never been able to grief it. To grieve any death. Glenn was still by his side, haunting him. How course, he wasn’t aging, remaining that eighteen-nineteen young man. And yet, he grew closer and closer. But for almost sixteen years, he hadn’t the opportunity to feel what other felt. Today, the grief was seizing him and for someone who never experienced it before…

In a few minutes, Glenn will be there again.

But right now, he became fully aware of the empty feeling. Somehow, he knew… it would never be the same again.

“Revenge isn’t you, but nothing change. You don’t change. Your hand protect more than it kill. I cherish this hand. I cherish you.”

“You always have the words…” Felix’s hand twitched. He wanted to brush his face, wipe away the blood from his lips. But he knew he would only spread more blood on his skin. Merge the freckles with droplets of blood. “You’re always out of your mind. Enough to love me. Despite everything.”

“Same for you, mon amour.” Sylvain cupped his face with one hand. The other gently gripped Felix’s hand to bring it at his cheek. Felix stared at him with fear and tenderness at once. “You picked the most flawed, ridicule and destroyed horse and you said ‘yup, that’s my fav’!”

“In this scenario, you are a horse? You know I still can’t ride a horse.” Holst chuckled. Felix frowned. “Or don’t get along with them. But… Yes, you’re my favorite.”

“Horse?” Sylvain smiled.

“Everything,” Felix replied.

He pressed their forehead together.

“Felix?”

“Yes?” he asked.

With an old handkerchief, dirty and sweaty from days of being carried in a mercenary life, Sylvain removed the blood on his husband’s face.

“Hilda’s body was here. Can I take her? Would she be angry if I take her? I don’t want to let her here. I should burry her.”

“You know her better than me,” Felix replied.

“I will burry her,” Holst said.

Felix nodded in sign of comprehension.

“We also should take as many books as we can. If ever… That guy doesn’t reply to the ladies,” Sylvain said. “I don’t want them to keep suffering from what they did to her.” He looked at Holst. “Neither you.”

“I’m fine,” he said.

“Edelgard and Lysithea said that it shortens your…” Sylvain stopped talking in the middle of his sentence. “That’s what you want…”

“What would you do if you were in my shoes?” Holst whispered.

“I would never have lived that long,” Sylvain said. “I would have died the same day. Because a life without Felix…”

“They asked me to keep going but for what? When I will have burry Hilda… What I am supposed to do?”

Felix stepped away from his beloved. He walked toward the door, crossed it and walked toward the room Holst had designed as the library earlier. Sylvain immediately followed him and swirled on his heels as he stepped in the corridors.

“Come with us,” he asked.

Holst nodded and walked after them. They gathered the books in silence and then they walked where Holst remembered Hilda’s coffin laid. They couldn’t wait more to leave those darks corridors.

When they arrived in front of Hilda, Sylvain couldn’t help glancing at her. Even though he had heard the story, he expected to see a skeleton but she was just like she was the last time he saw her.

“Can you hold that for me?” Holst asked to Sylvain, holding out Freikugel.

“Yeah,” he replied.

He pushed the bag of books on his back and moved the hand. As soon as his fingers closed around the stem, and as soon as Holst let go of it, Sylvain suddenly was dragged down, toward the floor. When the Relic hit the floor, it made a sound that echoed all around the maze of Shambhala. Felix stared at him with a smirk.

“Give that to me,” he said.

He took Freikugel without a slightest problem. Lifting it as if it was just a piece of bread.

“Do you know how much I love you?” Sylvain said under his breath.

“More than yesterday… but less than tomorrow?”

“Yeah. More every second.”

Sylvain looked at Holst as he opened the coffin of his sister and carried her, hugging her tight against his chest.

“Let’s go,” Felix said. “The other will join us later.”

“Yeah,” Sylvain nodded.

“I’ll lead the way.”

Holst felt his heart so heavy. He had been terribly manipulated for years and this place was bittersweet to him. But he will leave it. Forever. They will leave it forever… The shadow of Those Who Slither in the Dark was raised. There was nothing else… just the future to reach.

Together, they left the place and when the door opened to the freedom, they all had to close their eyes because the bright Sun was unbearable. They have stayed too many hours in a sad darkness…

“Felix!”

Felix smiled when he felt Glenn’s arms around him. Or rather when he felt the coldness of his death around him. He wanted to erase that fatality. He wanted to forget the facts…

“Princess… You got some books. You were supposed to defeat the bad guys not being a nerd,” Miklan said.

“Holst, that’s gross… Throw me somewhere, please. Don’t do it again…”

It was weird so Felix wouldn’t say it, but that strange power of his suddenly seemed delightful. Even if he saw the Boar, even if he saw his father… even though this one had concern in his face.

“Do you think we can use Freikugel as a shovel?” Sylvain wondered.

“We should try,” Holst replied. “But we can’t burry her here…”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“We can leave as soon as I get back my choker,” Felix said.

“We have to bring the girls, Ferdie and his husband with us,” Sylvain reminded. “We can’t abandon them here.”

Bunny approached to rub their head against Holst’s cheek. Holst smiled and rubbed back his cheek against his Dragon.

It had needed three hours for them to have Edelgard, Lysithea, Hubert and Ferdinand to come back, then to leave in Dragon’s back. While Sylvain and Felix went back in town with the others, Holst and Bunny searched for a field where they could burry Hilda. Holst dreamed of a place that would be covered with flowers or trees but he had to do what he could with what he had…

Not much, frankly.

He was in the middle of digging the hole when Felix and Sylvain arrived, with a real shovel instead of an axe and Dragon’s claws.

Once the hole made, Holst laid Hilda in it.

“Do you know who killed her?” Holst asked.

“Yeah, but won’t tell you,” Felix replied.

Bunny approached the grave to push the dirt on the lady. Holst looked away because he couldn’t see her being stained.

“I should burry the Lance of Ruin too…” Sylvain said. “Don’t take it badly, Holst.”

“It’s fine,” he replied. “If you do, I’d like to throw Freikugel with it.”

“Yeah, sure!” Sylvain replied. “Better not doing it next to Hilda. We will find somewhere to do it!”

Holst nodded, hugging himself. It was so cold…

“Glenn and Miklan are hugging you,” Felix informed.

“Thank you,” Holst replied with a sniff. “W… Where will you go now?”

“We planned to go to Sreng. Keep being Mercenary,” Felix replied. “Do you mount on Bunny or Lobelia? You planned to take Dumbass perhaps?”

“I don’t understand the question…” Holst said.

“It’s an easy question, yet. Who do you want to mount?”

“But you keep Lobelia and Dumbass, no?” Holst replied.

“Dude,” Sylvain intervened. “You don’t want to come with us anymore?”

“I… What?” Holst whispered. “You want me to come with you?”

“Of course,” Sylvain said. “Come!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not proud of the last chapter and want to rewrite it and turn it into two distincts chapters but I still got no time for it. So for now, I thank you for having bear this Sylvix event with me and I hope we shall meet in another Sylvix work!!!


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